I have house guests arriving tomorrow and this set me thinking how I ought to print out a little guest card, explaining stuff. These guys have been at the farmhouse before, several times, in fact. It's like having family come down. But others may not remember the little idiosyncrasies of the place. There are so many!
Some things to note are just small suggestions. Like: you don’t have to pull the curtain in the bathroom. No one will see you! Enjoy the pleasure of sitting on a toilet and looking out on a vast expanse of yard and fields beyond.
Or -- if the shower doesn't produce hot water, let us know. It may be that the wind blew the flame out on the water heater. It happens. Rarely, but it happens.
Some are hints for the first-timer: please do take off your shoes inside! We have a mudroom that can take many pairs of shoes. Our floors are old and we love them, but they’re getting thin. Most people do this automatically, but still, new guests may not know our preference here.
Then, too, I want to tell about the switches that go to nowhere. The bottom switch in the bathroom? Forget it. It’s for the vent, but right now, if you turn it on, all you’ll do is blow vermiculite around in the attic.
Here’s another: our loading Internet speed is slow. I know that. Don’t be frustrated when uploading photos. Just give yourself time. Hurrying at the farmhouse is a rare event.
But there’s one little suggestion that gets stricken today: squash and flush any and all box elder beetles that you may find. This winter brought out a bunch! Harmless, but not exactly affable. They picked the farmhouse for their winter hideout; I’ve gotten used to eliminating them – a dozen or two each day.
Not any more! We found their entry and we blocked it! The squash and flush suggestion is a thing of the past.
...but it’s replaced by a reassurance about the bathroom door handle: if it comes off, just put it back on. We bought a defective set and haven’t gotten around to fixing/replacing it.
Oh, and a couple of hints on how to make use of the full beauty of the place: if it snows, run out (even in your undies, no one will see, no one will care) and take a photo.
And if, two hours later, it all melts and the sun comes out, run out again and take another.
God, I love this place.