Friday, January 23, 2015

thinking back, looking forward

When I retired a year ago from the university, I didn't quite cut off all ties to the Law School. I transitioned to an "emerita" status and the assumption is that if I want to, I can continue to contribute in some small ways to academic life.

But I was so out of breath from all the years of teaching within all those substantive areas, that once I moved my office belongings out of the Law School building (11 months ago),  I couldn't even get myself to go near the campus.

Now, I'm less reluctant to step on university soil, though I still do not look for opportunities to go there. Even as sometimes, it's unavoidable. In a couple of weeks, I have a meeting with women law students about some of the challenges they're likely to face in their careers. And today I did something a little more drab and routine -- I went over to tidy up my email account and migrate my gazillion and one emails to a new system the university now uses.

That, in itself is not interesting. But the trip to campus was a bit of a shock.

After a leisurely breakfast...


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... I left my "do things leisurely" hat behind and rushed to campus. To my usual parking lot, from which I almost always, in the past, ran to my office. This time, I restrained myself, but I remembered the feeling of hurry. Of arranging lecture thoughts in my head. Of wanting to do a triple check of a fact before class.. oh, do I have time? Maybe! If I run! -- I remembered all that.

At the school itself, I kept my curiosity in check and stayed away from the main offices. You can only give an answer to "how's retirement?" so many times and even in my small orbit, I ran into enough people that the word "great!" started sounding empty and a bit boastful.

After, I went out on Bascom Hill. A version of this had been my view for a number of years...


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Before I moved to the farmette, I watched the seasons display their extraordinary colors here. This winter, there's too little snow to make for a beautiful canvas, so I walked on toward our main lake -- just steps from my former office. It is perhaps our greatest treasure, this huge lake of ours and even on a cloudy day, it looks sublime.


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Too, I walked along a bit of State Street -- the eclectic street of shops and eateries, linking our campus with the Capitol...


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...and I thought to myself how much more walking I did when I worked in the city. And so that part of my return felt especially nice.

But after a while, I was done. I tested the waters and decided that my work at the farmette,  my love of travel and writing, and of course, my heavy preoccupation these days with little Snowdrop -- they all warrant (with very tiny exceptions) a continued break from campus life.

It felt exceptionally good not to hurry after that. I made my way home slowly, never once going over the various speed limits, not running, not counting the minutes of the day in my head.


Back at the farmhouse, I did turn on my engines a tiny bit: the house needs a solid once over in preparation for a very special visitor tonight. Little Snowdrop is spending an evening here while her parents go out.

I cannot wait!

The music boxes are wound up. Two new books await her. Burp cloths are washed and folded, the pacifier scrubbed, a new baby lotion with calendula and oatmilk stands ready at the changing table (because the air is so dry in winter!).  A froggie pajama is there, too -- in case she wets whatever she is wearing.


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Later:

And again I am transported in time -- a more distant time, when my youngest was a baby, in need of attention, especially at our dinner time and so I learned to cook and hold, sing, stir, anything to accomplish the dual goal of serving a fresh and honest meal and keeping a baby happy. This is when I learned the importance of mise en place: translated to mean -- get your ingredients ready when the baby is resting!

Little Snowdrop is so young that she has a good dose of sleepy in her -- at least in intervals, so you can count on her looking like this for a little while...


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Isie boy is not convinced of her innocence.  I encourage him to check her out and he does...


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...but then quickly retreats to the bedroom upstairs. At least he doesn't hide under the bed -- he reserves that for storms and dangerous looking people.

And so we ate and she slept and she woke and we played...


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and played, and played...


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and it was a delightful evening. Utterly delightful. And because I'm just the grandma, I get to ponder life with a glass of wine now, while the young couple takes on the task of taking home a very tired little baby and putting her to sleep. Where's the fairness!


8 comments:

  1. That's the Madison I remember. Nice little college town. I've often thought that you could continue your "person on the street" photos at home... bistros, trees and all don't have to Parisian to be so interesting. But I see now, you're just not in the frame of mind to think of the campus area very romantically. It's been a big shift! and I'm glad it's been good for you.

    Snowdrop! Does Mama pump breast milk for you to feed her? Mary did that for the first time this week, and hoped that Cadence would accept it from Daddy, and she did, "like a champ" he said. I am crazy to see her again, it's only been a week! We have to stay home next week because we're grandpup-sitting while the youngest couple jets off to a romantic Caribbean vacation. They are SO busy, they really deserve their getaways, so mentally healthy.
    But when I'm free, which way do I go? South to my babygirl, or north to my mother?

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  2. Isie and Snowdrop; that picture is just fabulous!

    I loved the campus pics as well as your thoughts on being away from it all. I feel that too, now, when I visit. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  3. Fair -- shmair! The cuteness trumps fair. So cute. I've read that small babies and animals commune with each other by telepathy instead of words, so I'm sure Snowdrop was having a nice chat with Isie-Boy when he came by. I personally love that Snow is getting a good dose of animals at a very early age (she does have two cats!) because a child growing up without animals in his/her life is just so sad. (((hugs)))

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  4. This is a beautiful post of musings (!), even Ed seems to be in a pensive mode...the reflections of your campus life, the joy of little snowdrop, all in a wondrous day. I love reading how you have slowed your pace and have the time to capture ordinary moments, making them special. As if I needed encouragement, your grandma delight heightens my own anticipation (we are in the last week of waiting now).

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  5. I remember going to a drum corps show at the university. Loved the drive between the lakes! You live in a beautiful area, Nina.

    I had to smile at the pic of Isie and Snowdrop. Did you see the hackles raised on him? He sure didn't know what to make of her.

    As to where's the fairness? The fairness lies in the fullness of time, when Snowdrops parents become the grandparents and get to send their grandchildren home.

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    1. That's why I was in Madison! Our two younger sons were drummers with the Bluecoats. More than the incredible music and more than the huge amount of fun and pride, I think that the Bluecoats experience really made them the team leaders they grew up to be, and good team members in the grand tour of life. :)
      Go Bluuuue!)

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  6. This is an interesting patchwork of your life. What a beautiful area! It seems you've chosen well - you have it all. Bravo! Snowdrop melts in my heart. So sweet. Love.

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  7. Love it! You should see my batch of Ocean Snowdrop photos... almost, but not quite, as good as taking my own.

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