Friday, May 02, 2008

chainsaw 101

That tree needs to come down – I say. It has a sprawling habit and it is invasive. [And it’s very close to the future site of the Writer’s Shed.]

Can I use your chainsaw?

I have never used a chainsaw. I know that they are unsafe. But Ed has a good one, with features that surely will keep the chain from disengaging and hitting my limbs. Besides, most bad accidents (90%, according to Minnesota website) happen from branches falling. This tree, as I said, is thick, but low.

You need chaps. I don’t have chaps. [chaps are leg guards]

Okay. I understand. I’ll be super careful. Super super careful.

Wear protective eye stuff and ear guards. And know that this is a dangerous tool.

Forewarned. But not about this essential element: cutting through tree limbs is damn hard work!

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I now add to my skills this: a very half-assed knowledge of and comfort level with chainsaws. (I once told someone that I am an encyclopedia of half-assed knowledge.)

Meanwhile, Cha keeps to his planting regiment in the neighboring field and the willow branches sway this way and that and really, it is a fine day.

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P.S. Let me add this on the subject of chainsaws: Even though most people don’t die from chainsaw accidents, they do lose limbs and other precious commodities. Sure, people die in cars with a millionfold greater frequency. But I read about chainsaw injuries on the Net. Gruesome! So, my 101 here is important: be very very careful when you come anywhere near a chainsaw and protect yourself in all ways. With chaps, eyeguards, the whole shebang. Otherwise, it’s like this: the chain slips at a speed you can’t even imagine and hits you in one place or another and then you've got yourself a major headache.