Thursday, August 30, 2012


A warning appears on my inbox, even before the sun rises: beware of the record breaking heat today.

I’m aware and I beware.

I’m up early to prewater the more fragile plants, though I’m thinking – I should stop already. They’re nearly spent. I’m nearly spent. It’s not zen watering anymore, it’s time consuming and probably not very effective.

So maybe one last time? My babies:

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I do grocery shopping today and later, I’m back in town for this and for that. Ed has his own engagements and preoccupations and for the first time since I don’t know when we don’t even pause to have a morning meal together.

And maybe that’s the precipitous event that sends me sliding. Or maybe it’s that I haven't quite made the leap to a different kind of schedule. Or maybe it’s that we talk now of our next trip together and we are so not in sync as to the parameters and requirements of it that I think – uff! ...sometimes being so completely different from your occasional traveling companion-slash-landlord is a challenge.

Of course, the evening comes and we settle down for an easy meal of baguette and what not  (baguette from the farmer’s market today)...

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...and we watch the Convention, or at least I watch. Ed calls it as it really is – terribly boring and frustratingly uninformative and he threatens to go to sleep at 8 and so I turn it off and we face our differences over travel and he gives in a little and I tell him -- don't bother, just deal with me when I get good and sick roughing it in dangerous places and we grin a little and suddenly the evening is not so bad and we watch the tail end of a movie that really has no great merit but nor does it bore or bother either one of us.

Tomorrow he works and I work and it’s a whole new kettle of fish when we move into that world of deadlines and timelines (at least for me there are deadlines and timeline) and yet, I know that at the farmhouse, there is always this aura of calm and he buys into it and so do I. He asks today – so, you’d like, for fall, for winter, a space that’s warm, with windows on all sides? And I know we are not today or tomorrow going to construct a space that’s warm with windows on all sides, but I know, too, that he’s serious about putting it out there and I’m serious about turning off the convention and his rough hand catches mine and this is the way we are.

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(at the market today)