I am a weak, weak person

In years back, I used to get the Wisconsin State Journal delivered to my house. Why? Well, when you are an integral part of a community – striving to achieve utmost familiarity with its schools and governing officials – you want to keep up with local news. But not too long ago there was a headline that was so repulsive and repugnant to my sensibilities that I called the paper and said ENOUGH! I then switched to the afternoon Capital Times, Madison’s “progressive” newspaper.

That was alright so long as there was the stable and static schedule of work -> home -> prepare dinner and read paper -> eat dinner and talk about what’s in the paper. This year is quite different in terms of schedules. No one is reading the paper as I am preparing the dinner. In fact, oftentimes I prepare the dinner at odd hours and in odd ways, seemingly inconsistent with the stability described above.

And so, I have stacks of rolled up Cap Times, never opened, never read.

Why don’t I cancel my subscription????

Here’s why. I sit each late afternoon, working away at my computer and I watch the guy as he drops off the paper. No one else on our block subscribes to it and so I watch him drive right up, get out of his car, walk up to the door (YES! Unlike during the times of the Wis St J, this guy actually brings it to the door!) and place it gingerly in a perfect place there.

At Christmastime, he sends a card telling me about his children and grandchildren. He is retired. He actually lives in the neighborhood and he appears to have many grandchildren. I think that with my Christmas bonus he must be buying a toy for one of them. He seems the type to favor fire engines and Barbie dolls. From that walk up my stairs, I can tell (no, really!) that he is sweet and devoted.

And so I do not cancel the paper because of him. I can imagine his disappointment and his introspective Qs were I to cancel – was it something about me???? All sensitive souls, when hit with a series of blows, wonder if it is about them.

I couldn’t do it. And so I just pick up the stack of unread papers every few days and pass them on to the environmental truck that comes on Wednesdays. Could it be otherwise?