Sunday, January 27, 2008
jumping off a cliff
It’s gone out of fashion – telling your kid “and if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you follow?” – in response to the standard kid plea of “but my friend does it!”, whatever the “it” may be. [In my case, it was biking the streets of New York (“no!”).]
It seems that following the herd is dumb, but ignoring cues from where the herd is grazing is even dumber.
So if my commenters tell me I should bowl, and I should wear a special bowling shirt and I should drink beer while bowling, who am I to ignore the green fertile lands of commenter experience?
Ed and I went bowling this Sunday morning. So full of hope…
Light ball. I need a light ball. I have weak wrists and weaker than weak thumbs.
A glance, to the left, a glance to the right. Oh, I see that there are others looking for light balls.
But the little guys get help!
And still, there are the gutter balls. And tears.
I so understand!
Ed and I start out with placing our balls straight in the gutters. Secretly, I am pleased. I am well matched!
But within four rolls, Ed gets a grip. The man is powerful. I am surprised that when he hits his pins, all pins in all lanes do not fall.
And he becomes accurate. Strike. Split. Shit. I mean, darn. Me, I’m getting weaker. He’s getting stronger.
My pickle shirt isn’t working. Hey, commenters, you told me to wear a shirt! Ed explained that you meant one with words. I have a pickle shirt. I'm wearing it! So what happened??
Oh! The beer. I forgot about the beer.
Do you sell beer before noon?
Of course!
What do you have on tap? (This is one bad question to ask in my home state: there’s too much choice.)
Blue Moon? That sounds cool. What’s it like?
Fruity.
Great! Like having Sunday brunch with a mimosa. Fruity!
(I have never in my entire life had a beer before noon. But, if this is what it takes…)
At first, my game (we’re on the second one now) falters. My wrists are protesting.
But soon, I get out of the gutter. And by the third game, I end with my best: 59!
On the phone with a close one later on, I say: guess what, I got more than half! Fifty nine!
Really? Just that? Hmm.
Wait, this is good, no? I mean, you told me you’re not so hot at this either.
Fifty nine, eh?
It seems that following the herd is dumb, but ignoring cues from where the herd is grazing is even dumber.
So if my commenters tell me I should bowl, and I should wear a special bowling shirt and I should drink beer while bowling, who am I to ignore the green fertile lands of commenter experience?
Ed and I went bowling this Sunday morning. So full of hope…
Light ball. I need a light ball. I have weak wrists and weaker than weak thumbs.
A glance, to the left, a glance to the right. Oh, I see that there are others looking for light balls.
But the little guys get help!
And still, there are the gutter balls. And tears.
I so understand!
Ed and I start out with placing our balls straight in the gutters. Secretly, I am pleased. I am well matched!
But within four rolls, Ed gets a grip. The man is powerful. I am surprised that when he hits his pins, all pins in all lanes do not fall.
And he becomes accurate. Strike. Split. Shit. I mean, darn. Me, I’m getting weaker. He’s getting stronger.
My pickle shirt isn’t working. Hey, commenters, you told me to wear a shirt! Ed explained that you meant one with words. I have a pickle shirt. I'm wearing it! So what happened??
Oh! The beer. I forgot about the beer.
Do you sell beer before noon?
Of course!
What do you have on tap? (This is one bad question to ask in my home state: there’s too much choice.)
Blue Moon? That sounds cool. What’s it like?
Fruity.
Great! Like having Sunday brunch with a mimosa. Fruity!
(I have never in my entire life had a beer before noon. But, if this is what it takes…)
At first, my game (we’re on the second one now) falters. My wrists are protesting.
But soon, I get out of the gutter. And by the third game, I end with my best: 59!
On the phone with a close one later on, I say: guess what, I got more than half! Fifty nine!
Really? Just that? Hmm.
Wait, this is good, no? I mean, you told me you’re not so hot at this either.
Fifty nine, eh?
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