adjustments

If you read through rescue adoption materials, you'll come across timelines for when you can expect your dog to feel "at home." No longer worried about the possibility of loss. No, it's not several weeks into the game. It's several months. I see this in Henry: he may be frantic about strangers outside, but he is calm as anything at home. He knows his routines, he knows my routines. He knows key words. Despite the changes in housing, he is not unsettled. Sure, Sadey can still rattle him, and yes, he worries about me shifting my priorities, but at the gut level -- he's secure in our little bubble. 

Sadey, on the other hand, can fool you still. She seemed happy from day one, but I do think her tendency to pant is easily mistaken for a smile of joy. (In the same way that Henry's mournful eyes can be mistaken for sadness.) Sadey is not super reactive, but I can hear her whining when I take Henry out for a walk. And she absolutely needs to move with me in the course of the day. There's still that thought that I may disappear.

 

I tweak things a little to make for an even smoother morning. I'm back to giving Henry a stream of treats on our morning walk.

This is the one important thing I learned from the dog trainer: we are so used to rewarding our dogs for good behavior, that we fall into the habit of withholding treats when our dog does something we dont like. My way of handling Henry's barking and lunging at strangers was to first calm him down through redirection and then reward that with a treat -- "good calm Henry!" -- were my words of choice. But Chelse (the dog behaviorist) suggested that Henry is feeling total fear and anxiety at the sight of strangers and my job is to change his associations: give treats at the first sight of a stranger and make that a good experience. Stranger out there? Great! I get a special treat! -- is what we want him to think. It's not unlike my teaching him to pay attention on leash to me, by constantly feeding him treats as he walks by my side. I used to do that at the Edge to keep him from focusing on the holy terror of someone emerging from an apartment unit or the death trap, aka the elevator. Now I started doing it at the sight of other people across the street, or walking their own dog.

Sadey -- well, yes, I need to start in on her leash behaviors, but I'm going slowly here, because I know she is not yet comfortable with the idea that a leash means potty time.

No tweaks needed for our breakfasts! She knows she is fed in the other room and that she has to sit before I put the dish down. Henry is fabulous at sit-stay and I continue to do this with him before every meal. And my own breakfast? Oh, it's perfection itself!

And then we all rest. On the couch. I have found a way to accommodate both dogs!

 

 

It's true that I cannot move much once seated. If I get up, Sadey will get up, disturbing the whole balance. But over time, I managed to keep her in her place for a quick few steps to set up my camera. It may not mean much to you, the reader, but I count this as a success: to keep Sadey in place, to make room for Henry, to have us all relax, together. And to capture it all in a photo.

 

I drop off the dogs at doggie daycare, pick up groceries, return home and strategize. I have some planning to do: for late March, for mid June, for early July. Those may seem like far off dates, but the fact is, I haven't had a minute for any of it all winter long. What makes me think that I can put it off to some later date when I will be less busy? If I am indeed less busy, it doesn't take long for me to fill the hours with new projects.  So I start in on my planning and before long it's time to go get the kids.

(it's "wear something with writing on it" day in school)

It's Sparrow's turn to select a treat place. Hubbard Avenue Diner, for their pie!

Off then to Sally's house, and toward evening we backtrack: to drop off the kids at home, to pick up the dogs at daycare. To plug my ears with noise cancelling ear plugs for when Henry decides that the stranger walking along the sidewalk is there to destroy us all.

At home, dogs eat, I eat, I claim the middle of the couch, Sadey is on my left...

... Henry is on my right.

With kids, you adjust your mindset all the time. Every year, no, every week, something new comes up and with it comes an even better (though never perfect) understanding of what fuels them. Maybe it's that way with dogs too? Sadey just heard a beep on the TV. She wakes up startled, sits up quickly, ready to face the enemy. Henry doesn't bat an eye. It's so easy to accept Sadey as your velcro dog who never misses a chance to wiggle in for a cuddle. But she is also a scared little pup. That fear didn't go away. Yet. She may not bark as much, but she is perhaps even more sensitive to the very real dangers that she faced on the streets of Houston.

 

Did you see the Blood Moon today?  Shining brightly here, over our still frozen Wisconsin landscape...

with so much love... 

 

oh, my pups!

It's the perfect wake-up. Henry first, then Sadey, by my bed, wagging, licking, putting on a happy welcome to the morning at 6:45. 

As always, I have trepidations about taking Henry out. It's either going to be a perfect, calm, ten minute stroll through the neighborhood, or someone will emerge from somewhere and his hair will stand up and the barking and pulling will begin. I will redirect and he will quiet down, but still, I give a nervous glance in all directions, hoping that today peace will prevail. And it does. We see no one. Henry is calm.

Next comes Sadey the pull dog. With her, the challenge is in teaching her to hang back with me. We are nowhere near that skill level! The second challenge is to get her to do her stuff. Usually we are at least in part successful.

And then comes the best part of the morning -- I feed them, I prepare fruits for the kids, I sit down to my own breakfast, with book in hand. 

 

 

 

The dogs know to leave me alone now. They rest and I keep on reading until the construction activity outside heats up to such an extent that the two hounds are off and woofing away at the window. Okay, pups. Let's head to doggie daycare. 

It's not a hard trip at all, though I am now mindful of the fact that the peace in the backseat is not altogether a perfect peace. This weekend, as I was tidying the car, I noticed that someone -- most likely Henry -- chewed up the passenger seat belt. To shreds. How much will that one cost me, Henry? I am sure going to take it out of your allowance! Sigh...

I have a 10 a.m. meeting with the fence people putting up a fence at Steffi's House, where I am not yet living, but will move to this summer. I look at the area about to be fenced -- just a portion of the side yard, right by the construction taking place next door.

It's such a small space that I can hardly regard it as the dogs' future playground. Convenient for potty breaks, but not in any way adequate for my two high energy pooches who need to run! Still, let's not make light of the convenience factor: it will be super nice to just let them out.

I then have my first consult with the dog trainer who specializes in working with reactivity issues in dogs. I went over the trouble spots with her and she reflected on how I might proceed. Honestly, she did not say a lot that I did not already know, but we did schedule a meeting with the dogs to go over some of the behavioral bits that I may want to emphasize That's one component. Another is calming meds for Henry. If it wouldn't have been rude to do so, I'm sure she would have laughed heartily at the pickle I find myself in: two large barking dogs, both high energy, both tightly strung, both the same crazy adolescent age. You could not ask for a greater challenge! Still, she remains optimistic! That, of course, is her job.

Ed comes over for lunch. Well, I eat my granola bars while he exhales. 

 

 

Nice and quiet here right now -- he tells me. What he means is "it's very pleasant without having Sadey bark nonstop at me." True, she chose to greet him with suspicion, but she wasn't hostile and began to warm up to him in the course of the evening. I retort -- she'd bark less if you were here with her more; it's not as if I can bring them over to the farmhouse because of your cats... From him -- true, it would disturb them... You might think that we'd whittled down our areas of divergence to this: which pets have a right to their behaviors at which location!

In the afternoon I pick up the two big kids -- first Sparrow, then Snowdrop.

And we go to Sally's House.

(reading a letter from their cousin)

Then, more shuttling -- to his Taekwondo, and finally -- to pick up my dogs.  

My troubled, loving, beautiful dogs. Besieged by life. At home, I feed them, I feed me, we share the couch -- Sadey to my left, Henry to my right. This is such progress! Henry has sulked on the floor as Sadey hopped on to join me each night. Tomorrow, one will pull too hard again, one will bark his head off at a pedestrian two miles away. But what stays with me is the warmth of this moment. Him and her, trusting, hoping that when they wake up, nothing will change. We'll still be here, together, my two dogs and me.

with so much love... 

... and back again

Last night, Primrose asked me if I liked having crazy Sadey around. (I had described how I left two chocolates in the rear corner of the counter in the evening and later the next day I noticed that there was only one. Chocolate, in case you don't know, is a real poison for dogs. Just one example of the vigilance required!) I told her the truth: adding Henry, then Sadey to my home has added a lot of work for me. The day is often more difficult because of them. But, tell me one thing in life that feels rewarding and great that is not difficult! I love having the two pooches, despite the hardships that came with adopting two rescue dogs that are active, often fearful, and yes -- sometimes nuts! 

Nevertheless, it was nice to wake up and not rush out in the cold weather to be dragged by a forceful dog who doesn't know how to walk on a leash! You appreciate such small luxuries when they aren't part of your everyday!

I look outside. I lived in New York, Manhattan no less, for nearly ten years of my life so I should not be surprised by these stacked homes, one on top of another, next to more structures with equally stacked homes and yet, when I see them now, it seems so overwhelming...

 

 

 

I Uber over to the young family's home in time for breakfast. They sweetly waited for me, even though I dont get there until after 9 -- hours, I'm sure, after their get up and get moving time!

My focus is on the girls: they play with their mice... 

 

 

 

... and I fit in another Uno game (or two) with Primrose -- we're now up to 8 wins to the girl, 4 for me!

 

 

 

And then it's time to head out to lunch.

My daughter wants to try out a place where she can reliably get pierogi for a future school event. A friend of Polish background recommended Jolly Inn -- apparently an institution in Chicago's Polish community. 

The place is large and it serves an all-you-can-eat buffet of Polish foods. Three types of pierogi, sure, but these are just a small fraction of everything there. Meats that I did not even examine. Potatoes prepared variously, many types of cabbage -- both in raw salad form and in the traditional hunters stew. Fish, barley and mushroom soup, chicken noodle soup, blintzes, fried apple pancakes, potato pancakes, kielbasa, you name it, they have it. Here's just a small sample:

(bigos -- a cabbage stew -- not just one)

(pierogi -- potato, cabbage and mushroom, meat)

(salads: cabbage, beets, cucumbers...)

(kids' interest in the dessert selection? high.)

(my plate)

 

The staff all speak Polish and that's the language of choice as you enter. Our waitress is young: she came to Chicago just a couple of years ago, to visit her grandfather (the rest of the family is back in Poland). She liked it, she stayed. But many of the others are Polish only by virtue of having Polish-American parents. Yet they all speak Polish perfectly and of course I got chastised for never teaching my own kids Polish. (Notably, both daughters are doing online lessons in the language.)

The food? Well, it's old Poland. Stuff that was prepared in many kitchens when I was growing up (if there were meats available in the store -- not at all a given). It was so very strange for me to be immersed in it all again, with this very American family of mine. Yes, my daughter has been to Poland with me. Twice in fact. But it was to visit almost as a tourist. I'd kept my Polishness to myself most of the time. And now here we are...

(she liked the jello dessert)

 

 

(they both liked the applesauce...) 

 

It was, as always, so very sad to leave them all. The drive back is in a way easier, because I lose myself in processing the beautiful weekend. The hours just fly. [And at home, I quickly book my next Chicago trip. Not until April but hey, that's next month because today we start in on March. The month of spring!]

 

I drop off my bags and drive to Camp K9 to pick up the two pooches. How were they? I suppose you could break up the answer to a before and after. Their report card was great! Ate a lot, "sweet and loving," played well, shared a kennel without issue. But though they had time on Saturday at the Camp "daycare," meaning play time with other dogs, today they only had 20 minutes of doggie frolic. Hmmm... that wont be enough for them. I do understand that Sunday does not offer hours of "daycare"  play, but still, I'm going to have two wild dogs at home if they spent the day basically in the kennel. 

Should I take them to the dog park? 

The obvious answer is "no, I should not." Henry still barks at some people, up close and personal. Aren't I inviting trouble? 

 I drive past our nearby park. At sunset time, there aren't many people giving their pooches a good run. And the entryway is free of scary people. It would be so good for them...

And it is good for them. They run crazily, chasing mostly each other, playing with the gusto of two dogs with too much energy. 

Nonetheless, it wasn't the best idea I ever had. My pooches were too wound up, too thrilled with their freedom, too hyper. Henry found his barking targets and he added jumps to the mix. The people were understanding, but I was mortified. The dog park needs to hit a pause button. Such a shame...

 

 

On the upside, the pups had their exercise. After a raucous homecoming, a supper finished in five seconds, a few minutes chewing in separate quarters, they found their comfortable spots and settled down to a nice quiet rest. And I did too. Eventually. 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow, I get serious about dog training. Spring resolutions! Because really, we're starting the season of new ideas and great transformations!

with so much love... 

 

to Chicago

Winter is a tough time for meetups with my Chicago younger daughter and her family. It's tough for them for all the obvious work/school/activities reasons and it's tough for me because at the end of a busy week, I do not find the drive there and back to be as easy as it once was. I've made that trip to the city hundreds of times since I moved to the greater Madison area in 1979. It's not at all a hard route to drive, it's more that I am less patient with the monotony of highway driving. It's more tiring than a hike up a steep mountain. Okay, perhaps not that, but in the winter it always seems strenuous. 

And yet, if I want to see the grandgirls going about the business of growing up, driving down is the easiest way to do this. It's been a couple of months since I've traveled there and I almost postponed my trip yet again. It's not the ideal time to put Henry and Sadey in a kennel. She is so new to life up here with me that I hate to throw this on her, though honestly, I don't think one night at Camp K9 is going to make her or break her. And I haven't yet celebrated my daughter's birthday (which was actually in January) yet! I told Ed to mind the house. A nice place to hang out, I should think!

And after the usual doggie wake up, after the walk...

 

And breakfast of course - theirs and mine...

After a few last barks at the neighborhood dogs...

I load the car with my tote, with very late birthday gifts, a bag of foods for the campers, and of course, the campers themselves.

I'm thinking. -- there's no way I'll get through the drop-off at the kennel without a fuss. I'm prepared for the struggle to get them inside. 

But there is no struggle! Is it because of Sadey being there at his side that, despite a slight tremor, Henry gallantly walks inside? What a relief!

 

The plan is for me to get to Chicago in time for lunch. Light traffic helps!

 

 

Thinking Polish thoughts, my daughter fixes a noodles with strawberries dish that has Polishness written all over it. Literally -- makaron z truskawkami. Juniper helps put it all together.

Primrose comes back from dance class in time to join us and to share in the desserts from Mindy's.

 

 

 

 

 

And then it's a laid back hangout time -- the best of the best for me. Six games of Uno with Primrose, all of which I lost, not for lack of trying. Summer planning. Dog stories, recalled. Lovely moments that make the trips here so very worthwhile!

 

We go to eat dinner at one of the neighborhood favorites -- Bar Parisienne.  Such good food! Such a fine evening!

I'm tempted to linger at their home afterwards. Primrose is practicing her piano, Juniper is in a playful mood, but I am tired enough that I resist the temptation. It didn't help that last night, my pooches raised a ruckus at 12:30 a.m. because the neighbors decided to let their dog out for a post midnight run outside. Time for me to retreat to my room at the downtown hotel, where for once I dont even have a great view to distract me. A few minutes on the computer, a few more with my book, and I'm out. That's the hope!

with so much love... 

information

Having adopted two rescue dogs in this past year, I have learned so much about the process! Of course, I have known for a long time that there are too many dogs out there that need homes. Strays, sheltered, fostered. The numbers just keep growing. And so if you are a shelter, you will do a lot to home your dogs, because there is a line waiting to come into your quarters. 

Good shelters do not lie about their dogs. It's not their intention for a pup to go into a home, any home as quickly as possible, if that dog is going to be a poor match to your household. What they do, however, is emphasize the good in each dog. The hope is that these traits will blossom and that you will fall in love with the dog and (perhaps enthusiastically, but more likely grudgingly) deal with any problems that may arise.

There is a bit of a sales pitch going on here. If your dog looks anything at all like a black lab (Henry) or a golden retriever (Sadey), then that's what you'll read to be their likely genetic mix. Black labs and golden retrievers are desirable family pets. And yes, labels and breeds are not necessarily an indicator of the dog's temperament, but they're not irrelevant. 

I had more information on Sadey than I did on Henry who was never fostered. Her temperament was described in great detail. I spoke to and texted with the foster mom about her. I asked for any at all signs of trouble. She said there were none: Sadey was an affectionate saint in her opinion.

None of this is incorrect. Sadey is in fact a sweet dog. An affectionate pup. Indeed, a velcro dog that wont leave my side (much to Henry's dismay). 

Now, after two weeks with her and some genetic testing, I'll tell you what she is not. She is not leash trained at all. She is strong and she pulls and she is only now realizing that she has to treat walks as potty time. She is not immediately happy to see people. The term used to describe her -- "all sweetness" misses the part where she barks at strangers during our walks. Unlike Henry, she doesn't also growl and if you approach a human, chances are she'll be happy to make friends with them  (Henry takes longer), but she is not just a complete people lover, automatically friends with anyone she sees. She is also likely not two years and two months old. Probably younger (according to the vet). She is hyperactive, suggesting youthfulness and/or a breed mix that leans toward that behavior.

Finally, though "sold" as a lab/golden retriever  mix (the friendliest of the friendly!), her DNA test indicates that she is only 12% Labrador Retriever and only 1% Golden Retriever. So what breeds dominate in her? Not ones I would have ever considered for a pet pooch: German Shepherd (32%) and here's one I would have liked to avoid -- Belgian Malinois (20%). As in all these Texas dogs, there are also traces of Pitbull and American Staffordshire  -- something I knew you couldn't avoid. (And there are tiny, really tiny bits of fun breeds in her: Poodle, Beagle, American Eskimo Dog. And not so fun but luckily also tiny bits of the Chow-Chow -- which, as far as I can tell, is the least affectionate dog on the planet.)

So, basically Sadey is mostly a German Shepherd with stronger strains of the Belgian Malinois and weaker strains of a Labrador Retriever. 

Uff! If labels could send shivers, I think that these would have had me shaking a bit! But these breed strains are just that -- strains. Disposition is uniquely formed by many factors and you don't know which breed is dominating in which physical or temperamental category, nor how much she conforms to that breed standard anyway. 

I discussed this and all other dog matters with Aimee (the Director of the doggie daycare and the dog  training program). Her sister Julie assists there as well and Julie is a true dog whisperer -- Henry loves her to pieces and she has assessed Sadey too as a "very sweet" dog. Nonetheless, the Malinois strain in Sadey has put me on alert to ratchet up the training of these dogs -- Henry for his reactiveness and Sadey -- well, she needs to be more responsive to commands. Right now she doesn't know many, and isn't good at sustaining any of them.  I've been so busy that I've been only haphazardly keeping up with them. Too, I have yet to figure out how I can work with just one dog at a time. But this is work that must be done. The two weeks of introductions and observations were fine and they were needed -- for her, for Henry, for me. But now I really have to take this seriously because a bored or untrained Malinois will surely wreck my house and my days. (I know, I know -- she's not really a Malinois and not all Malinois are of the same disposition, but still, it's a reminder!)

 

The day now has a double start time for me. Sort of like an alarm clock that you put on snooze and then it comes back to try to wake you once more. At around six, someone must be arriving or leaving somewhere nearby because both dogs run downstairs then, barking. I ignore them, aside from issuing a loud command directing them to be quiet, which of course they choose to ignore.

Then comes the second wake-up (on the off chance that you fell asleep again after the racket). This second one is indeed lovely. Licks, jumps, kisses of excitement.

We go out on our walk. 

Both dogs are pokey today. I dont know why. Distractions perhaps. Sadey is still pulling hard and I'm still too lazy and forgetful to use her harness.

 

 

I feed them, and sit down to breakfast, and look over at the computer to read the results of Sadey's DNA tests.

Well, I was equally surprised with Henry. Sold as a black lab, he had 0% of that in him and carried instead significant amounts of Rottweiler (38%) followed by equal parts Doberman (12%), Siberian Husky (11%), and Great Pyrenees (11%).  To me, he looks and acts like a Dobbie. The good sides of a Dobbie!

I take my mutts to day care, feeling grateful for it, despite the hefty bite that it takes out of my monthly budget. Both dogs need lots of stimulation and socialization. They get it at day care.

 

In the afternoon, I pick up Snowdrop way at the other side of town ...

 

 

... and take her to her Shakespeare play performance, closer to home. 

Then it's back to that corner of the woods to get the dogs. And home again. Ed comes over tonight, for dinner and a movie. This is a good thing for me, but also for the dogs. It's never a good idea, I dont think, to associate their home with just one person -- me. Henry, of course, is overjoyed. 

 

 

Sadey is still more cautious. I'm happy for Henry. He hasn't had many belly rubs since the girl has arrived. With Ed, he is not shy about staying by his siade the whole evening and getting his share of cuddles.

With kids and dogs taking up so much of my time, I feel sometimes like I've slipped over the edge to their world, forgetting what it's like to actually be in the company of adults. Bad enough that I mix up my doggie names, saying good girl, Henry and good boy Sadey way too often. I also function with an eye and ear to their issues. I'm sure this will pass, but still, in these stages of grandkid lives and young dog ownership, I need to be in the presence of big people more. Ed qualifies!

With so much love... 

 

construction

Honestly, I do not care much that there is construction all around me. This too shall pass. Too, it's not my forever home -- not even my for-a-year home. It's so comfortable for the three of us that everything else becomes almost irrelevant. But the construction does bring with it some interesting quirks. For example, I've learned not to leave the car outside because at the end of the day it will be covered with dirt. The wind will blow it right over to my front door. Then, too, I have taken to walking the two dogs (one at a time) at just before 7. Both Sadey and Henry bark at strangers, though Sadey will befriend the person right away if given the opportunity to do so. Henry? I would say it's not a given. If you have construction by your residence, you'll know that the trucks and workers start arriving for the 7 a.m. shift. My quiet neighborhood suddenly comes alive with men getting to their jobs, and my dogs barking their heads off at them. It's not a peaceful start to the day!

(waiting...)

 

 

On the upside, even before my session with the reactive dog trainer next week, I know that if I keep a treat near the pup's mouth, he or she will focus on my hand rather than on the action up the street. So we practice this and yes, and it's a drag to have to work hard at it, and I'm very happy once we finish our morning walk and they're fed and I can sit down to my cup of coffee and granola.

This day is positively lackadaisical in my approach to it compared with yesterday. We have our morning routine and it is lovely. Both dogs greet me in the morning so joyously that it warms the heart, we walk, we eat, I put on classical music and go over the plans for the day while my pooches nap. 

Doggie daycare, a few errands, a stop at the farmette, home again. And I turn my back on lists, prompts, to-do thoughts and pick up my book and read for a solid hour. Bliss.

Kid pickups are a little off today because I must get Sparrow, then Snowdrop and I must feed her, which means him as well, and then deliver her to the Shakespeare group. She's starting with the Henry IV performances tonight (though only as tech crew today). And I'm going to have to skip the play this time around, since going out in the evening would require special boarding arrangements for my dogs and they already have some Camp days coming up. Besides, the play is long! I am the grandmother who skips her grandkids' plays, what can I say... 

(afternoon spent in car)

 

 

 

 

 

And after dropping her off,  then him, I return to the doggie daycare for my pooches. Sadey, I have some good news -- you're all clear with the heart worm! She looks at me with eyes that ask if this warrants a food treat. 

I make a pot of chili, they watch to see if this is a meal that they may share in. When it is obvious that their supper is long over, they retreat -- she to one couch, he to the other -- and rest. 

They are like the tots for whom your heart swells as you watch their rhythmic breathing and small dreamy twitches. Bag full of worries, capable of messing up your space in a matter of seconds, but so joyous and grateful to be with you, taking in each day with utter enthusiasm and confidence that you will be there for them and they for you.

 

(fridge magnets) 

 

...and so much love...