Why has it so gone out of fashion to encourage progress through praise? Why have we veered off course, preferring to tell the world what's wrong with products, people, places, instead of what's great about them?
I'm at fault too: I dont write snappish comments, but when I travel, I devour all the trashy stuff others post on places where I want to overnight, excursions I think of taking. I tell myself -- I want to weed out the losers! But this morning I had a thought: maybe I shouldn't? Maybe behind the occasional moldy bathroom and creaky floorboards, there lies something special? Maybe by aiming high, I miss out on the fun of arriving in a spooky guest house with colorful characters sipping cold tea from chipped cups?
I get it: we have so little time and so we want to spend it wisely. Why take an excursion to an underrated museum or village, why eat a poorly prepared meal, when we can easily find something that hasn't these obvious flaws?
Still, I have to wonder -- who is helped by the endless nose wrinkling commentary, written or spoken? Wouldn't it be more useful to suggest ways in which tweaks could be made to improve something, noting all the good stuff that's already there? It's the generous and encouraging words of others that make us want to get better in life, no? I'll give you an example straight from this day:
I wake up early, because that is my fate this May -- to get up and move ASAP so that the darn knee has a chance to wiggle and bend before it totally freezes over from lying still most of the night. Ed is still sleeping so I am determined to get showered and dressed on my own. The only tough job is to get the white support stocking on the cut up leg. Impossible! Well, as it turns out, not impossible. After sweating it out for a good many minutes (I can't believe Ed slept through so many grunts and groans!), I'm ready for the day -- which, of course, begins with exercises, followed by ... a nap.
And then I check my email and I find a lovely message from one of my former colleagues, noting a review of Like a Swallow that appeared in this month's Wisconsin Lawyer (you can read it here).
Of course, everyone likes good reviews of their work, so there's that. But what really moved me about this one is that the author of it exactly set out the map of my life as how I want to live it. I aspire to all those things she writes about! And my immediate reaction to it was -- I want to do even better at meeting those goals! Double down and make a huge effort. Don't slack off. Stay focused. Observe with gentility, write with care, speak without malice.
You see the point -- a kind word is like a nudge to keep going, to do well by others, to stay on course.
And now, about this second of May which happens to be a significant improvement over the first of May! Outside -- more sunshine, slightly warmer temperatures. Inside -- the knee is gaining strength! [Though my Physical Therapist corrected me on this: your knee is perfect right now. Good to go. It's the other stuff, the tissue, the nerves, muscles etc that are saying -- what just happened here?!] But, I am not yet able to do the Tuesday shuffle with my granddaughter. I take a day's break and let the parents do the pick up/dance class routines.
(Breakfast, with cinnamon rolls, held over from pre-operative days...)
I concentrate on loving the feel of early May.
(Do you see him? Our resident cardinal, in the soon to bloom crab apple...)
(These are tulip weeks; a special thanks to the groundhog for leaving these alone!)
(The much neglected front road facing bed does put on a great display of late season jonquils!)
(Old orchard pears and apples even make Ed's '86 Ford pick-up look great!)
(Young orchard cherries, with the willow dancing in the wind!)
And in the afternoon, Ed again nudges me out for a walk, this time by Lake Waubesa.
I swear, there's never been a walk that I have taken that I haven't loved, even this one, still at a snail's pace, though Ed assures me that it's looking a lot more "normal!" Fantastic! Tomorrow I'll strive to do even better!
