Tuesday, February 14, 2012

pathetically yours

Outside, there's a light quilt of snow again. It's the kind of day when you're glad to live in the country. In the city, the snow will amount to nothing more than wet slush.


It's barely light outside. Meekly he says – Happy Valentine’s Day. 

Funny how noticeable an absence of celebration is when you’re used to thinking of this as a special day. Not important, perhaps a little fabricated, commercialized, nonsensical, but special nonetheless. Because, darn it, it’s the middle of February and any distraction from that calendar reality is a good thing!

So all week, in anticipation, I balk and protest his indifference to it. The more he claims that indifference, the less I, myself am indifferent. Valentine's Day begins to matter in ways that sort of surprise me.

At breakfast, I bring to the table a box that came by UPS from J.Crew. Pants I purchased for spring. I open it and tell him – let’s pretend this is from you. He laughs.

On the window sill, my scented geraniums remind me that every day may at least pretend to be Valentine’s Day.


After classes, I stop by Trader Joe’s. We’re short on chocolate covered raisins (a staple in the farmhouse). Trader Joe’s has the best deal in town on them. While there, I look at the flowers – roses, everywhere roses on sale and I toy with the idea of buying some. $12.99 a dozen. Ufff... Pricey. On the other hand, these daffodils, at $1.69 per bunch -- what a deal! I'll take some home. Ed, look at the flowers that follow me home on Valentine's Day!

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We meet up at Paul’s café. He eats two large pickles and I drink my milky espresso.

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So, Paul -- I ask the owner, did you do something for Valentine’s Day? I’m only guessing that his fiancée would like that.
No... I haven’t the car today... Paul works ungodly long hours.
You want to give her a bunch of daffodils? I have some in the car...
You’re kidding?
No, here, take them... it’s not as if they’re from Ed.
Ed grins, a smile of kindness.

What'you been up to?  I ask him.
Work emails. Then he tells me – here, I watched this. Take a look.
He clicks through to the statement made by a (Republican) legislator voting (in the state of Washington) in favor of same sex marriage. He knows I would love this message. Have you seen it? No? Well, give it a go. It’s only four minutes.

We go home. He has a volley ball game tonight so we wont be eating dinner together (he doesn't like to fill up before playing). And anyway, dinner is scrambled eggs with veggies. Healthy but inconsequential.


Let’s go out for sure Thursday.
Have a good game.
Happy Valentine’s Day, gorgeous.