Monday, October 23, 2017

paying the price

First, an apology: I have read and loved your comments. I have formulated (in my head) responses to all of them, but they never made it to Ocean pages.

Basically, I have not kept up with life.

Oh, I do the essentials: I cook fresh and honest meals, I spend time with Ed, I take care of my grandgirl. The farmhouse is in good form and the garden is thriving.

But I have not taken care of small details and I am sorry for it. Do know that every message from you is part of this text, my life, my pleasure.

There is a reason why I start with this apology: today is the worst of the worst: an acute example of taking on too much and huffing and puffing my way through the day, because, well, I didn't think things through...

I did think about breakfast and it was lovely.

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But the rest of the morning and, too, the late afternoon were lost to my rushing through garden work. We're getting a burst of cold wet air tomorrow and so I need to finish planting, transplanting and replanting flowers today! So many bulbs remain! Too, there are the fragile pots to bring in, others to move -- oh, don't get me started. I have a lot on my plate.

It didn't have to be this way. Had I fewer bulbs, smaller ambitions, lighter aspirations, I'd be fine. Instead, I dig frantically and, too, I scold the cheepers for scratching up bulbs I had already put in. Girls! Behave!!

By the afternoon, I am mostly done. I breathe a sigh of relief and tell myself I will never get into this kind of a time crunch again. (Knowing damn well that I am very likely to get into this kind of a time crunch again.)

I pick up a rested and jubilant Snowdrop.

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Because this truly is the last warm-ish day of the year, we spend a long long time on the playground.

Oh, I'll miss these hours of unstructured outdoor play, where she is driven by her imagination, nothing more.

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Toward evening, we are back at the farmhouse. She finds our frisbees and we toss them around a bit.

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I tell her, too, that she can pick any flower she wants.

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Within a day, we'll have frost and the annuals will disappear for the year.

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It's been such a beautiful fall. And yes, I'm quite fine with the coming of winter.  I've done my planting for spring, so I know what awaits us come April. In the meantime, as always, I'm hoping for a snowy cold season!