the season

The weather continues to define each day. As expected, freezing rain overnight. The porch roof is finally off limits. Neither Ed or I are that insane. (Though we did do a google search to see what they use to de-ice planes... Verdict? too toxic!)

The next drama is to come on Sunday (heavy snow) and then on Monday (single digit highs).

December is such an interesting month.

And such a beautiful month! A musical month. My playlist has five hours of favorite Christmas music and I judge it to be incomplete. However did it come to pass that I took on this holiday and considered it my own? The heathen who loves Christmas!

Understandable, no? When I was living in New York, everyone I knew was Christmas-happy. The family I au-paired for was Jewish, but they had a tree and gave Christmas gifts. So, too, Ed's family. Well, obviously! If I could love Bach, if my college professor, Prof. Sachs, could show me the relevance of St. Matthew's Passion to everyone's life, doesn't it follow that all tradition, and especially all musical tradition should command the same respect?  In those days at least, Christmas was everyone's holiday.

That wonderful music -- repetitive, familiar, glues it together and I listen now to my playlist, jumping between Polish hymns and Ella Fitzgerald and Diana Krall and Clare College and Kings College and St John's College and if that's all too serious for you, I have also the Muppets -- ohhh, what's there not to love?

Ed goes upstairs to escape it all.


Scenes from the day:

Breakfast, almost ready!





Ice!











Christmas at the farmhouse.

Thursday

I read student wills today. Or rather, drafts of wills that students wrote for others. For some reason, it was a very touching experience. Most of them took the (ungraded) assignment seriously and their finished product was both creative and with a personal touch. I like that.

The day lacked sun. That winter grayness set in. It was expected. As is the ice rain for tonight. Weather today should be ignored. Everything else proceeded smoothly and with charm.

Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. More than ever, they define the day. Put contours to it.
















The sun tries to break through. Momentarily. I seize the minutes and head out for a brisk walk "around the block." The air feels cold in its dampness. In anticipation of that icy drizzle tonight. An unexpected warm up, but not warm enough to break the long spell of below freezingweather.






On the bright side of things, I want to say that there is breakthrough in the case of the orchid plants! I've had these babies for years and in recent times, they've not bloomed. This year, they're finally coming around again. As if to say -- we know our home is here. We can relax now. Not hold back. We're content.







And, too, it is a wonderful day of 'almost retirement.' Yes, I'm still reading papers and exams, but I'm doing it slowly. Contemplatively. No hurry now. None whatsoever.

winter day

A poem written to memorialize it, a dinner invitation, messages, emails, cards, comments here on Ocean. Then the student thank yous. Unexpectedly. Gifts. Flowers. Beautiful notes. Wow. How can people be this nice?






Who knew that retirement would be this... emotionally charged?


Winter sunrise. (From the bedroom window again. How convenient that one doesn't have to step out to take in its beauty!)






 Breakfast. (And yes, I'm responsible for shaving that beard off. He had grown quite the Santa stuff in the time I was away.)






And a fairly pretty winter day in Wisconsin. But, I'm still attending to things. Perhaps I will always be "just" attending to things, but I do have to say that today, I accomplished much that needed to be done.

An office visit (producing these flowers that you see in the first photo) and errands in every direction and so it isn't until after 4 when I finally pull into the farmette driveway.

It really has gotten to be too late to ski. (The sunset, over the farmette.)






But a walk? Can we do a walk?

Yes. (In the same Lake Farm park where we so often ski, just two minutes east of us.)















Then home. Isis comes to the door as we come in and his loud meow is full of accusation. Where have you been?
It's dinner time. He gets leftovers, we get leftovers. Satisfied, he goes right back to bed. Ed plays volley ball. I sit down to post.

Tuesday

Write quickly now, before my still jet lagged senses shut down for the night.


Breakfast, in the sun room (with a new little cloth spread over the round table):











Next -- a major organizational roundup. I'd call it cleanup, but it's more than that. Stacks of papers, piles of books, clothes, oh everything -- all out of order.

So this was the morning: ordering things and then polishing it all up. Ending with a prominent setting of the plant we use as a Christmas tree.






One glance outdoors and I see that it's a sunny day. Warmer than the previous two. Touching thirty maybe.






It's impossible to stay indoors. There is a new layer of snow and I once more (perhaps for the last time?) climb up on the porch roof to sweep it off. And then I just want more of the outdoors.

And so we go skiing again.











And that's just grand, except that I have my sixth floor (where I worked) friends from the Law School coming over for supper. And so after the skiing, time gets a bit tight. I don't even pause to take many photos. It is one huge sprint to bake the cornbread, poach the pears, roast the fish, make the sauce for it.



the cornbread -- with apples and onion




the pears, in honey and wine


The friends come and it is a merry time of of reminiscing and poem reading (on retiring) and then we call it quits because they have to be at the office tomorrow morning. Not me. That "have to be at work" schedule belongs to the past.

I'll be picking up exams to grade tomorrow or the next day, but I'm not at all stressed by this. It's the last bunch. And after, I'll turn my face toward the projects that I'm lining up for the years before me.

back home

There's a beautiful moon outside...
I know, but my camera is packed and I haven't the energy to look for it.

It has been a long trip back and the last part -- waiting for the last flight to Madison -- seemed the longest of them all. A delay of three hours isn't tragic, but it wears on you, especially when the crew keep saying - just a few more minutes - and it's not that at all.

But it surely seems like I snuck in through a window of decent flying weather. Snow the day before, snow today -- wow, there's winter in Wisconsin!

We stopped at the grocery store on the way home from the airport. Salad - I want a salad! Oh, home is looking so good!

In the middle of the night, Ed again tells me about the moon. But I don't want to move: Isis has snuggled at my elbow all night long. I don't want to disturb him.

Still, it really is bright, throwing winter beams over the snow-dusted earth. I catch the shadows of the night out the bathroom window.






And in the morning, there is a sunrise, and I don't need to leave the farmhouse for that either.



out the bedroom window





out the bathroom window



And there is breakfast...





And there are chores to be done, groceries to be restocked, all that.

And thenthe  snow starts falling.






Want to go skiing?
The temps are in the single digits... Well sure, why not.

It's crazy to go skiing at 4 p.m. when you could have gone at 3 or 2 (because you're retired!). But we do just that, driving over in the old Geo that, against all odds, Ed repaired in time for the winter season.

It's spremely quiet out here, in the woods by the lake.





No  ski tracks to follow, just a white path.

It takes us an hour to do the loop and sure enough, it's nearly dark when we finish.





You don't like this as much as Paris, he says.
We talk like that. It's the way we express a feeling of pleasure.


At that farmhouse, Isis has settled in for the long haul. That cat is a poster boy for contentedness. He's not the only one.

Paris daze

This is it: it's all that remains. Paris, in a day.  Where to? What now? I'll just walk and somewhere in that, I will find my direction.

Breakfast first. It's already late. I don't want to sit down and watch the sun get close to its zenith. I want to feel that beautiful light on my face, walk in its warmth, outdoors, Paris outdoors. So I go to the Buci market -- just a handful of blocks from where I live, noting the street scenes, always very much with an eye toward everything and everyone around me, because, truly, it's what I love best -- to watch and take back with me something that I've seen...






It's lively here again, right by the market. Music.






...and I go to the market cafe and ask if they're out of croissants already. They are. I go across the street and buy the freshest, warmest pain au chocolate I've had in years and bring it back to the cafe, to eat at the counter, with the stand-up crowd. (It's cheapest and fastest that way.)






And then I turn toward those pretty streets between the river and the Boulevard St Germain -- it's always so quiet here! I love Paris best in the quietest corners.

I step inside a store. Tempted. Always tempted by tablecloths. No! No more! How about a napkin? Easy to pack!







Get outside! Take in that glorious sunshine! This trip has had an abundance of it -- I'm rich with sunshine!


Cross the river...






The Seine is raging this year! There is a force and anger to it that I do not fully understand. Even as lovers find solace in a stroll by its banks...






I'm in the Tuileries Gardens -- the right bank park that really isn't even close to the beauty of the Luxembourg Gardens on the left bank! Still, it is a place of calm if you stray from the main avenue. Here's a small group, lunching on a bench. They're well prepared -- napkin and all.






And it strikes me now that in the sun, it actually feels quite warm. I unzip my jacket and continue. Where to? Actually, I re-cross the river, back to the left bank. I had checked the special exhibitions at the Musee d'Orsay, just in case I would want to stop by. It's a tough call: good stuff at the museum, brilliant sunshine outdoors.

I give in to the museum. But just one exhibition! Just one, hear?!

Well, a ticket is a ticket -- you pay for the whole museum. So after spending time looking at naked men...





(these are posters announcing the entrance to the special exhibition: inside there are several rooms pulling together art -- from the eighteenth century through today -- depicting the nude male; themes that emerge -- the hero, the sport figure, man in pain... so different than if you pulled together art depicting the naked woman!)

...I promised myself I'd leave then. But I don't leave. I give in to the draw of two more new (for me) exhibitions: one is the post-impression collection of Van Gogh (in Arles) and Gauguin (in Polynesia) paintings -- it's a homage to Francoise Cachin who died 2011 and who was the first director of this museum and a great lover of its art. The other is a small collection that is a recent contribution. You wont care that it's art by Cezanne, Degas, Bonnard. But I care. All belong to my list of favorites. But enough already! Outside -- I want to be outside!

Where to now? I'm thinking of walking back to the Marais -- the one neighborhood on the right bank that I truly do love.

So it's back across the river, through the Touileries Gardens...






...and I stay in the gardens for as long as I can, because, inferior (in my mind) that they are to the "other" gardens, they offer calm. You can see that, can't you?






Calm. Yes, Paris can feel very soothing in places.

And then elsewhere, it's chaos. Terrible awful traffic and cigarette smoke hitting you from the crowded sidewalks, and, too, souvenir stalls, one after another and I can't even see the sun, because I am under arcades (yes, I'm walking along the awful Rue de Rivoli), and Mr. Mayor of Paris, if you could just listen to me on this one -- couldn't you exert your tremendous influence and make this a pedestrian zone? Paris has far too few of those. Fewer than any other city in Europe.

Anything to get out of this madness!

And here's the charm of Paris: you can get out of the madness. It's not too hard. Walk some more, turn a few corners (oh, the smugness of that cafe! Calling itself "the dog who smokes"!)






...walk briskly now, around the Halles, the Pompidou Center once more -- and there.... exhale. In the Marais. A few dainty shops, a gentler pace.

And a moment in the park. Place des Vosges once more. Where the soul regenerates.






I have been on my feet for more than five hours now, but I do not pause. Or, at least not to sit down. I'm on the island  now between the left and the right banks and it's warm enough that I am tempted. Yes, an ice cream cone. Black currant!


 


So now I can see that the sun is setting and I have eaten absolutely nothing healthy all day and I am, I admit it, in need of a pause. I do realize that to take a pause in my apartment requires those flights of stairs, but I don't mind. Without bags, it's a breeze.


A quick rest. Packing my suitcase and duffel bag. No longer light, no longer empty. I will for sure have terrible regrets the morning on my final walk down those steps.

And I'm out again! I have one more quick errand and it's all the way in the department store. I say this to Ed, who is Skyping me and he says -- that's far! You want to get what? Oh, a present! Eh, give him some batteries instead and be done with it! Ha ha ha, sure Ed, I'll do that) and I really am on the run now (no photos!) because I do not want to be late for my dinner reservation at Pouic Pouic.

Pouic Pouic. I would have eaten my last dinner at Pouic Pouic even if I'd blown my life savings on lunch earlier. But I hadn't blown much at all on food today. Pain au chocolat: 1.15 Euro. Caffe creme: 2.50. Ice cream cone: 2.50. That's it! And yes, I'm hungry!

So, now I'm there and quickly, let's get to the listing of dinner foods: scrambled egg with a shaving of a truffle, roasted scallops with parsnip puree, mille feuille in salted caramel. Yes, super yummy.
















But as everywhere, it's not just the food. It's the vibe. At Pouic Pouic, the waitstaff wears jeans, tables are without covers - so it's relaxed. But it's professional, too. They want you to know they're serious about their food. I tell them, rather shyly, because who am I, after all, just another diner, but I tell them anyway that the minute I learn I'm to be in Paris, I book my dinner here.
Really? That is true?
W-eh...
(I have finally picked up that the French have as many words for yes as we do. Ours: yeah, yup, yo, or - my favorite with my kids: yeppers peppers. These days, I'm hearing a lot of "w-eh" in France.)
The chef will be so pleased! I'll go tell him!
Never assume that a complement is unnecessary.

And that ends the day for me. As usual, worrying about waking on time is completely ridiculous as I always wake up before the alarm goes off. I give myself time to carry my luggage down without a panic, but that, too, is smooth. Of the two -- carrying up lighter suitcases or carrying down heavy ones, the latter is easier.

I have been living just a block from the river... here, in this block (it's still dark when I leave in the morning):






And so my departure is different from the usual station by the Luxembourg Gardens. My last goodbye is here, by the river's edge.






Oh, I'm in the holiday season, right? A final wave...






...a final pain au chocolat at the airport, watching the sunrise from here...





Thinking back, thinking forward... Such a superb trip. So very happy to be coming home!