Wednesday, September 11, 2013


It got tense toward the noon hour. I was finishing up lecture notes on the farmhouse porch. It may well have been 95 degrees out there, but I still love being outdoors and so I persevered. Ed joined me with his own readings and for a moment, I thought the world to be a very kind place indeed.

But in a short space of time, things started cracking. My old Apple tends to balk at odd times and she balked for me today. Twice I sent myself notes to my lecture, in case she balked her way into a crash, never to wake up again.

If only you'll carry me through this day, I promise I wont put you in a tight squeeze of time again! -- I whisper to my computer.

I must have said something right, because she bravely held steady and I finished my work with ten minutes to spare.

Late in the evening, I turned rosie against the record breaking heat toward home.

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How I love those final few steps toward the farmhouse after a long and hard day of work!

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At home, I talk to Ed about why it is that, despite having the benefit of asking for something that most everyone (if polled) would regard as reasonable and fair, my negotiations, in a wide variety of settings, historically always fail. (My success with my Apple this morning notwithstanding.)

He tells me -- you care too much. You don't exude power. You exude weakness. You argue reason, as if there lies some golden truth. People want what they want and then they invent the reasons for their position. Don't argue reason. State what you want, listen to the response, counter it, listen again and then take it or leave it. If you want it and can't walk away, your negotiating position isn't very strong.

The fact is, Ed is a superb negotiator. I've seen him do it, countless times. It's not that he always gets what he wants -- it's that most often, he doesn't care enough to stay with a deal if he doesn't think it's fair or right.

I think about how when you live with someone in a peaceful coexistence, no matter how independent you are, you nonetheless so often take on at least some of the traits of the other. I think about how more and more, walking away from bad (for me) deals seems like a good idea.

I make a garden salad...

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...Ed brings home a pizza. We watch the PBS show on Billie Jean King and Ed comments -- she exudes strength. Moves assertively. Knows what she wants.

Yes, that's right. Gotta know your own mind.

I'm gettin' there.

Early in the morning, the air cools down. Clouds throw a few sprinkles on the dry soil. Not much, but it's a refreshing event -- as if the dry hot air is history.

We eat breakfast on the porch of course...


DSC00483 with my oatmeal, Ed with his Cheerios. Except that sometimes this sweet guy now eats oatmeal. And sometimes I'll know not to take bad deals when negotiations fail.