such a day!

I'd count this Friday as belonging to the ridiculous, absurd, stunningly beautiful, unsettling, sublime, delightful, tiring. Which do you want to read about first?

On confusing days, it's best to go with chronology. Which in this case begins early. Very early. I am up many hours before dawn, thinking about a meeting I am to attend first thing in the morning. And I mean first thing: it is scheduled for 7:30, clear on the other side of town. This means that I have to get myself up by 5:30, get Millie walked, fed, and walked again...

(wet snout from the early morning dew) 

 

 

... and I just have to have some breakfast because there will be no room for this meal at any other decent hour.

Millie doesn't mind the early wake-up. In fact, I'd say she'd like this to be part of her everyday. 

("I like all pillows!")

 

 

("...and especially the Luxembourg Gardens one! My new favorite!") 

 

 

Early mornings? Forget it, little one. Just today.

And then I drop her off at doggie daycare at 7:15. That's right! I am so grateful that the place opens early! She, of course, is happy to trot in, though I notice that she does not like car rides before fully digesting her meal. Guess how I can tell?!

My meeting? Well, I was invited to attend one that had to do with an aspect of the public school curriculum. This turned out to be the worst part of the day. I could not believe the rigidity of institutional thinking! Back in the day when I was actively involved in my daughters' education (did I say this already? I was elected PTA chair for four years, or was it five? Not in a row. And I set up several programs for the kids that unfortunately closed down once I left, but still, they were grand for a few years!) -- back in those days, I worked with school administrators who showed some flexible thinking and valued input, not always agreeing with it, but keeping an open mind.

Not so in today's setting. When I entered the meeting room and saw the person leading the group, I knew we were all wasting time. Rare to see someone so ill suited for such discussions. Now, I no longer have kids in school, so I could just walk away from all of it, but of course, I'm good and mad at the stubbornness of those who chose to be belligerent and unmoving. So I'm itching for a fight. Even as I know that in the end, institutional thinking will prevail. But I do not believe they should be given an easy pass!

From there, I go to my daughter's house to help with her travel plans. I am a bit of an expert on changing flights and harassing airlines and so this is what I did for her for a good hour until things are resolved to her satisfaction.

Next? Grocery shopping. I have to fit this in while Millie is at daycare. And I do fit it in. I run into a friend whom I haven't seen for a long time. He has kept up with Ocean -- so, the winter of three dogs? I ask him if he has a pup himself. No, she died recently. And her last years were something else! First she went blind. That was okay. She could sniff her way around and still manage to get through the day. But then she went deaf and that was just too much! Well, Millie and I should be going blind and deaf at around the same time. Maybe we could both hope for a quick exit! 

I pick the girl up at noon. It was her longest stay at daycare for her and I am happy to say that she did just fine, though the person who is such a good dog caregiver told me that she bounds in ready to play with even the biggest dogs and is slowly learning that not all the big ones want to pay with her. Poor girl, rejected for her size! But this is what puppy socialization is all about: the dogs learn signals now, so that they can better interpret them as they get older.

And now to the farmette!

(old orchard pear, with violets and dandelions at her roots)

I drop off some groceries for Ed and he hops into the car for a trip to Oasis for lunch. We eat outside, and Millie stays in my lap and again, I have this feeling of utter peace. Sunshine, spring colors, coffee, a biscotti, Ed, Millie... Such a grand combination!

Back to the farmette now. Ed resumes his invasive bush whacking. I tell him that he now does four things on repeat: pickel ball, sleep, work, and whack away at the buckthorn. He agrees.

Millie enjoys her own moment of bliss.

 

 

 

I look around me. This is one of the best moments here: there are the daffodils of course, and the emerging tulips...

 

 

 

 

 

 

But the centerpiece of all this is the crab apple. Usually it flowers in the first days of May. This year? It's starting now!

 

 

I haven't left this place. I just wake up somewhere else now. But I still know every bush, every plant, every sapling that grows here. It's all still with me. And I am so glad that I'm not missing this annual rebirth of stuff that I planted. So very glad.

 

Back in the car! And she and I go to Kopke's Greenhouses. So much for not buying many plants this year! Another basket of flowers to block the construction view to the east. And as long as we are here, maybe a few strawberries for a pot? Maybe they'll bear fruit. Maybe.

At first, I keep Millie in the cart...

.... but she really hates this and the Kopke's staff people tell me that she is free to move around on her own four feet. They are dog friendly! Oh, are they ever dog friendly! She must have had a dozen people approach her for an ear rub. So many complements. Slowly, the pup relaxes. 

("tell me when you're done choosing already...")

 

 

Home now -- to do some planting and transplanting. Oh what a difference flowers make! I can suddenly see myself really enjoying the porch in the next coupe of months. Before I move again! 

 

 

 

Millie is completely wiped from her day of adventures. In the best of ways. Me? Well, I could do with some sleep as well! We'll see how that goes!

with so much love...  

World Book Day

One good celebratory moment after the next! What? You do not know that today is World Book Day? It's not made up -- it's a UNESCO designation. So there you have it -- love on the 21st, nature on the 22nd, and today -- books. The essentials for a happy life.

Data show that most Americans find no pleasure in reading books. (This is not to say they do not read -- there's plenty out there on the internet for them to take in.) In 2025, 40% of us read no books at all and another 27% read only 1-4 books. We are busy, stressed, distracted. No wonder books hold so little value for most of us.

My parents were readers, but quite iconoclastic in their approach to reading materials. My father read newspapers and political magazines. I dont remember ever seeing him with a book. My mother, on the other hand, was a voracious book reader before her vision started really failing her. But her reading ambitions were different than mine: she read to make herself more of an intellectual. She had educational shortfalls and this bothered her till the day she died. She subscribed to serious magazines and journals and she read often complicated articles, all masterfully written. What she digested from all of it is a bit of a mystery to me, but it hardly matters -- she surely improved herself in some fashion. How could she not? Even if you take in your own version of what the author intended, you're still thinking about deep issues, and this in some way is surely going to enrich your life. It did hers. And when in the end she stopped reading, her interest in life fizzled. (Books on tape did not interest her -- it had to be in the form of paper and print.)

Me, I love books. Always have, from the day I started reading (in Poland, very very early in life because in the deep country, there wasn't much else to do, especially in the winter, so my grandfather taught me to read). But my university years interfered with some of the great pleasures of reading. There was so much that I had to read! There was little joy in that, just pressure to get it done. Reading because you have to is very different from reading because you want to. 

A literary critic once said that it's one thing to give a book a good review, it's another to like it. Many good reviews are given to books that give the reader little pleasure. I rarely read those. I like losing myself in a text, in something that I can't wait to return to. And yes, one of the great joys of retirement has been the time I now have to read. I definitely belong to the 10% of Americans who read a great many books, though unlike my mother, I don't count. It cannot be trashy writing (or worse -- trashy editing). I hate that. But nor is it stuff that'll make a great intellectual out of me. That ship has long sailed. Thank goodness. No one to impress anymore. Not even myself.

 

It's a beautiful morning once again. A high of 80F/27C. Millie is bouncing off the walls with energy! Little girl, stick with the toys! Leave the shoes, chords, note pads, pillows, couch cushions alone!

I eat a mini breakfast outside. This may be the last April day warm enough for it. We're cooling down soon.

Why mini? Well, I have my (more or less) monthly breakfast with friends today. Since I plan to leave Millie in her crate, I take her out for a run just before I head out. Get her good and tired at the small dog park! 

There are no other dogs in this park. Not surprised -- it's the big canines that need the exercise before their owners go to work. 

 

 

But there is one visitor who comes over to retrieve a ball that went over the fence. Millie is delighted! Another BFF! 

After a 20 minute saunter, we return home. I close the crate door on her and head downtown to one of my friend's home.

(view from her unit)

The two of them have a small birthday celebration for me and I am touched by this. Being one who rarely remembers the birthdays of others, I can't imagine how people can be this good at looking after the special moments of their friends. I know, I know -- put it in your calendar already! And still, you have to remember to check your calendar. In advance no less. 

The food is great, and we linger over it as always, right into the noon hour.

When I return to Millie, I find that she is still a tired girl. Didn't she sleep at all in the three hours I was away? I do not know. 

I wake her to go to doggie daycare. And of course, I then pick up the kids. And her. And we return to Sally's House.  Where Millie is again stealing the show, stealing the children's hearts. 

.

 

 

(oh, the smell of warm croissants!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

(happiness is holding Millie) 

 
 

It's usually late when I return to my book of the moment. Oh, but it's a special time. Millie recognizes the routine by now. She settles in her crate, I prop up my pillows and return to my book.

with so much love... 

 

Earth Day

To have the day after my birthday designated as Earth Day is a gift. On one day I celebrate life, on the next -- I celebrate nature and the interconnectedness of all living things. And here, there is so much to celebrate.

I do know that planting flowers in tubs or baskets and putting these out on a porch is a strange way to give thanks for all plant life that is budding out there, but the beauty of these flowers is so great that I feel it provides that needed connection to the growing world (a connection that is otherwise so lacking on Sally's porch).

So, let's start off with a photo of breakfast on the porch. With flowers.

The morning is cool, but I don't care. The sun is out. It's going to be one heck of a day! Right Millie?

My pup is apprehensive when I start moving around as if to go somewhere. At her age and with her sensibilities, she'd rather keep things the same every day. She's not going to get her wish today! I do want her to have exposure to the new, the different. Already she got used to giant looming Ed. And she quickly learned to love the farmette lands. She has a good time at Tati's. She pulls to get into doggie daycare. And still, when she sees me getting ready to go down to the garage, she hides under the couch. I have to drag her out!

And today's adventure is extra challenging for her: I'm going to bicycle over to the farmette with her in the doggie carrier.

I think it's a fabulous ride! It's a perfect doggie seat because I am able to wrap my arm around her if she gets nervous and reassure her with kisses even as I am pedaling away. And of course, I feel immensely proud of her as we pass curious onlookers. Sweet pup, out for a ride!

 

At the farmette, Ed is digging away at the invasive buckthorn, back in the old orchard. Honestly, I think he does it just for the exercise that you need to put in to get these bushes out of there. He cant really weed the flower fields -- he has no idea what to pull or dig out, and he is a careless gardener, often stepping inadvertently on baby plants when going after a weed. So the flower fields remain untouched, but the buckthorn is slowly disappearing in an area which no one cares about.

It's a beautiful day to be at the farmette!

 (bucolic in the extreme)

 

 

 (she loves to roll in the cool grass, then sniff the air here...)

 

 

 

 

 (the new orchard)

She could stay here for a while, but I have things to do!

I come back to Sally's house and plant some alyssum in a tub. I love this annual for it's fragrance and I always had it in tubs at the farmette, but there the satisfaction was short-lived, as the chickens loved it equally much, and a favorite activity for them would be pecking off the tiny flowers. I can put a whole pot of it out on the porch and no one will eat it (right Millie?) . Remarkable.

Millie still hesitates to go out on the porch with me. She loves the openness of the farmette, but otherwise prefers the safety and comfort of enclosed spaces.  A crate, a toy basket, a snooze under the couch, or under the chairs. I know what she's thinking: maybe my human will leave me alone there... Maybe, Millie. Maybe!

Wednesday is a day without childcare. I zoom with friends: Diane has a dog that looks so much like Millie, even though their genetic heritage is completely different (hers is a Tibetan Terrier)!

 

 

And in the late afternoon, I take Millie out again -- this time to the dog park. Not exactly the one where Henry and Sadey loved to run. (And indeed, that whiff of sadness is strong for me as I pull up to the same parking lot.) Next to that park, there is a smaller enclosed space for smaller dogs. Given the fact that Millie has had tummy problems, I hesitated to take her there to run around with dogs, perhaps sick dogs, perhaps unvaccinated dogs, but in the middle of a Wednesday, those encounters are few and far between. And she does love to let loose her zoomies.

We bike over. She is a little terrified still, but again, I can wrap yourself around my pup and snuggle her as I ride along. From my perspective, it's a lovely ride!

And at the park, we encounter just two dogs, at different times. Neither is particularly interested in Millie and she's sorry about that, though she focuses on showering one of the owners with attention and love to compensate. And she runs. And sniffs. And has a great time.

The thing about this girl is that she hasn't yet accepted the fact that a call of her name and especially when thrown out with the command  COME, means that she has to run to me like crazy. Since she doesn't especially crave treats, there is little to motivate her to give up on sniffing other dogs across the fence in the big dog park and return to me. So I wait until this social girl gives up on them -- they are, after all, beyond reach -- and comes running back of her own accord.

I do think she is way overdressed for this weather. It's positively hot outside in the sun, and she is panting, and I did not bring water. We dont stay too long. And next time, I'll bring a thermos!

 

On Earth Day, I feel it is our obligation to plant something. My alyssum flowers feel a bit like it's a token effort, but I did weed a small corner of a farmette flower bed. Does that count? I'll do more when I move to Steffi's House. I promise.

 

 

with so much love...

73

I can't believe I started my daily postings on Ocean when I was just 50! What compulsion! I wrote a book about the first third of my life, the young part, I wrote Ocean about the latest third of my life, the, um, older part. I wrote journals about the stuff inbetween, but I threw those away. Thank God. When you write just for yourself, or at least when I wrote just for myself, I forgot about the part where a writer needs to learn how to edit even more than she needs to know how to write. 

So here I am at the unremarkable age of 73. Though I do think it's remarkable that I am up and running still at 73. When I was a kid, I hoped I'd make it to 50. That was in my gloomy adolescent period. Which lasted past my adolescence, though there were high points. Rarely on my birthdays though. Birthdays started being fun when the kids were born. It took me until then to realize that I really am not a party animal. So, small celebrations with people I love. Plenty special.

Do most people feel this way about their birth date? April 21st always loomed so large in my mind. Inflated, out of proportion to the event, which, after all, is just one birth out of trillions of others. Despite the insignificance of one human, one grain of sand in a multitude of others, I feel, quite selfishly actually, that this date is mine. Forget the fact that the date also belongs to Queen Elizabeth, John Muir, Charlotte Bronte and the less awesome Joe McCarthy. I might note that April, at least in America, is the second least common birth month (February, by virtue of its shortness takes the number one spot). But I think it's the most fabulous. And April 21st? What can I say, it thrills me.

I wake up, check the messages, the emails. As promised, this day's weather is just superb! Best April 21st ever. Sunny, in the 70sF (about 24C). I'm drunk with the spring feel to it. 

Millie is too. A happy pup!

I decide to do breakfast on the porch. With some of the plants outside now, to make it a little sweeter.

Millie isn't convinced that this is a change for the better. She permits a photo, then retreats to wait inside. 

 

 

Next on the agenda? We pick up Ed at the farmette...

 

 

 

... And drive along the beautiful rural roads...

 

 

 

... To the flower greenhouses that are my favorites: Natalie's and Kopke's. Not for the usual annual flower purchase this time. Just a combo pot (or two?) from each.

(Natalie's: "I want to go that way!")

("have you picked something yet?")

("Yes!")

(Kopke's: "not sure I like this cart...")

And back to the farmette lands. Oh, does Millie love walks  in the thick grasses here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then: lunch with Millie and Ed, at Tati's.

(At home: flowers from Ed)

 

 

After, Millie returns to doggie daycare, I pick up the kids. Sparrow, Snowdrop. I walk Goose, who is at home with a kennel cough.  The kids and I come back with Millie to Sally's House. 

(As usual, both kids fuss over Millie as if she were a delicate little butterfly) 

 

 

And the gang comes over, along with Ed, for a celebratory aperitif. We split a half bottle of champagne and we don't even finish it. This is what a 73rd birthday looks like! 

And there are presents. Lovely ones, picked by the kids, my daughter, friends.

(a photo of me with the three of them)

 

 (wait, lets get the parents into this!)

 

They leave, Ed brings a pizza, we turn on a show that is more my choice than his, though I tend to always want stuff that I know he'll like because it's more fun that way, so it's him deferring to me who then picks something that defers to his taste palate.

And finally, I watch a very special video from my two in Chicago...

And the day comes to a close.

How can I not be nuts about this moment in time when joy, love abound? So much good in my life, our lives... So much! I'm very, very grateful. An ancient 73 year old is feeling very very grateful. And, if I allow myself to ignore on this day the news of the world, I can indulge in feeling just plain happy.

with all my love...