6 hours ago
Friday, April 01, 2005
In Poland it's Prima Aprilis, in France it's Poisson d'Avril
Most April Fool’s jokes are pretty transparent. But this one had at least half of the commenters believing. And maybe they should. Petite runs an honest blog. Still, caught blogging on the job… It could not happen… A threat from a senior colleague… No, not in my experience… (are we still within the parameters of April Fool’s?)
Nostalgia
Right now, my adult daughter’s old high school friends are in the living room. They’ve gathered here, traveling from very distant places back to Madison for a wedding tomorrow. Maybe a dozen of them, all leading lives that I could not have anticipated for them, nor they for themselves.
Time is often measured by the stages your children march through. I forget that, now that my daughters both live more than a thousand miles away from me. Tonight, I am back in their high school days, though with a twist. I hear laughter and it is much more the laughter of adults.
When did the change happen?
Time is often measured by the stages your children march through. I forget that, now that my daughters both live more than a thousand miles away from me. Tonight, I am back in their high school days, though with a twist. I hear laughter and it is much more the laughter of adults.
When did the change happen?
No April Fool's, part 2
And for the tail end to my April Fool's post from this morning:
The second six statements are TRUE as well:
7. The first boy I ever had a passionate crush on appeared to have no last name.
Michael Charles. Judge for yourself.
8. When I was a kid, all states (except for Georgia) placed extensive restrictions on where, within their borders, I could travel, even if I was just passing through, without spending the night.
I posed a threat, no doubt about it.
9. The Polish authorities would not permit my mother to give me the name of Nina.
I blogged about this once. The “rule” was that you had to use names of saints who were in the name-day calendar (Nina was not listed). Yes, in “communist” Poland.
10. When I came back to the States as an eighteen year old, the sudden exposure to American junk food caused me to gain 40 pounds in 6 months.
The stuff was addictive! (It took a lot longer to lose it.)
11. For six years of my life, my next door neighbor (in an apartment building) was a spy whose sole occupation was to listen in on conversations that took place inside our unit.
My sister and I were warned not to talk loudly about sensitive subjects. I’m not quite sure what I understood to be a sensitive subject, but I suppose the fact that our Polish babysitter took flight and asked for asylum for herself (were we little monsters? no, it was all very political) might have been one of them…
12. I was once engaged to a bartender who lived on the remote Greek island of Samos.
He certainly thought so. We had language issues.
Another April 1st passes and I fool no one. The story of my life...
The second six statements are TRUE as well:
7. The first boy I ever had a passionate crush on appeared to have no last name.
Michael Charles. Judge for yourself.
8. When I was a kid, all states (except for Georgia) placed extensive restrictions on where, within their borders, I could travel, even if I was just passing through, without spending the night.
I posed a threat, no doubt about it.
9. The Polish authorities would not permit my mother to give me the name of Nina.
I blogged about this once. The “rule” was that you had to use names of saints who were in the name-day calendar (Nina was not listed). Yes, in “communist” Poland.
10. When I came back to the States as an eighteen year old, the sudden exposure to American junk food caused me to gain 40 pounds in 6 months.
The stuff was addictive! (It took a lot longer to lose it.)
11. For six years of my life, my next door neighbor (in an apartment building) was a spy whose sole occupation was to listen in on conversations that took place inside our unit.
My sister and I were warned not to talk loudly about sensitive subjects. I’m not quite sure what I understood to be a sensitive subject, but I suppose the fact that our Polish babysitter took flight and asked for asylum for herself (were we little monsters? no, it was all very political) might have been one of them…
12. I was once engaged to a bartender who lived on the remote Greek island of Samos.
He certainly thought so. We had language issues.
Another April 1st passes and I fool no one. The story of my life...
April notes
Someone who is visiting from New England remarked yesterday – my, not much green to be seen around here yet!
Obviously, she was looking up. I should have noted the blue skies and reminded her that there are torrential rains today in the region from which she came.
Obviously, she was looking up. I should have noted the blue skies and reminded her that there are torrential rains today in the region from which she came.
No April Fool's, part 1
I promised a response to the post immediately below this one. I'll write it in two parts.
All first six statements are TRUE:
1. The only person who ever noticed that I have a crooked smile was a Russian doctor, in a remote town by the Black Sea.
The scene: Sochi, in the Soviet Union. We must inspect the health of all who travel here. You, the youngest one – your face is not working properly. One cheek ees deader than the other! (gulp) One hip ees higher than the other! (gulp) Eat more!
2. The very fist TV show I watched was the Mickey Mouse Club. I watched it repeatedly while in an orphanage in Poland.
I watched while in the orphanage, but when not watching, I myself was not in the orphanage. The place was in the Polish village where my grandparents lived. They wouldn’t have had me any way. They only took boys.
3. I went to a New York elementary school in a building that had a separate stairwell for boys and a separate one for girls.
New York (then, as now) had such tremendous respect for the United Nations that, when asked to offer up space for the UN International School (where I went), they could only come up with an old, condemned (no April Fool’s there!) public school building, built in the previous century, where boys did not mess with girls. At least not in stairwells.
4. The first three years of my life were spent in a house that had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.
We had a fine well outside and a very clean outhouse. Eventually we moved up to a hand pump that I learned to work, so that water would splash out in spurts into the kitchen. The pump built strong arm muscles! I have no virtuous words to offer for the outhouse.
5. I had a violent confrontation with the police when I was barely fifteen.
The Polish police and I had a run-in during a student demonstration that I was watching at a tender age, trying to understand what the hell was going on in my country in 1968.
6. I was on the Mike Douglas show with Virginia (of “yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” fame).
Mike Douglas wanted to have a few token red commie kids on a Christmas TV special. My sister and I were plucked out of our school, which probably had the highest concentration of commie-country kids in the States (all of five maybe). The goal was for us all, at the close, to sing Silent Night in our different languages. I gave it my best shot, but then I noted during the airing of the show that they muted our singing. Maybe they thought I was vocalizing Polish profanities or worse, anti-capitalist slogans. Even though I was such an angelic child! Okay, a touch spunky at the edges. Okay, maybe not so angelic.
to be continued...
All first six statements are TRUE:
1. The only person who ever noticed that I have a crooked smile was a Russian doctor, in a remote town by the Black Sea.
The scene: Sochi, in the Soviet Union. We must inspect the health of all who travel here. You, the youngest one – your face is not working properly. One cheek ees deader than the other! (gulp) One hip ees higher than the other! (gulp) Eat more!
2. The very fist TV show I watched was the Mickey Mouse Club. I watched it repeatedly while in an orphanage in Poland.
I watched while in the orphanage, but when not watching, I myself was not in the orphanage. The place was in the Polish village where my grandparents lived. They wouldn’t have had me any way. They only took boys.
3. I went to a New York elementary school in a building that had a separate stairwell for boys and a separate one for girls.
New York (then, as now) had such tremendous respect for the United Nations that, when asked to offer up space for the UN International School (where I went), they could only come up with an old, condemned (no April Fool’s there!) public school building, built in the previous century, where boys did not mess with girls. At least not in stairwells.
4. The first three years of my life were spent in a house that had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.
We had a fine well outside and a very clean outhouse. Eventually we moved up to a hand pump that I learned to work, so that water would splash out in spurts into the kitchen. The pump built strong arm muscles! I have no virtuous words to offer for the outhouse.
5. I had a violent confrontation with the police when I was barely fifteen.
The Polish police and I had a run-in during a student demonstration that I was watching at a tender age, trying to understand what the hell was going on in my country in 1968.
6. I was on the Mike Douglas show with Virginia (of “yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” fame).
Mike Douglas wanted to have a few token red commie kids on a Christmas TV special. My sister and I were plucked out of our school, which probably had the highest concentration of commie-country kids in the States (all of five maybe). The goal was for us all, at the close, to sing Silent Night in our different languages. I gave it my best shot, but then I noted during the airing of the show that they muted our singing. Maybe they thought I was vocalizing Polish profanities or worse, anti-capitalist slogans. Even though I was such an angelic child! Okay, a touch spunky at the edges. Okay, maybe not so angelic.
to be continued...
April Fool’s?
This post tests your knowledge of a certain blog author. You read Ocean. Do you know anything about the person who writes it? April 1st suggests that this is a joke. Maybe, maybe not.
So, of the dozen points below: which are true and which are false? (Tune in later for an update, with answers. Impatient? Send me an email and I’ll explain. No foolin.’)
1. The only person who ever noticed that I have a crooked smile was a Russian doctor, in a remote town by the Black Sea.
2. The very fist TV show I watched was the Mickey Mouse Club. I watched it repeatedly while in an orphanage in Poland.
3. I went to a New York elementary school in a building that had a separate stairwell for boys and a separate one for girls.
4. The first three years of my life were spent in a house that had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.
5. I had a violent confrontation with the police when I was barely fifteen.
6. I was on the Mike Douglas show with Virginia (of “yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” fame).
7. The first boy I ever had a passionate crush on appeared to have no last name.
8. When I was a kid, all states (except for Georgia) placed extensive restrictions on where, within their borders, I could travel, even if I was just passing through, without spending the night.
9. The Polish authorities would not permit my mother to give me the name of Nina.
10. When I came back to the States as an eighteen year old, the sudden exposure to American junk food caused me to gain 40 pounds in 6 months.
11. For six years of my life, my next door neighbor (in an apartment building) was a spy whose sole occupation was to listen in on conversations that took place inside our unit.
12. I was once engaged to a bartender who lived on the remote Greek island of Samos.
So, of the dozen points below: which are true and which are false? (Tune in later for an update, with answers. Impatient? Send me an email and I’ll explain. No foolin.’)
1. The only person who ever noticed that I have a crooked smile was a Russian doctor, in a remote town by the Black Sea.
2. The very fist TV show I watched was the Mickey Mouse Club. I watched it repeatedly while in an orphanage in Poland.
3. I went to a New York elementary school in a building that had a separate stairwell for boys and a separate one for girls.
4. The first three years of my life were spent in a house that had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.
5. I had a violent confrontation with the police when I was barely fifteen.
6. I was on the Mike Douglas show with Virginia (of “yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” fame).
7. The first boy I ever had a passionate crush on appeared to have no last name.
8. When I was a kid, all states (except for Georgia) placed extensive restrictions on where, within their borders, I could travel, even if I was just passing through, without spending the night.
9. The Polish authorities would not permit my mother to give me the name of Nina.
10. When I came back to the States as an eighteen year old, the sudden exposure to American junk food caused me to gain 40 pounds in 6 months.
11. For six years of my life, my next door neighbor (in an apartment building) was a spy whose sole occupation was to listen in on conversations that took place inside our unit.
12. I was once engaged to a bartender who lived on the remote Greek island of Samos.
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