My vacation from childcare continues for one more day and therefore I give myself time this morning to snip and once again -- think in the rambling fashion one does when the flowers are beautiful and the bugs are only slightly menacing.
I think about the Barbie movie, about the Karen story that flooded social media, and about Karolcia. I'm sure you've been following the analysis of the movie (it's sufficiently "of our time and age" that I will one day watch it. In flight, once it makes its way to airline pics). And perhaps you caught the furor over the e-bike grab in New York? (The story is not so much in the incident, where either a white pregnant woman took a bike that a Black youth felt was his, and then threatened to get the whole pack of youth in trouble, or the Black youth grabbed a bike from a white pregnant woman and harassed her -- it's unclear which version is the true one and it hardly matters, because the story, I think, is in the condemnation that followed.) I'm sure you know nothing about Karolcia. I'll get to her, so that I can weave these three into one thread for you, the thread that was running through my head this morning.
I first read about the Karen story today in the NYT, having missed the whole social media hullaballoo over the incident. My immediate reaction was to think -- wow, two victimized demographic groups (Black youths, middle aged women of any race), caught in a fracas, while the populace roars. Ed had a different take. You know, the white woman isn't going to get put in jail or held down in a chokehold for causing trouble. Yes, but her life is all messed up as a result of the social media posting! Here we are, arguing who has been dealt a lousy hand! [In the article, the author tells us which one she believes was culpable. This was, in my view, a mistake. People jumping to conclusion and spouting opinions without being in possession of all the facts is at the root of so much of what's wrong with us today!]
Essentially Ed is correct, of course: the Black youths are at greater risk of being held accountable for any alleged misstep and indeed, in the comments, most readers are quick to condemn the young guys, even with an absence of all the information. But this should not lead us to dismiss the gender issues that continue to plague that demographic. Black men get shot. Women face aggression and omission.Youth gangs can spell trouble. White women accusing Black men can cause trouble. Both are in untenable positions!
Recently, in reading comments to the Barbie discussion in the press, I've picked up this new optimism in forward thinking men, often dads of daughters. They write of their "strong girls" with pride. Fiercely independent young women who wont put up with any bullshit! Oh yeah? Have they been tested? And why is it that women need to be strong anyway? What if they're weak? Don't they deserve a decent life? Not everyone is primed to fight just to stay afloat. It all reminded me of how so many were convinced that we were done with racism when Obama got elected president. Ha.
Which brings me around to a kinder, gentler world of Karolcia. It's a Polish book (published in 1959), gifted to me sometime when I was 6. I lived in Warsaw and in those years (or perhaps just in my family), we weren't in the habit of going to bookstores to pick out books for kids, but somehow Karolcia ended up in my hands and I read the book many, many times (and not only because I had few others to devour). The story is simple and lovely and just a tiny bit sad: a little girl finds a blue bead. It has magic powers. It grants wishes. An evil woman tries to steal it from her, but Karolcia is smart. Chapter after chapter, she perseveres. She hangs on to the magic blue bead. But as soon as Karolcia is done with wishing impulsively for small trinkets and dumb add ons, she notices that with each wish, the magic fades. As does the color of the bead. Until it is almost bereft of blue. She has only one wish left.
Karolcia is generous with this one: she asks that everyone has their wishes come true. Sick children heal, the playground is full of happy little ones.
I never really believed that beads could have magic powers and yet, I thought hard about wishing and granting wishes and whether Karolcia could have had greater success by simply wishing for an extended life of the bead. Wishing for more wishes. Or is that greedy? Perhaps more importantly, this book was my first introduction to a spunky storybook character who did not stay home, twiddling her thumbs, but instead leapt from one adventure to the next without hesitation or remorse. In this way, I wanted to be like Karolcia. She was my modern Barbie from the movie. Capable of dismantling patriarchy if it came to that!
And maybe in some ways I was like the girl chasing the blue bead, and in other ways I was stumped by the enormity of the obstacles along the way. In the end, surely luck played a huge role in the outcomes: I did not get pregnant at 16. I could have, but I didn't. I never really needed to call out for help. I'd walk the streets of south Chicago in the middle of the night and I never was assaulted by anyone. Luck. On a grander scale, I managed to find rewarding work that also allowed me to raise kids. I almost flopped on that one, but in the end, it came together. And, at the end of the day, I responded to that first email from Ed and now here we are. Lucky clams, spending every day in each others company.
Still, I have many memories from being young, that young. Reading and rereading Karolcia, wondering if I could knock down evil people, whether I could make a playground a happy place.
And here's my heap of flowers from today!
(phlox in full bloom: now lining the right side of the path to the door)
(phlox in bloom: this bed really belongs to them in late summer!)
(this true lily is one of the last to bloom -- it's a welcome sight and scent in late summer)
(Dance and I both want to know: why do the hens do their morning groom on the picnic table?)
(this is what midsummer looks like!)
Hot today. Possibly the hottest day of the year for us. I put on the fan on the porch for breakfast. (Cornflowers from our new meadow.)
(from here!)
And sometime late in the afternoon, I take the bike out again. This time with a purpose! To market!
It is beastly hot and humid, but when you pick up speed, you're flying!
At the market, we pick up cheese, give over two dozen beautiful stalks of rhubarb, and purchase a beautiful tomato! Oh, and flowers.
(rhubarb delivery to these guys!)
(tomatoes from this guy)
(flowers for this person!)
I fly back on my e-cycle. Ed, with greater sense, rides his motorbike. We have a quiet evening in our air conditioned home. Lucky indeed.
