cars

Millie and Ed have this in common -- neither likes being in a car. For Millie, I have to think it has to do with the uncertainty of what comes next. For Ed, cars are boring machines. Like airplanes, they trap you for long distances. He's cramped, he's sleepy -- a bad combination for a driver. To my knowledge, he has never purchased a new car -- a waste of money. But though he detests driving the thing, he doesn't mind crawling underneath to fix emergent problems. In the 21 years I have been with him, I've seen him go through three cars -- all visual wrecks, purchased at very low prices. Used, with problems that he then fixed. The last one, a little Hundai, dating to 2000, finally died and so for the past few weeks he's been on the lookout for a replacement.

He found one that he thought might be okay -- an '09 Hundai Accent again, but with several years of improvements on it. The owner lives in Janesville (a 45 minute drive south) and so this is going to be our excursion for today: to Janesville, to consider a car. 

But first, Millie and I have our usual beautiful morning.

 

  

 

And then I do some rose business: I donate two Baffins to a neighbor, and I put in trellises for a new positioning of the front climbers. I'm hoping the trellises will be strong enough. Saving money on plant supports is a textbook example of being penny wise and pound foolish. A heavy rose can bring the whole structure down. Still, I'm going to take a chance and stay with the cheap ones. With support structures you're left deciding between a Hyundai Accent (a used one at that) or a  Mercedes-Benz. There is no in-between, 

And while I'm on the subject of roses (am I ever not on the subject of roses these days?), let me say that I am not the only one carrying gardening into what I think of as "nearly winter" season. Several of my planted roses too, have forgotten that they should be laying down their heads and going to sleep for the winter now.

(I am really not a fan of red roses, but I do not have the heart to mess with this one -- Frida Kahlo, one of my very first purchases, when all I cared about was putting in something with a strong bloom. Kahlo is a very strong bloomer.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now Millie naps, while Ed and I drive to Janesville, 

It reminds me so much of all the trips he and I have taken together to various points in Wisconsin and beyond. And I have to wonder -- why have we stopped? Again, I think that's on me. I never want to drive anywhere, because like Ed, I find driving to be tediously boring. I've turned into a very local person who occasionally likes to go to France. My weird orbit!

Ed tested the car and found it to be acceptable. It surprised him that the owner let it go for $1600. He would have paid more. He'll be spending the next several days detailing it, switching out the wheels, fixing minor glitches. 

Ed and I have such different interests! And yet, here we are... 

 

Having already left Millie in her crate for a couple of hours, I decide to forgo gardening and stay in with her. I have plenty of tidying and dinner prep work to do!

Yes, the young family is here for the evening meal, probably the last one we will have with any amount of  daylight in it. [Next week, we have a clock fall back. I've been preparing Millie for that change, but, like Henry, she is resistant. Wakes up at 6:30 and can be stalled until 7, but not later. Move that back an hour and see where it gets us...] 

One of the grandkids had a run in with their big, overly friendly dog last night, which resulted in a front tooth break (yes, it was an adult tooth). I was glad to see that the trauma of that was tucked away, for now anyway. All was calm. 

For one fleeting moment, even the dogs were calm.

 

 

(The canine calm did not last. Their play is always... energetic. Carpets fly, friendly growls are plentiful.)

I alternate dinners here for them between seafood and chicken. Tonight was seafood night. 

 

 

 

 

 

Evening. A quiet moment for me to take stock. Of how good the day was. Of my chocolate supply. Of Millie's growth and development. Of how lucky I am to have a garden that will, come spring time, bring color to the neighborhood. To my life.

with so much love... 

it ain't over til it's over

That's a Yogi Berra quote, by the way. Did you know that? (We are heavily focused on baseball this month here in Wisconsin.) Perhaps if you're not a baseball fan (generally speaking, I'm not a baseball fan, only because I think it can be boring, unlike football which I dislike profoundly because it's brutal) -- then you might not know that Yogi Berra was a baseball super star (MVP several times in fact), but he was also known for his kindness, inclusivity (gay rights advocate, spoke up for racial tolerance), financial smarts, devotion to his family, humility. Rare qualities in a person of great fame. 

I thought of him today as I picked up my Rose Book and added one more rose to my list (which thus stands at 95  96 planted -- or will be planted -- roses, and 7 potted ones). I look at the weather and again, there is no freeze in sight. So my gardening window is still open and I got this itch to take out (and give away) the two William Baffin climbers and put in something more in line with what is in the garden now.  Why? A rose is a rose, no? Sure, but the first William Baffin came from the farmette and even though it's a three year old, it has produced scant blooms. That's the trouble with William Baffin -- it's known for miserly repeat blooms (if any). And the second one is an even worse match  -- it was put in by my landscape person back in May. Those were the days when I couldn't do much on my own because I had a renter in Steffi's House. My landscaper chose and put in the rose, and by now I have moved or given away most of what she had planted. Yet there stands her choice, the Baffin rose, in the most prominent place of the front garden, growing bushy and crazy big, with no blooms. And no, it's not that it's working on root establishment. It's just that kind of a rose.

To garden is to move, to give away, to start again and again. And while I'm at it -- there's the rose tree that needs to come out (I'm keeping her, albeit in a pot), and something else that needs to go in. 

My thoughts are on my roses. As usual. Not over till it's over.

 

But, I do understand that there is life outside the Rose Book. For example, Millie and I have a fine breakfast hour...

And then Ed calls and suggests a walk. We are up for it!

(I pick him up at the farmette: Ed, you do know that there is a chicken following you? Yes, she does that all the time now...)

 

 

(at the dog park: late autumn colors)

 

 

 (Miss floppy ears)

 

 

Followed by Tati's -- now a real favorite for Millie. It's the routine of it that's so attractive for her. Ed always sits in the same spot, she always gets her pup cup, what's there not to love?

(did you know that dogs can smile?)

 

 

Back at home I realize that the weather could stay this way forever and I will have spent the last years of my life just thinking about, and learning about, and scheming about roses, and nice as that image may be today, it would be a shame to bypass everything else. 

Reluctantly (very reluctantly!) I take out my spring bulbs, lay them out on the counter and try to draw up a plan of what will go where. Interfering with this is the dahlia project. There has to be room for both -- bulbs and dahlias, and they have to coordinate well with the remainder of the garden. Someone once asked -- what would you rather have, lots of space for roses,  or lots of roses without much space. I've found myself in box number two, and I think that is a good thing -- I cannot let the garden grow so big that it becomes a burden. Nevertheless, lots of roses means I need to think before I plant. Allocate things with care. Too crowded is never good. Plants need room to breathe. 

Maybe tomorrow I will actually begin putting bulbs in the ground. You never know!

What a fantastic month it has been for us! August was tough, September was wobbly, and then came October. The month where for me at least, many good things happen.

with so much love... 

 

same

I have been wondering -- is everyone, even those who are, say 73 years old, terribly rushed all the time, not finishing all that they need to do in the course of the day? Or is it just me? Why is the day so short?! (And no, one hour added once, next weekend, wont help.)

Ed said to me the other day -- you plunge into these things and there's no moderation. Dogs, cameras, gardens, roses, kids -- it never ends.

Well I suppose that's one way of looking at it. Or you could say I get enthusiastic about projects and devote myself fully to doing things that bring me satisfaction, joy, pleasure. Nevertheless, as the day catapults forward at a breakneck pace, I'm left thinking -- shouldn't there be time for just being unoccupied? Maybe even bored? 

Today, I am not bored. 

Millie and I are up and out at a compromise point: not before sunrise (the day before yesterday), not after sunrise (yesterday), but just at sunrise, which today is at 7:21 a.m.

 

 

Yes, it is another beautiful day here in south central Wisconsin. Probably in all of Wisconsin. Perhaps even beyond Wisconsin. So... what if I get completely used to it and get all grumpy and sour when cold wet air returns?  What if I wake up one morning this winter not liking snow?

   not likely.

I take my breakfast to the sunny window of course. The peonies are grocery store stuff and they're cringe worthy since the season for them is ... long ago. But, it's rare for me to love a grocery store flower in late autumn so I turn my back to the wrong season issue and bring home this beautiful three pack (one still hasn't opened)..

 

 

 

Millie naps, I try to process some bills and returns, Millie wakes, we go to doggie daycare.

If I thought yesterday that I might start sorting through daffodils and crocuses and bluebells and tulips -- well, that was an unrealistic expectation. There was still garden fixing to do out there. Last strips of sod to rip out and mulch to put down. Last rose hole to dig out (I mean it! Last one!), Set up corner garage space for wintering over pots of roses and tree roses (in addition to my final tally of 94 planted roses (three still in transit), I will have three tree roses and four new pots with planted baby roses that I hope will survive in the garage. I have bubble wrap and cardboard flooring all ready for them! A trellis to build for two climbers, plants to water in the front yard.

Coincidentally, the expert on Public Radio's Garden Talk today was Rita Perwich -- she is the author of the recently published Natural Rose Gardening: the Organic Guide to Growing Amazing Blooms. Since I was hurrying to get stuff done (what a surprise), I only caught snippets of her Q/A segment. That's okay -- she was a poor choice to give advice to Wisconsin rosarians since she lives in California and has no idea about our growing conditions here. But I do have her book which is a great source of practical information for those times when your plants are covered with aphids (buy some ladybugs!), or worse -- thrips (release some Amblyseius swirskii or Amblyseius cucumeris -- beneficial bugs that you can buy online). I'm guessing those will be her recommendations -- I haven't gotten the book yet. But what I did find interesting was something that I have learned already, on my own in my two months of rose growing: the best defense against disease or pests is to be vigilant. To observe your roses daily. Yes, daily. I make the rounds every morning, snipping and removing where appropriate. Taking note. If day lilies required intense oversight in July and part of August, roses need your walk-through from April through November. 

 

 

 

And finally, when I put down the shovel, the clippers, the hose -- it is time to pick up the kids. The boys, then the girl (who was so busy chatting to her friend that she passed my car without noticing it.)

 

 

 

 

They're all freshly after parent-teacher conferences, where the parents learned some obvious truths and, too, some less obvious ones. For example -- two of the three kids were independently praised for being very kind to their classmates. A different two of the three were described as leaders, though in very different ways! And two were seen as very funny. All three were doing well academically, so that's a relief I suppose, though one was described as perhaps a tad inattentive to teacher's directives.  (The other two were highly amused by this.)

I offered them all a trip to Barnes & Noble as a reward I suppose. Or maybe because I myself enjoy these Friday outings to a bookstore. And whereas on our first Friday trip there this year, the younger two balked, right now, everyone looks forward to it.

And there is a Starbucks in the store, and I do offer a snack there. 

As on previous Fridays, I drop all but Snowdrop at home. She and I go to pick up Millie...

... and then she goes to her Youth Group meeting while I bring Millie home.  

I study the weather web page. No frost in sight for the next ten days (it could change of course). Fabulous news for my roses. And for me, since I'm always running behind schedule. I'll be planting the bulbs without wearing a cap and mitts. (This week for sure.) Will that be the last gardening task for the year? Not by a long shot. I need to heap chips and dirt around each of the 94 roses (after a couple of hard frosts that will have them drop leaves, which I will then have to rake up to keep spores and larvae out of the soil). I need to plant the pots with the baby shrubs and dig out my one planted rose tree. I need to feed what remains of the lawn, and mow it one last time, leaving some length so that whatever is burrowed at the base isn't shredded to pieces by the mower. And I need to do a winter trim of the perennials. And water everything solidly until the ground is frozen. Gardening into December?? Seriously?? And I wonder why I have so little time for anything else...

with so much love.. 

 

this weather!

If it's pleasant and then rain comes and then it's pleasant again -- well, you have a rhythm there that allows you to fit in all that you set out to accomplish. You work outside on grand days, you pay bills on wet rainy days. You pay attention to your writing too, because you're indoors and have the time for it. 

We do not have such a pattern this month. It all has been excruciatingly lovely -- every single day of this month. Oh, maybe one day it rained. Maybe there was a second one when I was away. But apart from that -- it's been sunny and delightful for outdoor work. T-shirt weather! Snowdrop is still wearing shorts to school. (Ed is in shorts too, but he's nuts in that he wears shorts in the winter too.)

And so I work in the garden and then the clock moves forward too quickly and it's time for me to pick up kids or Millie or both and then it's evening time and boom -- the day has moved on.

Now, this is fabulous for my gardening. With all the great weather, the roses do need to be watered, but that surely is better than having them drown in downpours. And apart from the one night of maybe a tiny light frost (though I swear we had none), the night temperatures have also been warm. My plants are working hard on developing their roots. All is good.

But I have no time to read, write, shop, pay bills, fold laundry -- not any of that. Not the mundane, not the creative. So forgive me if this is rather... brief and banal. Some day the weather will turn on me and I will go back to indoor work and perhaps (though it's not a given) post more creative texts here.

And speaking of creative, a neighbor stopped me while I was working outside today. She had a gift for me. (I'd given her a couple of plants, she was grateful.) What she likes to do is gather up broken plates. People give them to her, she finds them, collects them. Shattered china. Out of these pieces of tableware, she makes mosaics. And this one is for me. Since she thinks of me as the neighborhood gardener, she was sure to include bits of flowered plate pieces. With a little mirror in the middle.

And how was my early morning? Oh, just extra fine!

 

(Millie waits for me to get ready, keeping an eye on possible movements outside) 

Another misty walk, this time after the sun already made an appearance.

 

 

 

Breakfast? The olive tree brings in a bit of nature to my sunny seat. A flower, Millie, a book. Coffee and granola with yogurt and fruit. And honey. My Polish roots always lead me to drizzle a good honey over whatever it is that I am eating for breakfast.

Millie goes to day care, I take boxes to the recycling center and food and compost buckets to the farmette.

(Ed's container garden on the picnic table...)

 

And then I work on ripping out more sod (for the dahlias!), and planting a rose (my replacement plant), and starting in on one more hole, for you know what.

And before I know it, it's time to pick up Snowdrop. And Goose. And the boys. And then Millie. In that order, with various drop offs along the way.

 

(she laughs when I tell her she's wearing a scowl) 

 

 

(picking up the boys at Taekwan-do) 

 

 

Do not expect creativity to surge tomorrow. The weather is going to be... perfect. I may have to start in on my bulb planting.

with so much love...

 

and how did you spend your Wednesday?

 Me, I played with Millie. I kid you not. It was a her and me day. Everything I did had Millie in it. And, conversely, she kept a vigilant eye on my doings, never straying far. Actually never straying at all. She's not one to jump fences to see what's on the other side. In fact, she's the kind of dog that you could never put on a leash and she'd still walk by your side. Of course, the day I try that is the day she runs across the street to greet another dog and I lose her to a car crash. 

Why so much of Millie? It's just how the day evolved.

 Our mornings of course are always together: the pre-sunrise walk (a beautiful morning mist today!)...

 

 

 

And breakfast (with her always nesting on my feet while I try not to wiggle too much to disturb her)...

 

 

A short nap for her, another walk.

("what next?")

 

Then, all the things I planned for this day were within her orbit. For example, I watered the roses in her yard while she searched out the wood chips to steal, splinters or no splinters. Loves those wood chips. 

And we played ball. Oh how she loves that!

And I tidied up some roses -- out in the front yard, while she kept an eye on me from the porch (such a beautiful day yet again!). 

And I finally started to work on my Rose Book. I had taken it to France with me, thinking that I surely would have time to fill it there -- a ridiculous idea. When have I ever had too much time while traveling?!

And I took care of the set up for my bougainvilleas for their winter in the basement. With grow lights.  And I transplanted my olive tree and positioned it also inside, hoping that a southern exposure would suffice.

All this while Millie enjoyed sniffing things out and barking for no reason. 

 

 

 

Sure, there was a lot of rose work in my day. I blame the weather. It's so good these weeks that I feel compelled to continue. The more I do now, the better the spring and summer bloom will be next year. 

My pup, my roses. My coffee, my books. Blue skies, warm air. I'm so grateful. For all this and so much more.

with so much love... 

and many more...

Years added to our tally: Ed and I started being a thing 21 years ago today. On his birthday. He was then freshly 55 years old. I was 52. I didn't know it was his birthday. He worked hard on not telling me these things, assuring me that he didn't care, didn't celebrate, didn't count. Alright, we can talk a long time about why a person chooses to go that path but no matter. He may not celebrate. I do. His birthday and our coming together and forming this very unusual union (but is there a "usual" union out there?) back on October 20, 2005.. It's good to count -- it helps you see the evolution, to understand how nothing stays the same, even as you feel that closeness, intimacy, love. 

Ed and I almost never disagree openly. That's probably because if we started to pick on choices made by the other, we'd never stop. We are so different that it's no use dwelling on that. Where does that get you anyway. For us, it's one day at a time. We find the overlap, we focus on that. 

Yet, I have to admit that this last year has brought with it a sea of changes, all instigated by me, and though I think the end result is a good one (we live in each others back yard, but not under the same roof), nonetheless, there are challenges. Ed's habits are such that he does not plan ahead. Living together (as we did in the farmhouse for quite a while) allowed us to bypass the arranging of things. Now we are back to having to do that and though Ed rarely (never?) says no to my ideas, still, sometimes I wish I wouldn't have to generate them all the time.

But, there is love. There is a calmness, a harmony, a synergy that grows over time because the longer you are together the more you understand where your sweet spot is together. (Or there is no sweet spot at which point you may as well go your separate ways.) 

And so I live alone and yet I cannot imagine a life without Ed. He is in my head, my heart, maybe some other organ, I don't know. He is very much a part of my mindset. Love that has morphed into something solid. Not likely to change now. So, until one of us keels over, we are together. 

And yes, he is 76. One of those 76 year olds who loves to ride his bike and play pickle ball and learn new things and design new machines. Loves, too, growing his own tomatoes, harvesting old orchard fruits that no one else would call edible, sailing, sleeping under the stars, petting his cats, hanging out with me. I could also give a list of things he doesn't like: gardening for the visual pleasure of seeing things bloom, an overpopulated planet, buying new things, polluting the environment, cruelty to animals and to people but really, maybe especially to animals, cars and driving, wasting food, drinking alcohol, talking about feelings. There's more, but I think this gives you a good idea of what's what. 

We talked about possible things we might do today and in the end we settled for dinner -- of the pizza type, at home, watching a show we like together. But that comes later. Let's take a look at what came before:

A gorgeous day. Just splendid! Sunshine, cool and warm both at the same time -- October perfection. 

 

 

 

Millie and I had a lovely evening of following our old routines and now the morning too is back to having that sweetness of predictability, ending up with breakfast in the sunny reading corner, with the pup curled up on my feet. Bliss.

 

(make room, Millie)

 

 

(Millie, on the guitar...)

After she is done resting, I take her to doggie daycare, where she is deliriously happy to see Julie again. Those two! Me, I return home and you will not guess what I do! Or maybe you will?

I rip out more sod and dig out three new holes. 

I blame the weather! It's so perfect for garden work! Sure, I could be putting in bulbs. But no. I choose instead to make room for spring dahlias. And the holes? That's for the rose replacement that the nursery is sending me. And, um, for the two other roses because they were practically giving them away this late in the season.

 

Too, I water the front yard. Tomorrow I'll do Millie's yard. No time for that today -- I need to pick up Snowdrop at school.

We walk Goose, we talk. she plays with her big guy.

 

 

 

  

 

 

And then I'm back to picking up and dropping off. Drop off Snowdrop at Girl Scouts. Pick up boys at Taekwando. Drop off boys at home. Pick up Millie. Did I forget anyone?? 

Finally my pup and I are home and Ed comes over and she is still a tiny bit apprehensive when he stands up (he is so tall and his booming voice so strong...), but she knows now that this, too is part of our routine. He's part of this household, even if he isn't always on the couch with me...

Happy birthday, Ed. Happy anniversary too! 

with so much love... 

home

How I love coming home to Steffi's House! It is all that one would want from one's little nest. Not yet cluttered by life's progression (and I mean cluttered in the broadest sense of the word), it is pure and innocent. Cheerful and warm. Welcoming. 

Here's how my rentrée (borrowed French term for re-entry to normal life after a vacation) progressed:

My transatlantic flight was seamless and on time. Coming into Chicago is a bit much for a provincial hayseed like me who thinks Detroit, with maybe two international flights arriving at the same time is too chaotic. Lines through passport control (ten different lines and it's up to you to figure out where you belong), long waits for luggage (lucky break for me that I do not have to recheck my bag because there are lines for that as well), and then you have to take a train to get to a place where you can pick up your Uber. No thanks. If I'm going to take a train to Terminal 2 (where Ubers come), I may as well walk from there to the Chicago El (their subway) station and take the train to my daughter's neighborhood. Cheaper and no traffic. 

What I didn't count on was how awkward over bumpy uneven sidewalks the walk from the El to her home would be. I was helped with my suitcase on the station stairs, but thereafter it was just plain torture and my backpack felt very heavy. Next time Uber, you dumb scrooge you!

I was pretty wiped by the time I arrived at their place at around 5 pm. Still, it was grand to see the two girls! Kids at this age never stay in place for long and they already seem ten years older than when I last saw them in August.

I joined them for dinner, and we played a game and it was all great fun.

My daughter had actually been out of town and she arrived just as I was ready to leave, but I did catch her for a few minutes and every few minutes is good in my book! But mindful of my bus schedule (and total exhaustion), I left their home at 8, Ubered (wisely this time) back to OHare airport, and caught the bus back to Madison, arriving in my home city and state at just about midnight. Ed was there, waiting.

Julie, Millie's best bud, had left the house splendidly clean, which was a great gift for me! Still, as always, I felt compelled to unpack and take stock and so it was close to 2 before I fell into bed completely spent.

 

And this morning? Sunny and beautiful! First thing: take a look at the roses. They survived!

(The Primard gardens looked like they were shutting down fast. Mine doesn't look like it's in that much of a hurry.)

 

 

Several of the roses have significant leaf damage which I assume is due to rose slugs. I'll have to clean them up today -- rip out leaves in the hope of disposing a good chunk of the little green larvae. And all my plants need water, but no problem, I'm on it! After breakfast of course.

As you see, there are still blooms coming through here and there. I so appreciate them! We're not going to have another frost night this month so I expect my rose luck will hold. For now.

 

 

 

The slug control takes forever! An easier strategy would have been to use organic insecticidal soap, but since it is the end of the season and the leaves will soon drop of their own accord, I thought I'd limit my interventions to just manual removal. We'll see if that's sufficient!

Rose care always sucks up many if not most of my available hours. But you couldn't ask for a nicer day to do this in. Or... am I simply avoiding getting to the bulb planting? Possibly.

 

By 4, I am so ready to pick up Millie. I get a quick summary of her week ("she was perfect!") and then I bring her home and brush her, and hug her, and walk her, and hug her, and generally spend my time convincing her that I missed her very very much.  

 

 

 

 

 

There is nothing to eat in the fridge and though I did order some groceries, they aren't delivered until very very late. That's what frozen leftovers are for! And my crispy wheat crackers. And chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

with so much love...