Monday, January 09, 2006

sticks in the air

Sometimes I know how to throw many sticks up and catch them brilliantly as they fall. With my eyes closed. I'll watch a movie when cooking a meal, talk to a person on the phone, all the while keeping an eye on the Mozilla Inbox. And still there will be room for other things. Like maybe learning a language or something.

But I cannot write posts unless there isn’t anyone within ten miles of my space and I am enveloped in total silence. At the very most, I’ll tolerate some constant noise like the buzz in a cafĂ©, or a CD playing one song over and over again.

And I cannot frame photos and be socially engaged in any way. When I take out the camera I want no enticing conversation. One or the other. Not both.

And so I have been a complete failure when it comes to blogging or taking photos during social events. True, we used to have blogger dinners. True, people would post witty texts and take beautiful photos, but I would hide behind the stove and not participate in any of this blogger activity in a significant way.

Yesterday I went to a dinner where there was no comfortable stove to hide behind. I was not cooking. I could not even help as the cook is one of those people who is completely in control of things, producing wonderful foods without dirtying a single surface. And people brought their computers and I, of course, had my stuck-to-the-hip camera and so there would be expectations of posting and picture taking and the whole thing was threatening to be one big nightmare blogging-wise, even as the foods would be magnificent and the company splendid.

I know myself well. This morning, looking at my notes and photo file I thought: wow. I really am adept at producing nothing of great worth (sadly enough, this is especially true when surrounded by great people doing great things).

I cringe as I include here the following sample. All from last night:

The hosts have children. So sweet and gentle. (I wrote that before the littlest one took a hammer to the toy. With vim and vigor.)

Jan 06 053

How old do you have to be to start a blog? I mean, do you even need to know how to read? A parent can assist in the selection of templates and sidebar stuff.

Jan 06 068

The food is magnificent. Someone commented that the first course alone was worth the entrance fee. (No, wait, that came out wrong. There was no entrance fee. Lovely text, no?)

Jan 06 102

The second course had this great meat thing and stuffed peppers. We're talking sublime stuffing. I'd eat the stuffing alone and call it a starred meal.

Jan 06 075

Hey, I did find a more than decent photo from the evening. Predictably, I did not take it. Someone was messing with my camera. Next time I'll just hand it over and wash dishes. Even if they are all clean at all times.

Jan 06 098
B of Oscar association, N of Ocean association