Yesterday I gave you (those nearing retirement) a sample of a retiree's day. An average one for us, though of course, there's no such thing as average across all demographic categories. People have lifelong issues that they struggle with and they don't magically disappear once you start receiving Medicare or Social Security (for those living in the US). Today, I think I'll go inside our heads. Because one thing I did not realize before retirement is how much opportunity you have, now that you're not constantly fretting about your job or putting the kids through college, to reinvigorate, or even reshape your mindset. This was a stunning and wonderful realization for me. To work on becoming more like the person you always wanted to be, but hadn't the time or patience for it. At retirement, both time and patience are there for you. (Well, mostly so.)
Here's just one domain where you can take some steps: I have read (in a reliable news source, though I dont remember which one) that older people are of two types -- those who feel a burning need to share their accumulated wisdom with those in their purview (these are seniors with a shattering amount of commentary, advice and judgment on the life of another), and then there are those who don't feel that compulsion. And I read that it is a compulsion. If you're in that first camp, you just can't help yourself: every encounter is a new window for you to instruct, to convey events from your life that you believe will inform the next generation (or your peers!) in some fashion on how they should proceed.
So you have a path to choose right away: will you be in the first camp, or will you concentrate on your own life and spew forth your emergent wisdom only when someone asks you for it?
I can't say that it moves along a straight line. You may want to share wisdoms but aren't good at it and so you constantly seek to up your advice giving on the theory that the more you talk, the more they'll listen. Or, you may be wanting to stay focused on your own life, but find yourself wondering if sometimes someone is hinting at you to step in and give them some guidance. So it's not an all or nothing deal. But, here's the key for me: I know I am like Ed in at least this one regard: we both like to stay away from reflecting on choices made by friends, family, colleagues. He wont do it even when asked. I'm not so absolute in that regard, but I'm fully aligned with this idea, our idea -- that people's lives are complicated and we, even as older wiser types, are in no position to judge choices made by others. So we don't. And this really feels right for us. How great that we have this choice on how to proceed. And you will have it too. And I'm not going to tell you which is right or wrong, just that you will have that choice!
From there flow any number of consequences: you can choose your focus, too! On the joys in your life, on the aches and pains that are sure to visit you every day, on the seasonal wonders, on anything! And you will be remembered for it: there goes that woman who was obsessed with lupines and liked to plant them every spring! (Remember that kids' book?) Or -- there is that smell of baking blueberry muffins that we so associate it with my grandma's constant baking of blueberry muffins! And how about those pillow fights! (That would be Ed's domain.) I didn't think much about it until I became an older person, but it's true -- the memories you leave behind are ones that you make now. And you have a wide variety of options on what kind you want to construct.
All this of course is in your head. But there's the beauty of it --you can be creative! It's a new opportunity and I love that it comes late in life and that it is completely yours and there are no rights or wrongs -- you are in charge!
I was thinking about this even before I got up this morning. Ed had come up for a few minutes, but then went right back down, because he is just spinning right now about the steps needed to put his newest design into production mode. Me, I go outside. And now the ratio of ice to mud has shifted! 80% mud and 20% ice! A huge March step forward!
Breakfast: I make blueberry muffins (because lupines do not do that well in our soil). And we devour them at breakfast.
Both Ed and I are still managing knee issues, nonetheless, we put ourselves to the challenge of a short-ish walk. In back of farmette lands.
And coming back, I glance at the road-side bed and I see this:
Wow. Daffodil buds. And it's jut March 1st! Awesome and scary all at the same time!
In the afternoon, Snowdrop is here. She is back to her tree love.
And she is back to her blueberry muffin love.
And eventually, when I drop her off, and after I pick up our spinach from our winter spinach farmers, I pause to take in the sunset. It's not the most spectacular sunset we've had this winter, but it's a beautiful March 1st sunset and it makes me happy.
Frittata for dinner, with the spinach of course. And lots of eggs, because we have too many eggs! The hens are out of control with their laying.
What a beautiful beginning to a month that will bring with it spring! Absolutely beautiful!
