I tell Ed that he is the worst boyfriend material! He responds with a grin -- the worst! Terrible! -- I add, laughing. This Valentine's Day you outdid yourself in neglect!
In those words are seeds of true love. A love so solid and unshakable that you can say the opposite of what's in your heart and it wont ruffle a feather. Indeed, it will be understood as an expression of an abiding affection.
Ed, is, of course, an extraordinary BF and partner in life. Seemingly not keyed into emotion, he appears lost in his world of machine design, sail boats -- the usual Ed stuff. And yet, he'll notice my every shift in tone, my slightly askew movement, my excessively quiet stance and ask -- everything okay? He knows me so well that he intuits all that is not on course. And yes, I surely can do the same for him, though no one will be surprised by that, since I study the guy with eyes wide open and I listen for what's on his mind without expecting an articulation of any sort.
Valentine's Day is a game for us. He'll go along with the usual -- flowers, chocolates, a special meal, maybe a card -- so long as I lead him to the places I like for any of the above. This year, I did ask for a bunch of tulips and indeed picked them out myself...
... but otherwise, I let him be. He was busy, I was busy. We have enough chocolate bars. I've a nice stack of cards from past years. And so I let him off the hook with everything. Besides, he's scheduled to go to work for the day, and I have my poster boards, and my ideas, and the kids. Still, it's fun to poke him a little. Terrible, just terrible! Not meaning a word of it.
And he knows it.
* * *
Love, of course, is not just what you feel toward the person you live with. Love governs your behavior in every way as you shape your day to include your kids, grandkids, friends. I love so many in that compilation.
And they know it!
* * *
Speaking of positive feelings, I have some today toward a few whom I have never met. A woman who is corresponding with me about a future trip, for example. She is so charming and helpful! I just love her form, her effort! Too, there is someone who sent me a postcard in the mail -- a stunning picture of spring blossoms, even though she herself is facing autumn (in Australia). Just beautiful!
I also have very warm feelings toward Anne Lamott, a writer whose stuff I have long admired. She is my age and today she writes a piece about the virtues of our advancing years. There are not many people I know who approach old age with humor and without the self absorption that is so common (too common!) as physical strength diminishes and we continue to make adjustments for newfound frailties. So when I find someone who understands the necessity of being delightful in the face of challenges, I am going to give her my full attention!
Since I've not used my free links to Wash Po articles this month, I can give you Anne Lamott, on "a superpower of old age," here. So much humor and wisdom in her piece! So much to love.
* * *
The two older kids are here after school of course and I do have a pang of regret that I did not commemorate their Valentine's Day with anything concrete. Of course, they don't need anything and surely adding candy to their loot is not a great idea, but I feel I should do something to let them know that this day they are extra special. So we go out for ice cream.
* * *
I come home from drop-off and find a card propped on the table. With Ed, expect the unexpected.
An evening on the couch. I defrosted two tiny lobster tails, leftover from New Year's Eve. We turned on the big screen and settled in for an evening of blissful togetherness.
Happy Valentine's Day!
With so much love...
