I think we should rebuild the barn. I say this to Ed over breakfast.
Why?
Because one of the corner posts is rotted through and I'm sure the structure will topple once that's gone.
It's been that way for years. It will outlive us.
In the alternative, we could finish building the writers shed.
Why?
So that we could offer it to guests who come to stay here.
How often would that be?
Often enough.
Anything else?
Well, we could get going on that planned greenhouse and of course, there are trees we could take down...
The conversation ends there. We will, of course, do none of those things. Ed's veto power is exercised often and without hesitation. (Me, I go along with most proposed projects, so he never gets to feel the sting of defeat.) I retreat to the couch and pick up my Etsy search of throw pillow covers. At least eventually I will find pillow covers that I like and the farmhouse living space will feel refreshed. I hope.
All this is, of course, the product of the disappointment we all feel with the slowed vaccination effort and the resultant Delta surge. You want to throw yourself into projects so that you can distract yourself from the reality of new pandemic numbers. After reading too many articles about how one's inner rage (which is unproductive) should be replaced with empathy and compassion (equally unproductive, I might add), you dial down your level of frustration and look to places where you can work on releasing your creative energies. I thought designing a new barn (have you ever seen our wreck of a barn? It's terrible!) would be a great project. Of course, Ed is not one to have inner frustration or rage, nor is he looking for new farmette projects. Planting 67 trees this spring was hard enough. I'm sure he feels a ten or maybe twenty year break from great idea implementation is warranted. Breakfast ends, predictably, on an impasse.
We had another rainy night and so I could turn toward the weeds that are enormous and ever present in all the flower beds. And I do a little bit of spot weeding early in the day, but honestly, I have that August ennui that sets in right about now. I don't care that there are weeds. I don't care that there are spent stalks. It all looks good enough!
In the afternoon I lose myself in dinner preparation. This is a good thing. Music plays in the background, the sauces simmer, the table is set. And the young family comes and they are an even better distraction than raising a new barn!
(Sandpiper needed a change of shirts... I have something! this was his brother's last summer!)
("bothering Ed" -- enjoyed by the older kids and by Ed)
Another day of clouds, high humidity, the occasional shower. We have four more of those ahead of us! It's proving to be a very interesting and not altogether predictable summer! Most of all, through it all, we remain grateful. So very grateful: for the vaccines, for staying healthy thus far.
With love....
