It's one of those mornings: colder, calmer, with an end-of-the-week exhale. Before I do my walk to the barn, I glance at the headlines with a deep sigh, then quickly scroll down to the bottom of the paper to see what lighter fare they might have there for me. Ah, a reprint of an article on cultivating levity (it first appeared last year, but I'd missed it then). Just my kind of thing! I wont send you a link to it, but I can't help myself -- I have to reprint some of the points that stuck with me like sticky seeds stick to your clothing or better yet -- like melted marshmallow sticks to your fingers as you pry it off a stick. Cultivating levity: if ever there was a theme to my adult life, you'd find it right there! I don't avoid the serious, I wasn't born (unfortunately) with a wit that would allow me to always come up with the clever humorous retort in a prickly exchange, but I have always loved people who do not plunge into despair every time they trip up in life or when someone sours their day. In other words, I admire most those who can maintain levity.
And this is where I have to give you some quotes in case you mistake levity for mere humor and gaiety. It's not that. From the article: "Levity is a mindset...It's looking for reasons to be delighted rather than disappointed with the world around you." (Naomi Bagdonas, lecturer, Stanford) Levity is not mere cheerfulness, though humor may be a vehicle to levity. In seeking levity we seek a sense of lightness, a posture of not taking everything so seriously (Dr. Ruch of U of Zurich). When things go wrong, so many of us spiral downwards and get lost in our imagined or real irritants. What if you did not take that path? What if you lifted yourself out of that sinkhole?
Yesterday, Snowdrop and I were reading a long chapter in a book where one of the beloved characters dies. The kids in the story, saddened terribly by the loss of their adored neighbor, resist a spiral into despair. The funeral celebration of the person's life bothers them. They want to throw a party honoring their friend with his favorite music, foods, and laughter. I told Snowdrop that's my kind ending. Celebrate a person with a light heart and a ready smile. She thought about it and responded -- duly noted. I'll take your wishes into account! Kids are naturals at finding levity in their everyday. Ah, but if only older people would follow suit...
Then I went out to feed the animals.
And I made breakfast. Ed had been up late and was sleeping in and I would not for the world drag him down out of a deep slumber, but all that stirring and banging downstairs alerted him to breakfast prep and he tumbled down to join me at the table.
Now there is a guy whose every bone and fiber lean toward levity. Not necessarily along a humorous path -- like me, he is not a natural comic. But levity need not be achieved through laughter alone. Humor helps, but Ed is a perfect example of someone who gets there even if he doesn't often crack a smile in the process of lightening up the world around him. He is a total expert at avoiding the pitfalls, the sinkholes, the traps of self pity and disappointment, and I love him for it!
In the late morning, two boxes arrived from Amazon: mine, with the new strings of lights and his, with the gizmo that tests failed bulbs. And wouldn't you know it, within five minutes the string along the stairwell is now up and running. (It only took six months to get there.) The one on the porch is a bigger challenge and I leave him to his struggles as I head out to pick up the kids.
You know the Friday routine: farmhouse, read, play, eat. Then violin (him) and dance (her). This is the day where it's good to have my farro-cauliflower-marinara-cheese dinner ready to reheat. I don't get home until close to 6:30.
Do you like Fridays? I do. A week of small pleasures and warm cozy days behind me. Another one with new twists and delicious turns before me.
I pull into the driveway and look up to see half of the porch lights twinkling. Ed tells me -- I fixed one set but you'll have to use a new one after all to extend it. So why did you not just join it up with a new one? It doesn't have the purple bulb you like. Excuse me, that the kids like. Either way, it's a mismatch.
Well now, I do believe project The Lights is not yet behind us!
with love...
