third day charm?

It really is bitter cold outside. The kind of cold that can keep you bound to your heated space inside, undoing any resolve to move more in 2025. The thermometer reads 14f (-10C), but it feels much colder than that. The winds are gusty, piercing through any protection you may have. And we're not the only ones feeling the deep freeze -- many states are getting that direct hit of Arctic air right now. 

On the upside, it is a sunny day. The psychological boost you get from that is tremendous. 

This is what you must do on a day like this: fit in your daily walk into the wee hours of the morning, because you will not feel like going out again later. And so after feeding the hens, I resist the temptation to go back to my deliciously warm kitchen for my milky coffee and granola (croissants? what croissants? don't know anything about croissants -- I tell myself) and I head toward the new development for a brisk walk.

It is so cold that I keep my face down the whole way. And my sweatpants? Useless. I'm so chilled at the end that it takes blankets and many cups of hot herbal tea to bring me back to normal. But I did it! 

Breakfast at last. Alone, but with a candle (a real one, stashed just for just such a moment). 

I know, I know, I'm polluting my lungs. Give me a break -- small steps, but also small pleasures! The house is empty and lonely without Ed. The candle is a tiny boost to the otherwise too quiet farmhouse.

And speaking of Ed -- we're still waffling about whether to treat him for his Covid. I would say the guy has a moderate case of it. If it doesn't get worse, he'll be fine. But how can you predict what tomorrow will bring? I leave the decision to him for now. Being very drug-averse, he of course chooses to hold off. We'll see if that ends up being a wise choice!

 

In the late morning I Zoom with my two friends who live in warmer climates (one in Florida though she is currently in D.C., one in New Mexico). Am I jealous? Not really. I don't mind the cold too much and in general, I like winter. But do ask me again at the end of March, when I've had enough of it! [I do mind the absence of snow. Looking ahead, I see not a flake in sight, for the next two weeks.]

And in between everything, I check in with the sick guy who, as is his habit at times of illness, sleeps. A lot. I called him maybe half a dozen times today and each time I woke him up. Quite impressive. When I'm sick, sleep can be elusive. 

 

In the evening I cook up a split pea and lentil soup. to keep on hand during these cold days.

As for movie watching -- of the solo kind, without my buddy on the couch -- well, after an unsuccessful evening yesterday, when I thought I'd watch Pride and Prejudice, but instead left PBS on, so that I was bored to tears by a show lauding AV trails in northern Wisconsin, I did what I would never do with Ed here -- I bought a movie online. Anora. It cost me twice the price of a theater viewing, so yes, there was waste and I feel bad about that, but there is no way you could drag me out to the movies in this weather when, for just a couple of dollars more, I can stream something to my home couch. A stripper falls for a Russian oligarch in Brighton Beach, NY? Sounds good to me!

 

Much later: a two and a half hour movie. Have you seen it? I haven't a clue as to how to even think about it. I know it's an award contender for the Globes and likely for an Oscar. It already won the Palme d'Or at Cannes and Best Picture in December at the LA Film Critics Awards. And still, I neither liked it, nor didn't like it, which is strange because people have very strong opinions, both about the story line and the characters in it. I wont ruin it for you if you're still thinking of giving it a go, but I will say this: I have never kept the volume at such a low level in any of my movie viewing, ever. Oh, and another comment: is the idea of a movie with a happy ending a thing of the past? Okay, I'm saying too much. 

To a healthier and more upbeat tomorrow! 

with love...

first, twenty-first, and it continues...

Early this morning, Ed came upstairs (after a night of working and dozing on the couch), announcing that he has a raspy throat. Whoa, stop right there! I'm thinking: he couldn't have Covid. No one else is sick or at least testing positive. And the guy never goes anywhere or sees anyone. Sure, once last week, at the dentist's. And once to sell the truck to the happy buyer. But that's it. He can't have Covid. Indeed, he has yet to fall sick with it, ever. 

Still... Ed, maybe you should test for Covid. And there you have it -- he's positive. Strongly positive. What the heck??  

Since I've had Covid twice, we have a plan in place that we'd implemented in the past: he moves to the sheep shed. Only this time, he's the one who is the pariah in the household, poor guy.

We discuss his taking Paxlovid. I direct him to call the clinic, where they tell him that as of January 1st, it's going to cost him upwards of $800. But! There's a special program for eligible Covid cases. He's not especially vulnerable (except for his age), but he dutifully runs through the eligibility criteria with the nurse. Bingo! He qualifies!

Except that he then reads (almost) everything that has ever been written on the subject and decides even as a freebe, he doesn't need it or want it. I don't blame him. We are super vaccinated and his symptoms are mild.

Okay, that's taken care of.

I'm thinking -- maybe I have a-symptomatic Covid? I should test. 

Nope, negative. Still, I spent nearly every minute of the day with him yesterday. What are the chances that I wont get it? I talk to my daughter and we shuffle around the weekend plans. 

And I go for a walk. It's super cold, but it will get colder. Clearing the mind at a brisk pace is a great idea. 

(hey, I'm alone too!)

 

I return, I eat breakfast. Still healthy! But alone.

Though not for long: I have a lunch date -- with these happy kids...

... and their parents.

(cupcakes for dessert)

This is when I really start to appreciate the incredible luck we've had this season. If we had to deal with Covid, there is no better time for it: past holidays, past even my New Year's Day with him, not during travel. A time where clearing the weekend of contact is easy. True, Snowdrop has a birthday imminently, but she has a kid party at a swimming pool on one weekend day (where I definitely was NOT going to make an appearance!), and a Shakespeare party celebrating the Twelfth Night on the other (you know -- it's the Bard's play and it will be on the twelfth night). We can have a family birthday celebration next week. So many lucky breaks!

Which reminds me -- I read an article this afternoon in the Wired with the delicious title -- How Do You Live a Happier Life? Notice What Was There All Along. Somewhat predictably, the author tells you to rush through the bad stuff and reacquaint yourself with all the good things in your life. Here's an interesting snippet from the article:

Imagine walking into a coffee shop. At first the aroma of freshly brewed coffee is salient, but after about 20 minutes, you can no longer smell it. Your olfactory neurons stop responding—they habituate. And just as you become accustomed to the scent of coffee, you may also become used to more complex aspects of your life.

The challenge then is to regain sensitivity, both to the great things in life, so we can feel the joy, and to the terrible things we stopped noticing that we could potentially change if we try. So, how do we dishabituate?

The idea here is to teach yourself to pay attention to the aromatic coffee again!  And reshuffle things a bit, getting rid of at least some of the unpleasantness in your everyday. [I find that this second charge is significantly harder to do. Most of us know where the stressors are and most of us cannot do much about them without some risk to the delicate balance in our lives. Still, even dumping just one source of anxiety may be worth a try.]

 

After the lunch en famille, I go grocery shopping. I want to stock up, in case I get sick. I think about being extra polite and good to those in my orbit. Not so easy when one person pushes, another snarls, a third budges the line. Have we let go of our 2025 resolves already?? There are a lot of grumpy people out there! Maybe some of them would buy into this -- Andy Borowitz's satirical piece in my Inbox today:

...On Wednesday, the year 2025 was cancelled  by popular demand. 

There was widespread support for this... One day in, it's clear that 2025 was a terrible idea. Let's just move on to 2026 and see if that's any better.

Of course, you cannot tell why someone may have had a rough start to the year, to the day, to the hour. Why they may feel compelled to snarl at you and tell you that you're in the wrong line.  It's easy to stay cheerful if you just finished the best holiday season ever. Who am I to demand kindness from someone who perhaps had the worst December imaginable! Well, at least I didn't snarl back! Little things.

 

And now for my other notation in the Title line of Ocean: the twenty-first? The twenty-first what?

As it happens, it is the 21st Anniversary of Ocean. Twenty-one years of daily blogging. Even I think that's a lot of blogging! It takes a lot of chutzpah (defined: cheek, or gall) to think that you have something worth saying to a general audience every single day of your life!

But in truth, that's not how it works: I'm a great example of how you can be not outstanding (except in the fact that I persevere for all these years...), not at the top of any heap, not admirable, perhaps not even interesting and certainly not spectacular and yet... you keep at it. Because it is in your soul to write, to describe life as you know it. To illustrate it even! To keep at it, despite the eye rolls, the head shakes, the buts and whatifs.

I could not do this without the people in my life who accept the premise that I want to write about real events in my days and who let me include them in my story, because well, they are in many ways my life. Ed, for sure. The young families most definitely. My friends who do not clobber me when I bring a camera to our coffee date or trip or adventure. And of course those of you who write to me, especially when something that I say hits a sweet note for you. You are all the best and I can never thank you enough for making this ongoing project viable for me, and for those who read Ocean.

I love you all.

And now to a solo supper. Maybe a movie that Ed would never agree to watch? Is there one out there? I'm on it!

New Year's Day

Good morning, 2025!

A good, lazy morning for us: we stay under the quilt, Ed brings up the news article with pictures of New Year's Eve around the world and we try to guess where they're from. Paris, London, New York, Sydney -- those are easy! Bangkok, Damascus -- those were a little harder. It seems that much of the world pops fireworks on the coming of the New Year. We don't do that here, in the U.S. and I'm glad.

Good morning cold and crusty farmette lands. We wont be seeing temperatures above freezing for the next several weeks (if not longer). Again, I'm glad. Our lands need the deep freeze for any number of reasons. And we have a good furnace and wonderful quilts in the home.

We will need some motivation to get out more, especially on cloudy days like this one, but hey! What are New Year's resolves for if not for this? And loathe that I am to give advice on how to go about your life, I will offer this one once again: aim small for the New Year. Especially if you are older (like us!) -- you know what you're capable of accomplishing. Stick with the possible! Here, I'm offering you a humor piece from the New Yorker today:

New Year's Resolutions for an Anteater: That's right, you guessed it, I'm gonna eat a shit ton more ants.

Breakfast. Here's where we send you our warmest heartfelt wishes for a good 2025.

I spend a couple of hours in Poland with Bee (over Zoom).  We think ahead, we think back. I'm feeling grateful that we can still think (and plan) ahead, albeit just a little bit tentatively!

Lunch? I skip the cookie today. Little things, people! Little things!

[Speaking of little things, may I put in a plug for small succulents for your windowsill? So pretty, even in the dead of winter!]

Ed reads me most popular names for children born in 2024 in Madison: Lainey (eleven in just one hospital!) and Emma, Theodore and Henry and Leo and Oliver (there is a tie in boys' names). All those names are comfortable, familiar to me. Out of curiosity, I look up commonly chosen Polish names from 2024: Nikodem and Antoni for boys, Zofia and Zuzanna for girls. That's a bit of a shocker. First of all, I've never heard of anyone named Nikodem and indeed, it doesn't even sound Polish to me. Secondly -- I always thought Zuzanna was a rarely used name. Well might I think this -- I have a daughter with that name. How styles and fads come and go! A hundred years ago, it appears that Robert and Mary were the most common American names. Who even names their child Mary anymore?

We go for a walk. No hesitation about heading out. It's the New Year! Nothing original -- just to our regular old park, which doesn't even look grand on this cold January day. (And when the wind picks up, it is cold!) But, the trees stand tall, sheltering us from at least some of the wind, the air feels brisk and we walk, content. 

(Checking in on the half sunken ice hut -- not surprisingly, they haven't been able to drag it our and they surely wont be able to do it now.)

(on our way back...)

For supper we eat leftovers. There are only seven shrimp left from yesterday's seafood platter, But I put together a big salad, with added carrots, spinach, radishes, cucumber, avocado and asparagus, and we've got ourselves a feast! And an easy clean up. We need to go easy on ourselves in 2025, remember?

 

We consider our viewing options. No more holiday searches. We're back to random online lists and friend suggestions. But why oh why did we pick A Call to Spy (a true story about women enlisted as spies for Britain during World War II) on this pleasantly quiet, calm day? What's worse, somewhere toward the end, when everything is going amuck for all the good people, I say to Ed -- we've seen this movie before, haven't we? Yep. 

Honestly! Horror, on repeat. Well, may it serve as a reminder of how little we have to complain about in our lives.

As for cheerful movies -- we will do better tomorrow! (she said, without much conviction)

 

But let me at least end this post on a cheerful note -- I heard on PBS news today that for every minute you exercise, you gain five extra minutes of life. I repeated this to Ed who then asks -- so... if I exercise all the time I'll live forever, right? Ha! Ed's comment notwithstanding, think of it -- if, having just read this, you get up now and exercise for a minute, I will have contributed to your longer life! Go for it!

Or not. But do have a safe and peaceful 2025!

with so much love...