and then...

My puppy woke on the other side of the bed today. Well, in truth she woke from under the bed, but figuratively speaking, she definitely tried out a new path forward for this day. (If you wonder why she slept under the bed -- she is an interesting snoozer. Sometimes she sleeps in bed with me. Sometimes she sleeps on her lovely doggie bed. Sometimes she sleeps in her crate, door open. And sometimes she chooses to be under the bed. Talk about trying out different strategies for tackling the night!)

She waited patiently while I showered. 

She was very efficient during her morning walk.

Her breakfast was a little late. She did not complain.

Completely angelic during my breakfast.

After, we went to her yard. I needed to tackle that lilac. (We will omit that part where I struck a wire digging a big hole for it. No, I did not die. Yes, the digger's hotline had been called a couple of months back. No, I did not remember there being a wire in that spot. Yes, it is quite possible that I did not correctly remember the line placements. What, am I supposed to call the digger's hotline every time I get a new plant?) Millie did one or two runs, then settled to watch me from a shady spot. 

The lilac went in, I watered it. Millie did not bite the hose. 

Inside, she took a nice nap. I left her to it and went out to plant a few perennials at the side of the house -- a blind spot for her. She cannot see me there either from the porch or from her yard. I was out for maybe 45 minutes. Inside, she was awake, playing, not destructively. 

In the afternoon, I put her in the car, we picked up Ed and went to our local farmers market. Unlike the other ones around town, this one does not seem to object to dogs. People did the usual "she's so cute" thing. Millie did not shy away from the crowds. Just stood there and took it in.

Come evening, she barked to go outside. Of course, I did not catch that signal since she barks for about a thousand different reasons, but I should have -- she never barks face pointed to me. This time she did. So maybe?

Now, you'd think that surely my day had something significant in it. That Millie would not have been my sole focus the entire time from sunrise to bedtime. Yes, you'd think. But the fact is, I am stuck with her at home these days and though it has been a chore to limit myself so much, nonetheless, I think it's been good for us. She studies me, I study her. We are a team. A household. A family. A good one at that! We'll see what tomorrow will bring.

(porch flowers)

 

 

with so much love... 

seventh day

Okay Ms Millie, something has to give: I can take you outside to your little yard and I can work there while you gently play. But you cannot run like a dog possessed, and you cannot bark continuously every time a grass blade moves or a butterfly goes by. Or, you can stay in your crate for three hours, like you used to do, and I can get stuff done then, but that means no howling as if I was torturing you to death so that the neighbors would surely call Animal Rescue to, well, rescue you. Or, we can stay mostly inside (such gorgeous weather we're having this week!), but after I've given you your puzzle toy and you finished fishing out all the treats in it, you really have to amuse yourself in ways other than going upstairs to see what damage you could do there, behind my back. Or, you can decide that being 8 months old now, you are are going to act like a fully grown dog and not like an adolescent out to conquer the world with her newly acquired wisdom (which, may I remind you, isn't fully there yet, but you could try harder to reach for it this week when it's just you and me here at Steffi's House).

While we're on the subject of wisdom, let me remind you of the things you cannot do. You once knew all this quite well. Am I to assume you've forgotten? That the anesthesia brought about amnesia? Well now, here's my gentle reminder: no scratching madly at the couch cushions or the reading chair cushions. No nibbling on the rug edges. No going upstairs to relieve yourself. No taking off all the tags you can find -- pillows, cushions, anything. They're not digestible. And anyway, I dont want to find shreds of "100% cotton" around the house. No pulling at the threads of the brand new bath mat. The hole you made in it? Highly unattractive. When you're outside, do not look for wood chips. I know you're capable of finding them. I know that. But chewing on them is a real no-no. And dont dig little holes all over the yard. Dont eat the dirt that has fish emulsion sprinkled on it. And if I am using the hose, for darn's sake, do not bite on it because once you spring a leak, I may as well toss it out.

Should I continue?

Basically, Millie either needs to return to doggie day care or have her play at the dog park. (Which she cannot do or else dire things may happen in her abdomen.) She is a wildly energetic girl and doubling the Trazadone did nothing to calm her down. She wants to play, she needs to play. Or go for long runs. Or something.

We did have a lovely breakfast outside. It was so cool this morning that I wore a sweatshirt!

 

 

Immediately after I went out to Millie's yard to put in two roses and to remove all those pebbles I had put down around the plants. I had intended to also plant some perennials in the nearby fields, but Millie was so vocal this morning that I gave up on that idea. I dont yet have a neighbor on the other side of the fence to disturb, but I got very tired of saying "Millie, quiet. Good girl, quiet girl. No, don't bark at my sweatshirt, quiet! Good girl, quiet girl. No, dont sound off at the child on the bicycle five blocks away..." etc. 

Because I knew she needed a nap, we went inside and I crated her. I needed to go to the dumpster again and to pick up dirt at the farmette. Which, by the way, is in full bloom.

 

 

 

(I cleaned up a few of the spent lilies... couldn't help myself...)

 

 

(I pull out a few lily stems for Steffi's kitchen.)

 

 

I also picked up a lilac bush at K&A. This makes little sense as my focus has been on roses and finding a grand place for this "New Age" lilac (it's not going to be huge) is going to take some landscaping ingenuity. And a new hole will have to be dug out for it. Having labored over digging one out just this morning, I do not look forward to a repetition of whacking away at clay and stone. Still, the lilac went into my car, only adding to my stress about time that I do not have for planting. It will be beautiful next string and it is powdery mildew resistant (hence the "new agedness"), but still, when will I have a day for planting?

I have to wonder what working folks do. Millie has me housebound. Inconvenient but doable. Most people dont have that luxury. 

In the afternoon, I open the front door to the porch and try to do some work just outside, where she can see me. 

And then I pick up this child, who is pretty much my height, so calling her a child seems so... wrong. And yet...

                  

("what are you reading?")

 

And then I return to my adolescent Millie, who certainly is behaving like a child these days. She's allowed. She's cycling through the canine growth stages. I'll probably survive!

with so much love... 

 

don't tell any one but...

My dog is not following doctor's orders.

I made a mistake in the way I planted several of the roses.

The cake I baked today was so delicious and so easy that I am going to give it my highest recommendation, but if you bake it, dont tell anyone how easy it is. You may as well get credit for being a fine baker.

I scotch-taped a piece of original art to a frame. 

I asked AI about the ending to Dear Child and had a conversation about every new development so that I would know what to expect with each gruesome episode. 

I'm sure I can add to this list as the day progresses, because the reality is that we all stumble along doing things that others may find to be horribly impulsive, careless, silly, perhaps not in the best interest of humanity (or your dog). That's just the way it is. You try your best and adjust as you go along.

 

This morning, my breakfast friends are to come to Steffi's House. I am eager to have them here. So far only family and Ed's friends have stepped inside (hard to believe, but I've only lived here for 2.5 weeks). Oh, and the Russian repair person. And I've done a ton of work here, especially outside. My friends are always appreciative of my efforts and though I really don't look for compliments, I do love it when people notice. That's all. Just notice. 

However, given my planting mania and Millie's stay-at-home week, I did not have the energy nor time to do any advance prep for the meal. We set 9 a.m. for their arrival and I have done nothing except think about what to serve and order a nice pot on Amazon last night that is to be delivered this morning between 5 and 7 a.m. And it is delivered, and it is beautiful -- an enameled cast iron pan that is an upgrade over the inexpensive Lodge cast iron pans that we all have, the ones that love to rust and cant ever be seasoned enough.

I shower, walk and feed Millie, water my back yard roses, and tomatoes, and planter, and get to work.

The point is -- I dont have that much time. On the menu? A frittata with seasonal veggies and a cake.

And you know what? It all gets done, no problem.  Well, it's thanks to the cake. I decided to do the recipe that perhaps you read about in the NYTimes this week -- their "Original Plum Torte" by Marian Burros. There is a whole backstory behind it, but the upshot is that they have been printing this recipe every year in the summer since 1983. And it consistently gets 5 stars. Why not, I thought. Reading through it I saw that it was incredibly easy. And though there's no way I will find cute little purple plums in my grocery store and especially in mid-July, I picked up a combo of cherry red plums and the bigger so called black plums and they work beautifully!

And the frittata? For this I used my beautiful new pan. Eggs, cheese, and a mixture of sauteed mushrooms, peas, and spinach. Oh, and I threw in some little tomatoes from my bushes. The peas gave it a thoroughly summer taste. Honestly, it was lovely and good and I take no credit for it because again, it's just not that hard to make an exceptionally good frittata.

Millie decided to be calm for the visit. And it was one of our longer "breakfasts."

Lots to review, to update, to speculate about.

 

 

 

 

 

This means that when my friends left, Millie had plenty of energy. I went out to water some of the roses and though I told her to stay calm and I had her on Trazadone, the pup went hog wild with the joy of being outside. Definiteyl NOT what the doctor ordered. I had to call the clinic and ask -- how do I keep my dog from being exuberant and they told me to up her meds! Well okay, but I'll do that reluctantly. I love her feeling of joy.

As for the roses -- one of them died and I sent a photo of it tot he company. They give refunds. But I also got a comment from their horticulturist. Something to the effect -- "pebbles at the base may look pretty but they are wrong for roses. They trap heat and may seep stuff into the soil." But inside the fenced area, I do not use them because they look pretty! Indeed, I rather dislike them because grass pushes through and unlike with bark, it's hard to pull out. But I use them because Millie loves to eat bark mulch and I honestly do not think it's good for her. A real choking hazard for one thing. (She tried eating the pebbles too but gave up after one or two attempts. Thank goodness!) But, I care about my roses, so my next task is to remove all the pebbles and use their recommended Mint Compost. Maybe Millie will reject it and in any case, it wont kill her. Some people even recommend it as a breath freshener (not that my pup has bad breath...).

I water the front garden as Millie sits and watches from the porch. 

 

 

 

That worked! 

 

 

 

Planting is more difficult. I'll figure that one out tomorrow. This afternoon, I'm scheduled to pick up this girl!

Her dream realized! Purple hair. What, you can't tell? This photo is clearer:

 

 

 

Very purple. Well, she deserves it. She patiently waited until after the Poland trip and she really was a star (as they all were) during that momentous adventure.

Later, I pick up a package that came to my front door. With this on it:

 

 

 Inside, a sheet with a lot of text in Cyrillic script. And this (I added the frame):

 

 

It's small. Painted on a piece of cardboard. By a woman living in the war torn country of the Ukraine. It traveled in this way: from Kyiv to Lviv. From Lviv to Warsaw. From Warsaw to New York. From New York to New Jersey. From New Jersey to Illinois. From Illinois finally to Wisconsin. All in 10 days. I can't even imagine how the first legs of its journey took place. Seems so frivolous, doesn't it? To buy a small painting from a war zone. And yet, the woman who painted it depends on income from her art. I'm sure she cannot sell it in her own home country right now.

 

In the evening, Ed comes over for a piece of frittata and plum cake.

And so passes another beautiful day, with better air quality, cooler temperatures and, importantly, so much good feeling and warmth, of the inside-your-stomach kind.

with so much love... 

 

wild

This isn't specific to Millie. I've seen it in other dogs. At around 8 months, just when spayed, instead of nicely settling into adulthood, your pup goes hog wild with a burst of energy you think properly belongs to sheep herding canines. Say what? -- you're thinking. What ever possessed you to go upstairs and start chewing on a kid book behind my back? Downstairs again, you hear a carpet being moved about. Millie? Is that you? -- as you look over and see her picking up the edges of your Turkish rug to see if little pup teeth could possibly undo the complicated weave.

Millie is on meds to keep her calm in this post-operative period. They're not working. She wants to be outside running. She wants to go up to other dogs and sniff their butts. She wants active play! Zoomie time! Over the couch and around the corner and away she goes! And she finds ways to get my attention. Negative attention to be sure, but anything is fine to spark up her day. My once velcro pup has discovered that she can keep an eye on me through the stair rails from upstairs.

I follow her up. She looks at me expectantly. Haha! You know I always go upstairs if I want to have "an accident!" Oh Millie... 

Whatever happened to that quiet, morning nap?? 

Breakfast. Mine, inside. Air is unhealthy.  Millie, you already ate!

 

 

I tell her to follow a treat into the crate.  Which, to her credit, she does. But when I close her door and step outside to do some planting, I hear her unhappy cries and barks. I give it half an hour. She doesn't let up. I put down the shovel and go back in.

But here's a great gift for me: Ed agrees that the air is "good enough" to do some work outside. He offers to come over with his pick-axe and dig out some holes for a few roses (the soil is that bad!). This is superbly helpful. I take Millie out with us and tie her down (to the hose). Ed breaks up the soil, I carry buckets of it out toward the vacant lot. (How would have I planted my garden without that lot? I've offloaded hundreds of bucketfuls of clay and rock there.) We then move inside the fenced area. More holes. And while we're at it, he does a big one for my potted lilac (which will be much happier in the ground).

Definitely my hero today! It would have taken me many days to work a shovel into that hard clay. I put in just one rose -- the rest are still sitting somewhere waiting for transport.

Yes, I am a complete rose enthusiast this year. I've planted a few before, but it was always in an off-hand manner. Not only where they completely wrong for farmette fields, too, I'd always held that prevailing belief that roses require too much intervention. Disease, pests, beetles -- all of it. I don't want fussy flowers. I have enough work with unfussy ones. But of course, the world of roses has changed dramatically in recent decades. Much of the change we owe to David Austin -- the British rose guy who successfully bred the goldendoodle of roses. One after another. (Just like the goldendoodle or other poodle combos give us smart, affectionate dogs, which is what most people want at home, so too David Austin roses bring together what gardeners love: bushes that are disease resistant and importantly -- that offer a repeat bloom all summer long. Some never stop, some come in waves. But they do promise flowers way past the typical June rose season. (Very sorry to hear that the next generation head -- David Austin's son, died today. David senior had lived til he was 92. His son was not so lucky. Happy to hear that the family -- he had three children -- will keep the business running anyway. Such a legacy the Austin Davids have left for all of us!)

I've read a lot about these roses -- the floribundas, the climbers, and I've looked at hundreds of photos from greenhouses. There are flower shapes (for example "cupped") that are nothing short of enchanting. I have studied the colors too -- initially drawn to the vibrant ones, I am now convinced that the most beautiful are the pastels. Soft tones of pink and orange. 

Roses do require patience in that they really need time to develop their full potential. Years of time. I splurged on a couple of three year old ones, but I haven't the budget for more of those. No matter. I'm old but not that old. I'll probably live to see all of them bloom their heads off! Gardeners are by nature optimistic. We always believe that the result of our efforts will be stunning and will improve the landscape considerably -- for us, for others too. 

In the evening I leave Millie for just a few minutes. Ed is out and he needs my help to put away the chickens. At this sunset hour, the flowers are always at their finest. 

 

 

 

That's true in Steffi's House as well, only Steffi's flowers are still babies. 

 

 

 We'll see how this all comes together by summer's end (here's that hopeful optimism again).

with so much love...

it's like being stuck at home with the flu

Yes, the air quality deteriorated and we are back at Very Unhealthy. Between that and Millie's continued anxiety if I step out of the house, I tell you, life has become very indoorsy for me. At the same time that I have ideas for the outside! Work to do! Flowers to move! Holes to dig! 

("why cant we go out??")

Well no matter. People have it worse. Try living in hot Cuba without much electricity right now. Or for that matter, closer to home -- in Ontario or any number of places in the US where fires are threatening homes. 

I eat a very lovely breakfast on the couch.

 

 

 

I do test the girl (to see if she will protest my exit) while she is settling for a nap. I want to take out that monstrous hibiscus from the front garden. (After that, only one more true lily to take out and give away and I will have basically cleaned out all that my sod remover planted in the corner. Well, except for the couple of day lilies, salvias and irises which were put in as per my request. And the creeping phlox at the edge which is never a bad idea only I wish it were strawberry and cream. Fussy? Well yes: if you care about gardens as much as I do, you're going to be very fussy.)  

The plan is for me to put in another rose bush in the place of the hibiscus (and donate the hibiscus to my daughter who likes "warm" flowers). I think about what to put at the feet of that rose. You can feed AI anything these days, including what ideas it may have for comparability with an orange pink blush rose. It's crazy how much you can ask that non-human fake brain. Just now I typed in "when will this putrid air finally move out of Madison Wisconsin." AI is always cheerful and positive and it responded -- "a cold front and incoming thunderstorms late Monday afternoon to bring the much-needed clearing, ushering in fresher and cooler air." Then it mildly scolded me for using the word putrid (putting it in italics as if to mock me), and reminded me that I should be interested in Fitchburg and perhaps not just Madison. (It hints that it damn well knows where I live so I needn't pretend I'm from Madison.)

I venture out again (very briefly!) in the late afternoon -- to get some rose fertilizer and blue plants (nepetas, a lavender -- stuff like that) which, to my mind, are the best match for a rose. I choose to ignore all those YouTubers who push the idea of Lady's Mantle, which I always thought was a shade plant and obviously roses do not like shade. But perhaps I'm providing too much detail here. Most of you aren't going to grow roses. This is what happens when you are housebound and get carried away with a project.

 

 

 

In the evening Ed and the young family come to dinner. No pickle ball for Ed. And not much summer play for the kids either. The heat typically gives them the local pool. This air means stay inside and read a book. It very much reminds me of a winter without snow, only you wear a mask and not a cap and gloves.

 

 

The kids have been warned not to engage Millie in lively play. Of course, Millie is no wilting flower right now, but I fed her a nice dose of trazodone, so she is reasonably placid. And so were they.

Let's hope they have some solid rains up north in the next days. And while they're at it, maybe they could send us a sprinkle or two. A drought, hazy air -- I suppose when I was a kid and lived in New York City, the air was always heavy and the skies were never brilliantly blue. And we did not wear masks. And the AC was loud and it rattled the apartment and you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. Such easier times for us now. Still, let's hope for rain and better air.

with so much love... 

a break

South central Wisconsin gets a break from "very unhealthy," and even "unhealthy" air. By mid morning, we put "unhealthy for sensitive groups," and then "moderate" behind us, and hit "good!" I realize that this may change as destructive fires are still burning up north, but Millie and I are grateful for the break. Our breakfast out he porch? It lasts well over an hour.

(a few minutes of lap time)

 

 

 (what's blooming on the Steffi porch...)

 

 

Millie's incision is still bothering her -- she whimpers initially this morning. But then her meds kick in and she is like her old self. Indeed, too much so. I'm to walk her only for quick bathroom breaks. When I dropped the leash to turn off the hose -- something that is usually risk free as she always stays by my side, not being a squirrel chaser or especially outgoing toward strangers or their dogs -- this time she does a mad zoomie run around me, clearly enjoying her leash-free existence. (I discuss this with the clinic -- they suggest calming meds, as the girl really needs to abandon her friskiness for the next ten days.) 

I dont have the heart to leave her alone quite yet (except briefly, say to put in a plant!) but at the same time, I do believe she is feeling a little housebound. There's only so much excitement her raggedy or chewy toys can bring her. I schedule a lunch with Ed at Tati's. It requires of her a quietness and stillness, but at the same time it offers visual stimulation. (It's a shame she's indifferent to the TV set -- I could see us binge watching suspense series, or even canine movies. Unfortunately, she gives the set a glance and moves on to see what else in life is interesting and perhaps a bit more challenging, not realizing that there's wonder in doing nothing more than staring at the screen.)

(a tilted selfie)

On the way home, we stop by the farmette -- I have more compost to dump there. And of course, the lilies are breathtakingly beautiful. I snip off a few spent flowers, trying to hold back that feeling of wanting to fix something that just isn't under my care anymore. 

 

(nymphs and shepherds...) 

 

Now that the smog has lifted (at least temporarily), I'm itching to go outside at Steffi's House and Garden.  I have some more ideas -- endless ideas, because, well, this place has so much potential still!

It was a welcome reprieve. I know people who are dealing with the fires on a more personal level (instead of just the residual smoke) have so much more to worry about, still it was tough to go through a day of such smoke. Today, the skies looked beautiful again.

 

with so much love...

 

 

disappointment

Summer is fabulous. I love it, we love it, for the beauty, fun, joy, pleasure of being outside. Summer brings us close to nature. We need it to sustain us in the months when being close to nature is difficult, drab, unpleasant. At the farmette, summer was a little spoiled by the mosquito infestation. Deer flies as well, but really, it was the mosquitoes that almost forced us to move to a better location. They really affected out outdoor time.

At Steffi's House and Garden, mosquitoes are not an issue. Yes, you'll feel them at dusk, in very modest amounts. I can spend hours outside and not be bothered at all by biting bugs. 

But now we have the wildfire smoke. We had it last year too and it was awful. I blocked it from my memory. This year it's worse. Hard not to face the fact that suddenly outdoor time has been cut short. 

The garden is planted, so working out there is purely for maintenance, and plant adjustments. And watering, because we are in the thick of a very long dry spell. But of course, this is the time where we reap the joy of being among plants. Of breathing in their fragrance. This is when you take longer bike rides too. Morning walks along paths that lead you through prairie land popping with the colors of cone flowers, into forests with that gentle sway of heavily leafed branches, providing shade on a warm day. 

All of it has suddenly been taken away from us. And yes, I understand that for many this isn't just a question of pleasure. Kids go to camps. Adults go in and out all the time. Many work outside. Dogs need to be walked and they cannot wear masks. 

So go ahead and tell me that mitigating climate change is a bunch of hyped up liberal nonsense. I dare you. I may punch back at that one. I really may. (Or, go ahead and blame Canada. Always easy to point a finger at someone else. As if we ourselves have done "all we can" to arrest the overheating of our planet.)

 

Millie slept well and though she is very very far from being herself, her post-surgery slump is sweetly affectionate. It's hard to understand why dogs trust their humans so wholeheartedly, no matter what. I caused all this pain by taking her to the vet. The vet made her miserable: coming out she was (in terms of pain) far worse off than going in. And yet she completely believes that I am there to love her and care for her. That I am the one that makes it better, not worse. 

 

 

 

I eat breakfast inside. Of course I do. 

 

 

The porch is basically off limits except for necessary watering and of course, I need a mask for that. I already have the longest post-cold lingering respiratory stuff known to human-kind, I don't need to make it worse. 

Millie is on meds that make her a bit lethargic so it's not too difficult to crate her. I need to move one plant and water the tomato pots and cedar planter. I do it hurriedly and without great joy. The air is that bad. We are currently in the VERY unhealthy range -- first time ever for our location in south-central Wisconsin. And no, it doesn't make me feel any better to know that Pennsylvania has it far worse -- they're past the "hazardous" (meaning deadly) range. I didn't even know there was a post-hazardous point. What could be worse than deadly? 

 

The day is spent Minding Millie. I suppose that should be the title for the next ten days. 

 

 

 

I do keep an eye on her just so we can avoid the whole cone around her head thing. And frankly, she strives to be always within petting range. Whereas before, slinking under the couch was her place to exhale, now she is on the couch with me, asking openly for a cheek rub or a gentle cuddle. You have to feel sorry for the sweet girl. Dogs don't get explanations, nor do they understand time. "This will pass" is meaningless not only because they don't speak our language. There is no later. There is only now.

(girls in pink)

I use this opportunity to rest up. Weeks of craziness are catching up with me and in the absence of more physical labor today, I feel... tired. (Working takes your mind off of fatigue.) I doze off. I wake up and read. Reclining positions are very appealing. For her and for me. And I finally decide to buy soaker hoses. The weather forecast shows no rain in sight for days (weeks?) on end. I dont want to have to water by hand Steffi's Garden every day. At least not all of it.

 

In the evening I cook, Ed comes over, we watch our British farming show. There you have it -- an indoor day if I ever saw one. In July no less. On the upside, Millie is delighted to have me on the couch for long stretches of time. Within eyesight. No effort required to track me. She's not disappointed!

with so much love... 

just made it!

Most of my heavy lifting and energetic digging is complete for this year. This is a relief as we are one of the many states affected by the Canadian fires. Our air is thick with smoke. Worse than I ever experienced here (though we can't complain: some parts of the country are far worse off than we are. We are just "unhealthy," which is better than "very unhealthy" (Madison) or  "hazardous" (Chicago, Milwaukee, all of Michigan). "Hazardous" they say can kill you. Ours would be more like a punch in the gut I suppose. 

It is fortuitous that most of us vulnerables do have a mask supply. I went out with Millie in the morning without one and immediately regretted it. All subsequent outdoor time was with mask in place.

(sunlight through a thick haze)

 

 

It was not your typical morning in any event. Since Millie is scheduled for morning surgery, she is not allowed food. How do I explain this to her? I eat, she doesn't? "Doctor's orders" is not within her vocabulary. I don't take my granola bowl outside. And since I have to deliver her to the clinic early, it's all rather rushed. On a tray. Inside.

Millie thinks we should be out on the porch. Why am I wrecking her routines?!

 

I try to act normal. We're going to see the vet! -- I say excitedly. She looks puzzled. Is this a good thing? She's doubtful. 

By 8 we are at the clinic. My pup is shaking in my arms. I ask -- can't she have something to calm her down?! I act as if a dog has never come into their offices with apprehension. 

Millie is lucky in that she is patient number 1 today. I keep the phone by my side just in case and then I grocery shop (on the belief that I will be housebound in the immediate future). 

Driving home, I stop by the farmette to pick up more soil. I have nothing to plant at the moment, but it's good to have a bucketful for when a new plant makes a magical appearance because Nina could not resist a stop at K&A.  While at the farmette, I pause. It's the peak day for the lilies. And they are so vigorous, no plentiful even without my care, my weeding, and without any watering at all, they take your breath away! I take a few photos...

I have that wistfulness that comes when you look back at decisions you've made. Should have I stayed? Cleaned up, the flower fields would look better than ever before. 

Of course, you dont decide where your home will be based on a day of great lily beauty. Steffi's Garden has a way to go, but I surely worked as hard at in it as I did at the farmette and still it was easier -- I wasn't at war with endless weeds, mosquitoes, excessive shade. If I have failed plantings, I can replace them and try again. At the farmette, I really believed I was eventually going to lose that war. So much there that I could not fix. So no, I don't wish I had been there to help this garden of great beauty along. Still, that feeling of wistfulness is strong!

I bring just a few lily stems home with me.

 

Are you wondering about the clay jug (above)? That's an olla pot that came with the cedar planter. I thought I knew all the garden paraphernalia out there, but this one was new for me. Apparently you bury it in the planter and keep pouring water into it and that water seeps out and keeps the soil perfectly moist throughout. You just need to keep filling the pot  -- it does the work for you. (We speculated yesterday if there was any benefit to it, since it can't be a whole lot easier to pour water into the jug rather than sprinkling it over the planter. Still, it appears that these pots have been around (so they say) for 5000 years.There must be in some way be a benefit to them. I put it in, because it came with the planter. I'll let you know how great it is to work with.

Despite the smog, I do work outside for a couple of hours. With a mask of course. I plant my peas and basil and the olla pot..

And I water. Everything. It's hot again and there is no promise of rain in sight.

I also call the realtor selling the newly built house next door and ask her to please convey my sincere pleadings to stop flooding my yard and killing my roses with the constant sprinkling of their grasses. i understand new sod needs constant watering, but it all flows to my yard and Millie comes in from her outdoor play with a muddied coat. And two of my rose bushes are not surviving the deluge of water that cannot drain well given the clay soil under their roots. I'm told they'd cut back. Let's hope.

 

A break! a coffee at Tati's with a friend -- a former student; obviously many years have passed. It's impressive what professional paths these smart people have followed. She was a public defender, a judge, a mother. An activist. A concerned citizen. You don't know this about the people sitting behind long tables in class. All you know is that they work hard (most of them do anyway!) and have ambitions. Some are on their second or third career paths. You dont know any of it. And for most, you'll never learn their stories. But there are some who never quite step out of your field of vision and some who you actually encounter again and start a new kind of conversation. 

 

I finish watering just as it's time to pick up my pup She did "really well," which I suppose means she slept through the whole thing without giving them any trouble, and she did not bleed to death. I had brought in a onesie for her and she was carried out to my waiting arms in that onesie, looking so much like a vulnerable newborn! They also gave me a cone of shame to wrap around her head when "your eyes aren't on her." I do not understand how dogs can exist in that huge piece of plastic so I nodded, but then put it aside, opting for "keeping my eyes on her" all the time. 

 

(reluctant to move...)

 

Millie naps much of the afternoon and evening. When she is awake, I'm there to redirect her if her snout goes toward her wound. So far we haven't had to use the cone around her head, but this is only the first day. We have nine to go.

with so much love...