Friday, September 12, 2014

the same but different

Oh, I could really run with this blog post title!

Let's begin: the morning was the same, but different. It was the coldest of the nights thus far and so we slept deliciously well. And when I say we, I mean Isie too. He has now slowly morphed into his hibernating mode. Instead of being summer-restless (in, out, sleep, wake up, wants food, wont eat, will eat, walk, hunt, stay put, out, in -- etc) he is now more winter-sleepy. He has positioned himself on our bed and he rarely moves far from it. That cat has a bear gene running through him!

Breakfast? Ditto. Similar foods, but now indoors for sure.


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(in a hurry; it's Friday)


Then, my weekly grocery shopping -- but I'm buying differently now. Since I'll be leaving on Monday, I stock up on snacks and foods that Ed can easily throw together, or not cook at all. The man eats in a very uncomplicated way when I'm not here.

Did I mention that it is dismally gray and wet? We were to go this evening for a boat ride with Ed's machining work friends, but the weather is so awful that at the last minute I bow out. I'd have been shivering all evening long.


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(she's stepping gingerly over wet grass)


But let me get back to the theme: I finally wrapped up plans for a dinner in a few weeks. I'll be in Poland, albeit very briefly (and I mean *very* briefly), toward the end of this coming trip and I will definitely see my friends from university days. I am delighted that the whole pack of eleven can make it (they all know and love each other as well, so it's a pretty tight group) and as I begin work with the restaurant on the menu, I realize that not one person has voiced any food preferences/aversions, even though I pushed them to tell me what they ate/didn't eat.

Would you get that kind of compliance and uniformity if you asked a dozen of your good friends over? Would you? I'm genuinely curious. Is it a Polish politeness? The belief that you should do the best you can with what's before you? Or is it that the world of western allergies hasn't quite yet hit Poland in the way that it's commandeered the gut of Americans?

I still had a day full of bureaucratic details to work through today. Some, so frustrating that I threw up my hands and asked Ed, patient, placid Ed to step in (who then commented -- you're right... this is pretty impossible...)

But, I'm on my last days home right now and I'm getting to that point of nostalgia where I think-- must I leave so soon? Must I?

It's a rhetorical question. I know the answer.

Still a weekend before me. A cold, but sunny weekend, they say. Perfectly autumnal.


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6 comments:

  1. When you're being invited to a dinner, you don't dictate the menu. I've never encountered that, anyway, we were all well raised. That goes for our younger generation too. Now one daughter is a vegetarian, one is going nonalcoholic because of her pregnancy, but they don't impose their specific needs on the whole company. When we host, of course we plan with consideration for them, which you were trying to do. When they are going out with a group of strangers or co-workers, they don't need to announce their preferences, they just know they will eat what they choose and avoid, without comment, what they choose.

    In the matter of allergies, though, that is quite different, along a whole range. In the past, I have had parents try to dictate the snack list for the entire classroom based on Janey's tummy. I suggest that, instead, they bring a supply of Janey's approved snacks.

    This year it's different. One little boy has so many allergies, so severely, that if someone has touched nuts and touches him, or they both touch a pitcher handle, he will have a reaction. So we have banned all nuts from the entire center. Other schools would not accept him. I don't know how this will be managed in his future, but this is what we can do for him now.

    Happy trails, Nina! I'm ready to take a virtual trip with you!

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  2. After seeing your first photo of Ed having breakfast, I want French toast now!

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  3. Advance apologies for the length of this comment.

    Twenty-nine years ago we briefly lived in the mountains of Colorado. Shortly after moving there, a new priest also arrived. I invited him and his wife for dinner… never occurring to me to ask about allergies etc. We were living on a very tight budget, but I splurged on shrimp for a marvelous Creole concoction. Ends up he was lethally allergic and couldn’t partake. I ended up preparing a sandwich for him… he grumbled and complained like a petulant child. I was appalled and wondered why I hadn’t been told of this life-threatening allergy. Gah. He huffy persona was so off-putting and not befitting of the cloth he wore.

    About fifteen years ago I hosted an elegant dinner party – most of which wasn’t eaten. One man refused to eat anything with vegetables – anything including the beautiful pureed zucchini soup. One of the other guests refused to eat anything with dairy. Neither had allergies. One didn’t like vegetables – the other didn’t like the texture of dairy products. I wanted to tell them to get a fucking grip. *sigh* I’d gone to great expense and labor to provide a beautiful meal that was barely touched.

    SO, now I ask beforehand, which often makes entertaining a challenge. Several of my friends must abide a gluten free diet, which I understand. One simply doesn’t like onions. Another doesn’t like mashed potato. Another doesn’t like celery. SERIOUSLY!

    But I ask because I like to entertain and I like to have my guests to enjoy and be satisfied, but I think the *entitlement* of these likes and dislikes is silly and… well, silly.

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    1. The problem of feeding people here is two fold: the upsurge of food sensitivities, some of them quite serious and secondly, the upsurge of preferences which are as rigid oftentimes as the food sensitivities. I think the Polish gut hasn't quite kept pace with the western gut (recognized allergies among Polish people my age are very rare) and the social norms would absolutely stand in the way, even among closest friends, of stating preferences. What I find curious in this (or at least in the first of the two points) is that the Polish palate veers toward the less healthy: high fat, high carb, less veggie based, etc etc. My friends are more western leaning in what they eat, but still, they like their pierogi and sausage just fine. Which makes me speculate (on a very small sample, to be sure!) that there are two life style trends that are uniquely Polish-European: the very small reliance on processed foods and the high emphasis on movement and exercise, which, though not a panacea, surely has a role. I'm just guessing here...

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    2. I really can't see this behavior as a Polish/American variance. Note the difference between my comment and Irene's. Some people are just rude and self-centered, all over the world. I applaud Irene for referring to this dinner of fifteen years ago - apparently these particular boors were not invited again!

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  4. I am sure your hunch is right Nina. There was a recent Catalyst program here on recent research into the good and bad bacteria of the gut and it seems it does lie behind all sorts of inflammatory/autoimmune/allergy conditions. And it does respond to diet. Unprocessed foods and exercise are both shown to help - even asthma, MS etc. Sugar - and especially the corn syrup the US introduced to processed foods - seems more the culprit than fats. Jean

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