What would Bush ads be like if this were Britain?

According to a recent CNN poll (here), the British fear spiders more than terrorism. Imagine, then, Bush campaign ads, focusing not on the fight to stamp out terrorists, but to stamp out spiders. In his words (though with my spiders):

GWB: America should lead with strength and confidence. Our great nation has to be strong. And safe. From spiders. We must lead in the march toward freedom. From spiders. Sadam knows and harbors spiders. He had the capability of attracting more spiders. The world is a better place without spiders. My opponent would have you believe that there are no spiders in Iraq. My opponent would cut funds for spider smashing. My opponent would enter multilateral negotiations about spiders. We need a strong America. We stand for a culture of life. Without spiders.

Sounds as credible as anything else we're hearing. Silly? Well, one person's fear is another person's malarkey. I'm sure the British are wondering why we're not attuned to the real dangers before us either (spiders, nuclear weapons).