April Fool’s?

This post tests your knowledge of a certain blog author. You read Ocean. Do you know anything about the person who writes it? April 1st suggests that this is a joke. Maybe, maybe not.

So, of the dozen points below: which are true and which are false? (Tune in later for an update, with answers. Impatient? Send me an email and I’ll explain. No foolin.’)

1. The only person who ever noticed that I have a crooked smile was a Russian doctor, in a remote town by the Black Sea.
2. The very fist TV show I watched was the Mickey Mouse Club. I watched it repeatedly while in an orphanage in Poland.
3. I went to a New York elementary school in a building that had a separate stairwell for boys and a separate one for girls.
4. The first three years of my life were spent in a house that had no electricity and no indoor plumbing.
5. I had a violent confrontation with the police when I was barely fifteen.
6. I was on the Mike Douglas show with Virginia (of “yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” fame).
7. The first boy I ever had a passionate crush on appeared to have no last name.
8. When I was a kid, all states (except for Georgia) placed extensive restrictions on where, within their borders, I could travel, even if I was just passing through, without spending the night.
9. The Polish authorities would not permit my mother to give me the name of Nina.
10. When I came back to the States as an eighteen year old, the sudden exposure to American junk food caused me to gain 40 pounds in 6 months.
11. For six years of my life, my next door neighbor (in an apartment building) was a spy whose sole occupation was to listen in on conversations that took place inside our unit.
12. I was once engaged to a bartender who lived on the remote Greek island of Samos.