sleepwalking

Again I wake up after a mere couple-hour doze. It's not quite 2 a.m.. Go to sleep, go to sleep, don't think now, go to sleep. And yet, I do think. I can't help it. I'm behind in packing, I don't get how I am going to fit in a table builder, a carpet cleaner, and the movers, all at the same hour tomorrow, and shouldn't I buy a flashlight? Too, as the only decent place to sit in my new home, the couch will get quite the workout-- especially from the kids, who heretofore spent most of the hours on the lesser couch, where cherry juiced fingers and chocolate covered faces were tolerated because, well, it was the lesser couch, and it had a cotton blanket over it. An ugly orange blanket, because the too-small couch that was there before had been orange, and the kids got attached to it, and complained bitterly when we threw it out. So shouldn't I get a couch cover, since I'm walking away with the better couch now? I google "best couch covers." It seems everything is rated these days and there are many links to seemingly ugly but apparently best couch covers. And when I pick one and post my credit card number, it strikes me that I'd never heard of this company and is it actually legit? There's no address, no phone number, just an email. I send them a message to cancel the order. We'll see how that goes. By four, I remember that I have a grocery delivery to the farmhouse in the late morning, but maybe I should add milk because I'm drinking so much coffee so milk becomes an essential. Oh, and more ice cream bars for the kids because they sure go through them quickly. And then I try to sleep again and it doesn't work at all, and so now it's six and all hope for a good night is lost.

Animals. And a very spent garden which I haven't touched for days.

Breakfast. A little anxious, a lot sad. But, it's morning, I'm in my high energy mode insofar as you can be high energy on so little sleep.

I had made a list of all that I have to take today to the apartment, but mostly I have to hurry because Hector is coming at 9:30. Hector, I thought, would be putting together the night table, but in fact he is doing the bed. If and when he comes. (Meanwhile the coffee table lies waiting for my own construction effort. Someone on Amazon said it only took him one hour. Looking at it, I think he was bragging.)

Once more I've had filled grocery bags with the next load from the farmhouse. I have to use them, because I do not have enough boxes and what I have, has to be for stuff movers lug. 

I rush. I'm there at 9:29. There is no Hector. 

Now come the calls to Wayfair. Friendly people, but I get disconnected twice, maybe because I'm on the phone while riding the elevator and going to the garage to pick up those damn fragile grocery bags.

Just as I am about to give up on Hector and return to the farmhouse (because the groceries are to arrive soon, and in those bags there will be ice cream bars and it's 800 degrees today), he shows up. Look, I've been texting you! He has proof. I tell him -- sorry you're late, I have to go back to the farmhouse because there are groceries, can I leave you alone here? Just close the door when you leave without locking it. There is NOTHING of value here except the bed and I do not think anyone will take it out.

Luckily he is agreeable.

At the farm I pack up more bags, supplementing them with the occasional box. And here's another stumbling block: alcohol. I dont drink anymore but my supplies are substantial because I liked variety. Campari, Aperol, Vermouth. Cassis. Gin, Vodka, Prosecco. What the hell am I to do with all that? I decide to take them with me. Who knows, maybe I'll sink into desperation one day and open everything and sit out on the balcony and get one huge alcoholic buzz. (That would happen if, for example, I got diagnosed with cancer and found that I had only a month to live. Though maybe all that booze would just depress me? Still, I pack it up and take it. Maybe someone will invite me someday to a party and I'll come well equipped with presents.)

I also take my trio of succulents. So small last year, so big now! Should I transplant them? I have no idea. But the windows in the bedrooms actually have ledges and they are so sunny! Cacti, you are about to discover bliss!

Ed calls. They're still motoring because the winds are so low. That's a blow to him, as he hates motoring. The whole point of this was for him to hoist those sails and watch them ripple in the wind, while a salty spray of ocean water drenches his face, all this while the sky is ablaze with stars. He likes to take the night shift. But so far there has been no wind. Still, the crew is agreeable and smart, and today they sail through the Cape Cod straight and tomorrow they'll pass New York City. It must be a full circle for him: New York is where he first sailed with his dad. Lovely man, I hear. I'm sorry I never met him. 

And yes, it takes forever to again load the car and even longer to unload it. Once inside, I put away a few items, but not much. And yet I do think the place is coming together! Here's the bedroom, looking out at Old Sauk Trails park. 

p

Time to pick up Snowdrop at school.

 

We go to the farmhouse, even if it has to be a short visit. She will be the last child to come to the farmhouse while things are still normal. Wait, am I really calling this chaos "normal?" I hope she is not traumatized by it!

And then I drop her at her Girl Scout meeting. It's close to her home and so it's close to my apartment. I drive over and put together two lamps and throw away the wrappings from the bed. And I come back to this reality: I have less than 12 hours before the movers come... and the toys and kid books are not yet packed and neither are my clothes. The kitchen? Maybe half carted over already, because I do not want to pack up each single plate. I take all fourteen big ones and 15 smaller ones and put them in Sparrow's car seat and try hard not to swerve.  

It's going to be a very long night, but you know, all these days of no sleep have put me in such a daze, that it's all one big sleepwalk by now. 

Thank you for thinking of me!
 

with so much love...