new normal

Can you believe it, I almost have a routine going here! Well, almost. Every since last night's gate-chair-weights crash (when Sadey, my new rescue, attempted to get out of her enclosure), my pooch hasn't tried to work the fence. This means I can leave her in the room without crating, giving her a choice where to sleep (there is a new doggie bed that she actually loves) and where to hang out. Henry is still watchful, but their sniffs are friendly and they pass each other as I walk each in turn, and there is no fuss, no rebellion.

So, the morning is quite established: He walks, she walks, he eats, she eats, I eat. We all rest (well, they do; I tackle those chores that have been sitting on my list untouched for far too long), then repeat walks, then I'm off with Henry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's not yet time for doggie daycare. He has his quarterly bath and nail trim appointment first. Call me a coward, but I do not like to trim dog nails -- I'm always concerned that I'll hit the vein and make them bleed. Besides, Henry gets plenty dirty in his hours of play, inside and out. The grooming takes place in a pet place right next to a coffee shop and this gives me an hour of luxury, with my my milky coffee and a treat of choice. My big concern of the hour is which bread product to have along with my coffee.

I pick up a squeaky clean Henry.

It's not that he is getting used to these visits (this is his third), but they tell me that he no longer feels terrified. Instead, he's one of those clients who chats the whole grooming session long. I guess he needed to complain about the changes in his life in recent days. 

My nicely groomed dog then goes to doggie daycare so that he can play in the muddy wet yard there.  

 

At home, Sadey gets her freedom and I read. I force myself to put away my delicious novel, to read instead a couple of edicts on the subject of managing multiple dogs, and then, too, on the subject of resource guarding -- the squabbling point for Sadey and Henry. The two books I have are supposed to offer clever suggestions. I should have read up on this earlier of course. What do I know about having multiple dogs in my house! One book is titled "Feeling Outnumbered? How to Manage and Enjoy Your Multi-dog Household." I heard the author on NPR yesterday (she happens to be a Wisconsin dog specialist), and she surely has the credentials to offer authoritative advice. It's a quick read -- I zipped through it in a couple of hours. The second just popped into my feed and it's called "Mine! A Practical Guide to Resource Guarding in Dogs." I read this one quickly as well and found it to be basically worthless, as it deconstructed the issues surrounding resource guarding directed at humans. Neither Henry not Sadey have any problem with me fingering their food while they're eating, or sharing space or toys with me!

One quick and easy suggestion from the author of the first book is to give your pack one name, so that when you want both to pay attention, you call out not Henry, not Sadey, but...whatever name you choose for the both. I find calling these big giants "Puppies" to be amusing, so that's what they shall be. I want their attention, I call out "Hey Puppies!" 

(here's the stay-at-home pup)

 

 

In the afternoon, Ed and I both go out with Sadey to the park. Not the dog park -- I'm not sure that one is good for her. at this juncture Yes, the exercise surely is a win. But she is not yet paying attention to me enough to come when called. I'd be leashing her when she's ready, not when I am. Too, she does not need the dog stimulation in such a free for all setting. She's still recovering from the trauma of the long transfer. So, it's the county park, on leash.

Ed tells me that she does all the work for me in the hike -- she pulls that hard today. I think it's the opposite: restraining her takes effort. My upper body muscles are getting a workout.

Back home, I think about all that I've learned about her and all that I have yet to learn. Sadey doesn't take restful breaks nearly as often as Henry does. His may not last long, but they're frequent. This girl just keeps going. We come back from the hike (which followed hours of play at home), and she hits the toys again. Is it stamina, or is it that she still hasn't the ability to let go and relax? At least she isn't leaping from one piece of furniture to the next (like yesterday), though she still can jump a mile to get to me on the couch!  

 

And then I bring Henry back home and the whining at being closed off begins, but peace continues to prevail.Yes, the hope is that this will be the new normal. For a while!

with so much love... 

keeping it together

On meticulously scheduled days you just have to hope that there will be no surprises. And indeed, I do believe some pieces are falling into place. Potty breaks for Sadey, the new rescue, are getting to be more reliable. And there was no mess to come down to this morning.

She is still more difficult to photograph -- wont stand still! -- so here's just Henry on his morning walk: 

 

The key here is that after a day of freedom (while Henry was at doggie daycare yesterday), Sadey's interest in staying behind a gate is very low. She has figured out how to push the gate open just enough to squeeze through. I'm actually  installing a different gate later today, hoping it will work better, but I have no reason to think that she wont outsmart that one as well.  And frankly, I dont think the two dogs are ready to get along just yet. It's the resource guarding thing. She will surely find something of his and it will set him off. I dont trust them to be agreeable on that front. I'm sensing an edge there still, as he takes his toys and chews them just by her gate, as if victoriously claiming ownership, and as she devours every chew as if this was a case of use it or lose it. If there are to be unpleasant surprises this week, I expect they will be on this front: she'll free herself and go straight for his stuff. (The training director had asked -- is she an Alpha Bitch? I have to say -- I don't know. She very well might be.)

We eat breakfast. And really, I fix it for five, because today I resume childcare and each of the two big kids gets his and her special fruit bowl. The dogs get... dog food. I'm into the store bought muesli. 

I have quite the day today. Henry's daycare is about as far as you can get from where I live. I need to stop at the grocery store. I have to dump the compost bucket at the farmette. Ed needs a haircut and a beard trim. I have to give Sadey her dose of daily exercise. I absolutely must submit a house check to the management company and this one requires me taking photos of EVERYTHING, down to the last door knob. What a pain! I have a doc appointment. I have pickups of kid one, then kid two. I'm to bring them to Sally's House, where Sadey will have spent the day. Then back to their house in time for me to pick up Henry before they shut down doggie daycare for the day and leave him in the gutter (they wont really do that, but I surely dont want to leave him there until the very last minute!) Before and after and in between there are the potty walks. It's that kind of a day!

So, were there any surprises? 

When I came home from the errand run and let Sadey loose (after a potty walk of course), she is happy, and she is wild! I had to smile at the rescue description where they said she'd passed the teenage crazies. She moved furniture with her exuberance! That girl can leap! Eventually she did settle down with Henry's toys, only underscoring the importance of toys to these dogs. What if they cannot share? 

(Sadey was described to me as a "medium" dog. I would not say that she is a "medium" dog. Henry has longer legs and a longer back, but she fills the couch quite well too.)

 

 

Here are some more surprises: I pick up happy kids, first one, then the next...

And I tell them this afternoon will be a little different because Sadey is home but Henry is not. Sadey has been crated from 12:45 until 4:15 because of the doc visit and the two pick ups. So, 3.5 hours. When we come home, I quickly take her out and then let her loose in the house. She is exuberant! Like a torpedo!Thrilled to be out! And, quite honestly, more energetic than either Goose or Henry. She leaps onto the couch from a mile away, She crashes into one kid then the next. They love it, though Sparrow has to brace himself for her weight. She does calm a little after about a 15 minute zoomie spin and I do get in some reading, but I have to say, she is something else! Snowdrop said with a big chuckle -- we definitely have the easier dog!  

 

("medium" dog my foot!) 

 

The new gate arrived and I quickly put it together, but the screws were too stiff to twist in fully. Ed offers to come over later and tighten them. In the meantime, I am happy to put it up, loose screws and all, instead of the toddler fence that wobbled every time you blew on it. 

However. After I dropped the kids at home and picked up Henry (and potty walked both dogs), Ed is here to tighten the latches (I swear, Henry has a total crush on this guy)...  

 

 

... and I began to fix the three suppers, I hear a racket and I see Sadey walking proudly into the kitchen. So I stack up the chairs against this heavier gate. Fifteen minutes later she is out again. I put weights on the chairs and wedge them into the fence. She's out within ten. But the last escape rattled the stacked up chairs so much that Sadey got completely terrified. She stood in the kitchen shaking like a human facing a firing squad. She wouldn't move in any direction. I picked her up, all 60 pounds of dog, and carried her to the door. I managed to leash both dogs and we went out for an evening walk to calm everyone down. And (surprisingly!) it was a lovely walk. Both dogs walked shoulder to shoulder, relaxing with each step. They did their stuff, and by the end of it, Sadey's tail was back up. Still, I had to drag her into her room. I doubt that she will try to escape tonight again.

Oh, Sadey!

Oh, Henry! Oh, pooches everywhere!

with so much love... 

 

work in progress

Having gone through the first weeks with Henry -- another rescue dog from Texas -- in total learning mode, I am much more prepared for the vicissitudes and behavioral twists and turns that the first days (weeks?) with Sadey may bring. I know that the adjustments are huge -- for the dog and for you. Made bigger by there being the firstborn, as it were (though Henry is actually a year younger than Sadey). When my second daughter was born, I said (over and over) -- no one prepared me for the fact that with the second child, you actually get three relationships that you must learn to manage deftly: there's each child, individually, and then there is the two of them together. And now I'm just repeating myself -- there's Henry, there's Sadey and then there's how they are together. 

But the shock is far lesser than when Henry first came to live with me. That firstborn is always the biggest jolt. The rest -- well, you take it in stride. You're a pro now, right? 

Henry spent half the night downstairs by the gate, with Sadey on the other side, and the second half upstairs in his bed. I'm going to guess that it is when he went upstairs that Sadey soiled the downstairs carpet in her room. The anxiety of suddenly being alone. Or, she just has an upset tummy. Probably both.

My first order of operations then -- cleaning the carpet. Then walking dog number one...

Then number two...

I feel that I have a routine in place: feed dog number one, then number two, then myself.

Each day this week has a unique schedule. Many moving pieces that need careful coordination. Today I have my monthly cleaning service arriving at 10-ish. The house doesn't need a cleaning, but you cant just cancel at your pleasure. Monthly means monthly. I take Henry to doggie daycare and in dropping him off, I chat to Aimee, the director of their dog training programs. She does warn me that if my two fought over a toy, it could be that they can never play with toys in each others presence. I hope that's not the case. Henry has never been possessive with Goose. I know this is a different set up now, but I am very much hoping that after a period of adjustment, they'll reach a compromise. Toys keep both dogs stimulated. Of course, I can put up the gate and give them toys then, but my oh my, would I like not to go that route! 

Driving home, I think about where to take Sadey for the 90 minutes that the cleaning crew may claim. Maybe I can play with her a little before they arrive?

No I can't. In my absence, she had another upset tummy or anxiety-related accident. Out comes the carpet cleaner once again! I barely finish taking care of the mess before the crew arrives.

 

It's one of those rare drop-dead gorgeous February days. Normally we're so sick of winter by now that something akin to February depression sets in. But today is fabulous, so my time with Sadey is easily spent in our local park. Time to start learning her walking habits and to begin a modest training program. She seems to me to be one of those dogs that's got lots of street smarts, but is less attuned to people signals. She's affectionate, wants to please, but just doesn't (yet) know how. The walk is a good introduction to her -- much better than a stroll in the neighborhood where half the homeowners have signs asking you to please keep your pets off their lawn, and the other half have pooped-up grass strips. I've never seen such carelessness in a residential neighborhood. Is it that I'm in a block with lots of rentals? At the Edge, they threatened you with a $300 fine if they matched the pet litter with your dog. Here, there are lots of dogs and quite a lot of disregard for city pet waste ordinances. But in the park, it's glorious! Sadey sniffs everything! (She is also much more difficult to photograph, because unlike Henry, who majestically stands still to take it all in, this girl is constantly on the move.)

We have a splendid walk.

At home, I feel confident enough to take down the gate for now. I'll crate her when I have to go out. She may not be potty trained well, but she is fantastically at home in her crate, making it far far easier to go about my day with her here.

It feels strange to pamper and love each dog without the other there. It's like I'm cheating on one of them! And yet, here I am with Sadey, who is calm as can be, playing with Henry's toys. They're still exciting for her. All new. I probably should wash them before Henry comes home and realizes his box of toys has been raided!

Ed comes over for the afternoon. Sadey shows her one people anxiety: tall men. At least Henry is indiscriminate -- he hates first introductions with any gender, any height. Goose and Sadey are the classic rescues that fear masculinity in humans. 

As is his style, Ed ignores her. With Henry, it took no time at all for my pooch to warm up to him. With Goose? One long bark-filled visit. With Sadey? Somewhere in between the two. Ed sits, she's okay. Ed stands, she's on alert.  I stand next to him -- better. 

And Sadey shares this with Henry: someone passes by the house or comes toward the door -- she barks. She would not be a candidate for the Edge!

Evening. I'm following a routine. I had no kids today so it's easy: Walk Sadey, crate her. Drive to get Henry, bring him home, walk him, take him inside. Then walk Sadey again. For equality's sake.  Feed one, feed two, feed me. Henry wants to go out again. Weird, but hey, it's easy: no elevators. We walk briefly, come inside. Sadey! What are you doing on the wrong side of the gate?? It's not pushed open. Did she take a leap over it? Must have. Damn it. I line it with chairs with high backs, making the house look cluttered and clunky. 

Henry still naps by the gate. And I dont know why: to protect her? Or to protect us from her? A canine mystery! There are so many of them. And I;m sure I'll discover more tomorrow.

with so much love... 

figuring it out

 As a parent, you try hard not to give labels to your kids. "Math is not your forte!" "You're such a whiner!" "You are shy" -- words to avoid. The same principle applies to the pets in your life and yet, here I am, convinced that Henry is the more challenging canine and Sadey is a breeze. It's not that I haven't good reasons for the labels, but keeping an open mind allows you to see where the labels just don't fit.

For example, Henry is far easier to take out for a potty run. He does his stuff quickly. Unless there's a mouse scent or a squirrel movement or a strange human, he does not pull. I've not bothered with the harness lately because he is just so good out there. And in the morning and evening-- it's in and out for him. Sadey, on the other hand, is more in the learning stages of a leash walk. Small wonder -- in her foster family, she had a fenced yard. I learned today that she never went for walks to do her stuff. Here, she has to learn that her chance at relieving herself comes only when we pace back and forth on suburban green strips. And since she doesn't associate our walks with potty stuff, she takes forever!  And, too, she pulls harder. I will have to concentrate leash training on her, not on Henry, who by comparison, is a pro! (Though even that is an unwarranted generalization: once he does his stuff, Henry wants the leash to come off so that he can play. Tug of war can ensue. Try breaking that habit when you have a second dog with you wondering what the hell is going on!)

Sadey, the friendly dog who approaches everyone with a smile, is no wilting flower. After breakfast, the poor girl was whining to get out. Henry seemed eager to give it a try. I put away his toys and took her out of her playroom, keeping her on a leash in case things got dicey. Henry was exuberant. They chased, mouthed each other and all that was fine -- Henry and Goose do it all the time. But Henry and Goose can read each others signals splendidly. They know when to stop. With  these two, it seemed that they might be escalating (it's hard to tell with dogs -- sometimes it's all fun and games, but these two weren't yet reliable), so after just five minutes of roughhousing, I took Sadey back into her fenced-off room. 

To me it seems that it's a workable solution, but it does, I think, stall the bonding that surely must take place between her and the rest of us.  She's there alone, whining. How can that be good? Yes, I go in and stay with her in bits and pieces, but it's not the same. 

So, morning walks? Separate but not equal. His is short, hers is long and often unproductive!

Breakfast. His first, then hers, then mine. 

And the whining continues.

It's a beautiful, record breaking day today! I keep the porch door open to let the house gases out!

 

 

Eventually I try opening the gate again. And this time they're good. A little roughhousing but also a lot of peace.

And you'd think I passed the trial period stunningly, with total success. 

You'd be wrong. I take them out for a walk, together, but stopping when they pull too hard. All good, though once more she does nothing, We come inside. I give them each a treat. And I'm not sure if this is the precipitating factor or if it's something entirely different, but a real fight ensues. And dumb me had taken off her leash, feeling a misplaced confidence in their ability to maintain peace. I managed to pull her away without having my hand chopped off and put her back in the play room. And I remind myself: they warned us again and again -- do not rush this. They are not reading signals well yet. Give it more time. Much more time.

It would be easy to blame Henry. I had labeled him half jokingly the "neurotic" one -- a perhaps unfortunate label we used to give to anxious others when we were kids. And I do think he was the first to ward Sadey off yesterday. I saw that. She wanted his toy, he said a firm no, with a snap. But as I take her out of the room now for leash walks around the house (I cant just leave her in her room -- she's too unhappy there), I see that she is the one fending off his play attempts. Dogs dont hold grudges, but she may well be too stressed to do anything but growl when he tries to engage her. Stress hormones can take several days to get back to normal after an arousal. The trip itself raised her anxiety levels to high levels. The question out there is if there is a chance that they will never get along. That both pups are too hungry for love and too possessive of it once they get it (Sadey always pushes herself into the cuddle I may be giving Henry). That is, of course, possible. I can't rule it out. But I'm optimistic. I have two dogs who need help and I will try my hardest to make this work. 

For the rest of the day I take many indoor and outdoor walks. Taking each pooch outside sometimes separately, sometimes together, on short leashes, keeping both to one side. Aside from the pulling, they actually are quite compatible on a walk. And I resume watching the Olympics. And the dogs whine at the fence, but with apologies to them, I am keeping them separated for the next week. I observe them both, offer reassuring words, and wait for everyone to calm down. 

With all that I still have to figure out, I am nonetheless so very happy to have Sadey with us! 

 

Ed comes over in the evening with a pizza. We watch a show. He biked today so rather predictably, he dozes off on the couch. I exhale.

The big changes are behind me for now. But the work to make this a great transition is very much still before me.

with so much love... 

love's challenge

It's hard not to fall back on platitudes and banalities when writing about love. On the other hand, it's hard today for me to not write about love at all. Love is at the forefront of all my thoughts as I try to figure out best courses of action for the weeks ahead. Love is the culprit here. Without it, I would shrug and let the days unfold. But I cannot do that. I have to stick with a plan to maximize our chances for a good outcome. 

Two beings frame the day for me: Ed and Henry. Yes, that's right, the men in my life.

Ed has developed an asthmatic reaction to being in Sally's House. He believes that the new house is "burping" and the settling gases are aggravating his bronchial tubes. In the middle of the night, he was enough short on breath that he went home.

I know what you're thinking -- he may be allergic to the dogs. We are almost certain that they are not the culprit. He spent plenty of time at the Edge with Henry virtually sitting on top of him and he felt nothing, nothing at all. Of course, I myself do not care for self-diagnosing and yes, this could be an event that requires medical intervention, but he is so convinced that he is right ("I walked home and was fine immediately") that I just have to accept it as a hard truth.

Until we can keep the windows open, his visits can be frequent, but necessarily shorter. That could be classified as love's challenge, don't you think? I moved here for Henry and to be close to Ed. Henry's anxieties have lessened, though they're not nearly cured. Ed -- well arguably this is better, despite this setback. We see each other a lot, but most definitely the flare up is costing us some. Still, you could say it's good that he lives almost within my field of vision. Hop on.a bike and you're there. 

 

About Henry now: I have myself a calm and easy dog -- that would be Sadey -- and a passionately neurotic pup -- Henry.  

Henry spent the night downstairs rather than in his usual doggie bed. That could be because he really loves the new Ikea couch. Or because Ed dozed off on the older couch and Henry has a total crush on Ed. Or he stayed to keep tabs on Sadey in the fenced off playroom. When Ed left in the middle of the night, Henry remained on the couch downstairs, coming in to wake me at sunrise -- just before 7. Here, you can see it from the upstairs bedroom.

Obviously both dogs need to go out ASAP. Would one at a time work? I didn't see myself taking Sadey and leaving Henry with heightened feeling of jealousy. And she is the newbie, so I need to walk her often until she sniffs out the area. So, I clip on two leashes. I'm thinking it may be the last time that I go out with them on two separate leashes.

(from hot steamy Texas to snow!)

(Ha! They both like to bark at other people walking dogs!)

 

The number of times they got tangled up in their leads, around me, around themselves is... a bit unnerving. They are both strong, enthusiastic dogs and neither Sadey nor Henry is shy about pulling toward a scent. One trip around the block and I take them in.

The greatest challenge is to get Henry to accept her inside his house. It wont happen overnight. For now, he's fine with her being in her room. He believes the rest of the house is his. The canine introduction protocols are such that you might have to keep this going for several weeks.

Overall, I would say that at this point we have just a modest amount of territorial jealousy. There was a lot of positive energy in their exchanges. But Henry issued a warning, especially when she reached for his toys,  and that was enough for me to put up the gate. And there it shall stay for a while. If you just let go of these baby steps and let the dogs loose in the house, there may be a fight and it will then take far longer to restore calm. So, my assignment is to not rush things. To go slow for the love to grow.

 

Breakfast.

The grandkids once again want to spend time with the dogs. We had tentatively arranged a walk for today -- two dogs off leash, Sadey on leash, in the local dog park -- but my daughter seems to have picked up their bug now. Still, Snowdrop's persuasive powers are as strong as they come. The dad caves and brings the kids over to the park. Ed takes Sadey in the car  (she needs to be apart from Henry, just in case). I take Henry, and we meet up with the three kids and Goose at our local dog park.

 

I'd say that of the three kids, only one really wants to be there. The terrain is awfully muddy (not to Sparrow's liking), the dogs are fast and they splash and sometimes knock you over (which is exactly what happened when a St. Bernard jumped on Sandpiper in the most "friendly" greeting). Then too, there's the dilemma of what to do with Sadey. It's a gorgeous day -- we're having record warm weather with plenty of sunshine (hence the mud). Obviously this is the day to exercise your dog (if you dont mind the mud afterwards). But the adoption instructions warn you about overstimulating your adoptee on what is effectively her first day. Besides, how much does she knows us? How much does she trust Henry? Will I be able to call her back? For all these reasons, I start off with keeping her on the leash. 

 

 

 

But it's an impossible assignment. She wants to be with the running dogs! She pulls hard. I can't torture her like this --  as if dangling ice cream, but ultimately delivering water.  So I take a deep breath and, recognizing the risk, I release her.

 

 

 

I call her back once just to see if she will listen. She does. I relax. Too soon. Sadey runs off far far ahead. So do Gosse and Henry, but of course, they know to return.

 

 

 

I ask Ed -- do you think we'll get her back? Eventually! -- he answers. The park is of course enclosed. She seems to recognize us as her caregivers. What can go wrong??

What can go wrong is that she is capable of running so far ahead that we can't really see her. In the meantime, the boys are slogging through the mud letting me know that life is not good at all. Snowdrop, who is unfazed by any of it, runs ahead and eventually leashes my dog. Sadey stays for the remaining walk on leash, but at least I do know now that she is that much closer to learning what's at stake. Prairie Morraine is too big a park for now, but our local doggie place is perfect. If muddy.

So muddy is it that both dogs are covered with dirt. Caked up bellies, paws that look like they walked through a swamp. What to do! 

I pull up into the garage and fill a bucket with soapy water and attack one dog at a time. They come out almost squeaky clean!  Almost. And then, back she goes into her little room. Sadey would like to come out. But I don't think they're ready for an unrestricted run of the house. For now, she is safer in her space, with Henry resting by the gate.

In the late afternoon I take the two out for a walk. I remember how little I knew about Henry when I first walked him. It took a while to make it an easy adventure. Well, I'm learning that I actually know very little about walking these two dogs together. I purchased a leash with two separate leads coming out of one long leash. 

This is a disaster. Sure, they did not tangle around themselves. They did tangle around me. I went down once to learn that! 

More importantly, whereas Henry was pretty easy to walk by now, Sadey and Henry together are a whole other ballpark. They feed off of each other and pull harder than you would think possible. Add to it Henry's barking at strangers and you have yourself a walk from hell.

I realized right away that there will have to be separate walks. And when I join them at some point, it will be on two leashes, both dogs to one side, Henry as the taller guy near me, Sadey on the outer side. And if they pull, I stop and go no further. That is my current plan. Will I modify it? Oh for sure! We are just figuring it out. It will take time! 

 

Evening. My first day with two dogs is behind me. Apple music has a playlist called calming music for dogs. Just a touch boring, but maybe effective! After a while I'll switch to "Ina Garten's favorite love songs" -- my Valentine's Day treat. Are Ed and I celebrating? Well, I could twist his arm to do something, but these days I dont do much arm twisting at all so perhaps we'll make do with a phone call! We had our sweet embrace earlier in the day.

I survived my two pooches! 

 

 

 

 

 

And I hope made things better for both of them! And for our family. Eventually all this will be peanuts. For now, there is a challenge to loving someone. (I'm lookin' at you Henry, Ed!)  Don't I know it! 

with so much love... 

 

sunshine

For a brief hour, just after breakfast, sunshine makes its way between the roofs of houses in the new development and streams brilliantly across the porch, and into the living room of Sally's House. It's a fabulous time. Henry is at peace, on the new and very wide couch.

I have shed all my anxieties about his barking. (He hasn't barked at all since we moved here.)  What incredible luck to have found this place! Yes, it's too big for me, but the owners put it on the rental market at a dead time (winter in Madison is not a good time to sell a home) and so they were willing to rent it to me at a lower the price if I kept it until the hot summer rental period. Talk about luck! It's what they needed, it's what I needed. At the same time, I have little doubt that my unit at the Edge will be rented out quickly. There aren't many such units there and the rental team is fabulous at its job. Yes, it's a gamble on my part, but not a very big one. And honestly, I would give up a year of travel to have made this move -- it has made that much of a difference! Henry cannot live in an apartment building. I have strong images of him walking through the loud garage -- while the machines blasted the air flow, he would hug the walls, the cars, anything to quickly get out of there. Similarly, once off the elevator, he would pull toward the wall as we walked to the apartment. And, of course, it would only have been a matter of time before he freaked out a resident and caused a calamity for them, for me. Here, in Sally's House, he lives in peace, and I can see the tension seeping out of him.

 

He wakes me at 6:30 -- his usual. But because there is no passage through the corridors and rides in the elevator, and because he is getting older (nearly a year now!), I dont rush to go out. I take a shower first. He waits. We go.

Again we see a person -- this one with two dogs. Henry so wants to meet and greet, but they are on the other side of the street and frankly, this is no time for dog play. People who walk their animals at this hour are in a hurry to get to work. 

 

Breakfast. With joyful classical music streaming, along with the sunshine.

I still have clothes and books to unpack. It should be easy, but there's so much else to do. Sadey's coming in the middle of the night and I need to be ready for all that her arrival will bring with it. Well you might ask -- does Henry really need a sibling right now, and I will say that my best guess is yes. very much so. We are a pack of two. Much as Henry loves quiet, he also needs play and I find this to be the toughest job for me. Not the walks, not the challenging anxiety issues, but keeping his mind occupied on the days he is not at doggie daycare. What I know to be true with kids, is also true with dogs, at least with this dog: having two is at once harder and easier than having just one. At first, when you introduce the second, you feel yourself to be overwhelmed with the challenge that it presents. But gradually, every ounce of you is grateful for the additional life you are privileged to care for. What they contribute outweighs the hardship by a ratio of about a million to one. I hope this to be true with Sadey and Henry. Cross your fingers and rub a rabbit's foot on this Friday the 13th!

 

 

I take Henry to day care and return to organizing and unpacking and hanging art work. Yes, even for a half a year stay, I put up art. Just nine pieces -- I want the color pop! A final big push to get everything in order. No kids today. Still sick, still wrecking the work schedules of their parents.

As for the Olympics? I'm never watching them again! I hate it when deserving people who should have won don't win. Ah well, it's only a game. The Olympic Game.

 

I pick up Henry, I bring him home. No, he's not my perfect pup tonight. It's muddy. He doesn't like mud. Neither do I, but hey, these are the bathroom conditions available to you right now! And, as people come home from work, they take out their dogs. Tonight he notices the people more than the dogs. Well, at least I can spin him around and go in a different direction. 

Ed comes over. Sadey's transport is running on the early side. We discuss if he should drive the hour to Portage -- the drop off location for Sadey -- while I babysit Henry, or the other way around. I desperately want to see her, to be the pickup person, but I hate driving on a dark highway at night. To me it's like driving in a fog (which I also hate): you can't see where the road bends. I slow down, just as I would in a dense fog, but this isn't proper driving. You cant go 45 mph on a superhighway. 

In the end, he goes. At 8:30, he brings Sadey home. I take out Henry to meet her. They sniff outside (as per recommendation) and then both come in. She has a fenced off space -- the playroom -- but initially, she's not interested in staying in it. I walk her around on a leash as she sniffs the place out. 

Sadey is the most chill dog I have ever met. The girl with wings instead of ears!

 

 

After thirty hours on the road, she has every right to be tired, scared, cranky, distressed. She is none of those things. All smiles and wags and licks.

And Henry? Oh, I'd say he is 95% on board with her. True, three times he thought it best to assert himself, but mostly he was curious and not complaining. 

It is quite late when I get a message from Snowdrop -- gaga, can I please meet Sadey tonight? Please?!! I'll be quiet! We're not sick any more! 

I agree, thinking that a quick quiet visit should be okay. 

Of course, everyone wants to come meet her. The kids, parents, dog...

The little guys adore her sweetness!

 

 

 And she adores them right back. There's no shyness in this pup!

Several times the kids sneak open the gate and the three dogs have the run of the place. With Goose here, Henry forgets his issues with the new sib. It's chaotic, it's not by the book, but in watching Sadey very closely, I see that she is a happy pup. Well, a two year old happy pup! And when they all insist on a photo of them with all three dogs, everyone is very obliging and agreeable.

 

 

When everyone leaves, I close the gate on her again. She'd gotten out before, so I put chairs in front of it for added strength. She needs to decompress. She'll keep that room as her space for a while, until I'm sure Henry is fully on board with this new addition to our family. 

Sadey joined our pack today. What an amazing dog! What a day!

with so much love... 

 

a new day

Perhaps that's a platitude: a new day, standing in for massive changes in your life. Yet it is so fitting! I did wake up to a transformed home space. A new landscape. A different approach to the everyday. 

Yesterday was insane. (Granted -- all moves are insane.) I neared 20 000 steps and I wasn't even the one doing 90% of the moving. My watch tells me I climbed 33 flights of stairs. All in Sally's House, taking empty boxes to the basement, carrying stuff up to the bedrooms. But putting in all that work paid off. I still have boxes of clothes and bathroom stuff to unpack, there's still a couch missing in the living room, the books aren't up on the bookshelves yet, and despite all that, it already feels like home to me. 

Henry was up before 7. He'd slept in his bed, in our bedroom, as if it we were still at the Edge. Surely he must have been tired. After daycare, he's usually asleep by 8. Not last night. Each time I went to the basement, he'd follow and wait apprehensively. He doesn't like entering weird unfamiliar terrain and the basement is one such area. He wont go down. He'd stand at the top, back up, watching, as if waiting for the ax to fall.

*     *     * 

Morning. He and I go out. 

 

 

 

 

Just before 7 the construction workers are arriving at the site across the street. This is heartbreaking for me -- watching the way these guys work long hours, doing their job with such skill, yet also with the fear of being picked up and hauled away. When Henry sees the first guy emerge from his pickup, he lets out one woof, but as others come onto the scene he gives up. They're not walking toward us. There are many. Henry slides into exactly where I want him to be -- indifference. I smile.

As we head back to Sally's House, I see a guy coming toward us with a big black pooch nearly Henry's size. My dog perks up. A friend? Let's go greet him! But the owner gives us a wide girth, even stepping out onto the street to avoid us. And immediately I see why he does this -- his dog is reactive, but not to strangers (or not only to strangers) -- to dogs. As his canine barks and growls at us, the guy tugs him away, all the time saying -- "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Oh, how I know that feeling! Of resignation, of an inability to get things under control, of failure at a very primal level. I smile at him, but I know he doesn't notice and doesn't care. All he wants is for his dog to calm down.

In this neighborhood, dog ownership is very common. I've biked and walked here so often and there are always dogs and owners out on the paths and sidewalks. This is a good thing for Henry, who knows his way around canines. In all, this whole move is so far a wonderful change for the better. 

 *     *     *

Breakfast. Ed eventually comes down for it, but he's not a breakfast eater anymore. Keeps me company for a few minutes, then retreats as I try to figure out where best to eat.

 

We are developing new routines, new habits. Much to Henry's disappointment, he goes off to take care of farmette animals. We will meet up again later, but even if we don't, I feel like we are already back in our bubble. A differently configured bubble, but in a good way. (Our issue of future planning remains unresolved, but at least we are dealing with a greater awareness that it's there, on the table, waiting for us to move on it. Soon I hope, but I wont be surprised if it's not soon at all.)

*     *     * 

I lost my couch buddy for the morning. I knew this would happen: there is only one window on the ground level that looks out on the street and on all the construction activity. That is where Henry wants to be. And for once he has more to take in than merely cars going in and out to the garage.

As I drop him off at doggie daycare, Aimee (the owner and person in charge) asks -- how did it go? And I had to say -- magnificently. Because it has been a magnificent transition, but with this caveat: I know my Henry. He starts out slow. Doesn't pass judgment until he understands the boundaries. His anxieties come out when he feels happy and comfortable. He doesn't want to lose then what he has achieved in life. So what I should have said was -- magnificently for now. Ask me again in a week.

*     *     * 

I unpack. Of course I do. And still, there are boxes. Many boxes. Well, I have an excuse -- today I had to give a chunk of time to grocery shopping and building a new IKEA couch (with Ed's help). We always needed two couches for when the young families come over, but I especially need a second one for when Sadey is here. It's already tight with Ed, Henry and me on the existing one. We need to make room for the new girl!

 

 

And I have to pick up Sparrow at school. I've been warned he's been a little off, what with the two sibs "enjoying" time at home (they have a light case of the flu). I was not prepared at how much this affected his mood. In the end, we decided it's better that he head home. A visit to Sally's House can come later. When Sadey is here!

*     *     * 

Henry's return home from daycare is smooth as can be. We get out of the car and he immediately pulls toward the door. No, sweet pup, you need to do your walk first. 

Once again, he is surprised to see a new piece of furniture in the house. But what a great addition for two large dogs! The seat is incredibly wide. My big pooch right away favors it for nap.

 

 

Me? I make a cabbage potato soup that'll last a while. And in the time it took to cook it (90 minutes), I tuned in to a live feed (via Facebook) of the loading of the Texas rescue dogs (and cats) onto the buses and vans. 107 animals, on board for their journey to a new home. If I thought Wisconsin is far, I learn that some are going to Seattle. Others -- to Canada. They'll send them anywhere just to give them a chance at a good home. And I see Sadey! In a crate, ready to start her 30 hour trip (this is their estimate... updates will follow).

Tomorrow will be another huge day for all of us. We are on a roll!

with so much love...