guest post 12

More from Kep:

It’s weird how I suddenly have a nickname (Kep – Nina picked it). Jill the Pill once tried using a nickname on me, but it was strained. It didn’t really fit. It’s like you love or like someone to death and you want to use some endearment to show them they’re not just your regular joe, but whenever you say something other than “hey there, regular joe,” it sounds like you’re talking to someone else.

I use nicknames on others anyway. Sometimes I add “little” to a friend’s name, especially if the friend is a woman. Little Jill, little sue, little katie – like you want to make them small, for one short second, so that you can hold them and protect their little fragile selves. Just like I would like to have my big fragile self protected. But I can’t force people to call me things: hey, call me little joe from now on, will you? I kind of want to be your little joe once in a while. (It has nothing to do with size. Little katie, one of my best pals ever, is way bigger than me, I swear. So little joe should work, only no one sees me that way I guess.)

Hey, weirdly, I have never called Nina little Nina. I know she can be more fragile even than katie, but somehow I don’t think “vulnerable” when I think of Nina. I think Polish peasant stock, probably because that’s the way she describes herself. Once I thought I should call her tadpole – you know, she is a tad Polish. But it was like Jill fixing me with a nickname, it seemed strained. Maybe if everyone started calling Nina tadpole, it would stick, so there’s an idea for all you Ocean readers.

I gave tadpole (there, I’m following my own advice) some tips about Ocean, by the way. I told her she should put up a photo in the sidebar. Her response: I can’t even write posts at the moment, don‘t bug me about Ocean improvements. You, however, should post some photos occasionally.

My response: Photos, yes I know. I was told this already. More than once. But of what? Last night I clipped my nails while watching TV. You want to see nail clippings photos? Or work-pile-on-the-desk photos? I’m living a calm life – not much goin’ on right now. Besides, Ocean is your blog, ms. tadpole, not mine. Let’s not confuse things around here with kep’s crappy artwork.

Maybe once I’m done blogging, I can ask the world to call me kep. I’ve developed a weird attachment to the name. Like I should now sign emails and letters that way: best regards, kep. It gives me another shot at redrawing myself: I’m not just a regular joe, I’m also kep. You know kep – the guy who bailed out Ocean while tadpole was slumbering.