with apologies

…for being late and brief here, on Ocean.

It’s like this: we make a million small and big decisions each day. Sometimes with confidence, sometimes with trepidation. But we go on and mostly think nothing of it. Then, something arrests us. Maybe a word pops out of a friend’s mouth. Maybe, finally, there is a misfit of some sort, something feels out of shape – for whatever reason, we come to a halt. Now, suddenly, all is suspect. Whatever am I doing?

It takes a while to fall back into the blissful nonthinking state that allows us to tumble along, to continue forward.

And so today, one minute I was in a store with a building contractor, spending n dollars of the bank’s money on six major appliances and the next minute I am at the loft, stalled, frozen solid in a state of inaction. In between? Small events, a few words, the hands of a clock moving forward.

So, I’m looking for the right track again. In the meantime, from my eating table, a flower. Because when words fail, there are always flowers.