I feel like a character out of a Dr. Seuss book -- one of those that had a long and tedious day and now cannot stop griping about it. My gripes are simple enough: I had a wakeful night, during which I worried about most anything and everything. If you had fed me a line about the possibility of a tornado and the closing of my favorite grocery store -- I would have worried. Indeed, I worried that I was charged with minding an infant and I hadn't the proper foods to feed it (I think it was a he, but I can't b sure). It was just slated to be that way: a night of worry. And what a surprise -- I woke up with bloodshot eyes and the idea that I was really falling apart at the seams. That lasted about five minutes and then I moved on, but still, one wants to -- I want to -- hop out and get rolling with enthusiasm rather than with worry and tired eyes. As I told my classes - you could tell my state of being by looking at the color of my clothes for the day. All somber. Though I noted that 90% of the students were equally somberly dressed, so it could just be the weather.
Just about the only shot of color during the day was this, on the way to the donkey car, because yes, I had to use the donkey car on this misty and often times terribly drenching day.
Upon my return home, life improved. Imagine how wonderful it is to drive into this driveway.
And though it rained, on and off, it was not especially cold. Here's a surprise -- those pansies I planted back in March or early April? Still going strong!
Our evening meal is pathetic even by our simple standards. Leftover Chinese take out. With a large green salad. Which is sort of like eating a croissant with pizza. Leftover microwaved pizza. But we had a lot to discuss, including the final plans for our winter trip -- version number 523 emerged and this one, I believe, is a keeper!
So I'll lullaby myself to sleep pretty soon and tomorrow I'll do the energetic leap out of bed and maybe maybe I'll take Rosie to work. It promises to be a new day, for sure a new day. And that's a good thing.
You should try Dr. Seuss's 'Sleep Book'-- they're all sleeping in there.
ReplyDeleteOr this quote I came across just yesterday:
"The word “surrender” continues to resound through me, but it’s not just a word. It’s a feeling. The feeling is built from acceptance that there will be bad, and there will be good. There will be sadness, and there will be joy. There will be pain, and there will be relief. All of these things will be regardless of what I wish or how I feel about them."
I too had a wakeful night, compliments of my two year old daughter. No nights of worry, just a growing girl who wanted a snack and then to sing a few rounds of Old McDonald Had a Farm. And now today I am in a day long seminar on tax law...bring on the coffee.
ReplyDeleteI hope your Wednesday is more restful, and I'm curious, what grocery store is closing?
regan -- I love that quote. There are songs written about the dismal hours of the dead of night when nothing seems small and inconsequential, every ache feels like it's a death sentence, every thought veers toward the dramatic. Fighting it seems pointless. Accepting it seems exactly right. (Reminds me of a book on kids I read that changed my life -- did I tell you about "Liberated Parents Liberated Children" -- a similar idea of accepting rather than attempting to fix your child's unhappiness?)
ReplyDeleteMelinda -- imagined worries. No grocery store closing, no child left unfed for lack of proper food. Thank goodness.
I have been reassured that anything my mind tells me at 3AM is a lie...
ReplyDeleteIsland Nana -- So true! But, since I do not believe anything that I think at 3 a.m., I also do not believe that all that spins in my head then is a lie. Fortunately, there is always dawn.
ReplyDeleteI have taken to listening to audio CD's at night to lull me to sleep. Trouble is that I just end up listening to the whole CD and then it's over. And I'm still awake. Last night I began a new one, Richard Burton reading Dylan Thomas. Now that one did put me to sleep but, alas, only for one little hour. The rest of the night I was wide awake and watched the hours tick by on the digital clock! Yawn....
ReplyDeleteYou did Nina, and I bought it and read it!
ReplyDeleteFor me, those feelings come, not lying in bed, but getting up out of bed, when it's still dark outside. uh oh! =)