dolce far niente

I do not have a talent for idleness. Oh, that's not to say that I don't fritter time away on useless pursuits, but most hours of the day (and sometimes, unfortunately, at night) you'll find me doing something.

But today I'm trying to discover the beauty of that act of sluggish languor, so perfectly captured in the phrase dolce far niente (the sweetness of doing nothing).

Of course, there are the cheepers and there is the laundry and, too, trying to figure out how a mouse repeatedly enters our trash bin. (Could it be that the same mouse travels many miles for this one destination -- our garbage? Because we have never had a mouse enter the kitchen bin before and this one seems interested in nothing else but that).

But after a luxuriously late breakfast...






...I ran out of immediate "must dos." I looked out the window and thought of a book that Snowdrop loves, in which a goose and a duck, on the final page, are sitting on a field of grass and looking up at the white clouds drifting by. If they can do it, so can I!

(The photo is out the kitchen window, through the screened porch.)






It's not meditation really. It's lolly-gazing. It's feeling the slowness of time.

Still, I can't do it for long. I make myself a cup of tea and settle in to read.

And then, I indulge in something even better -- a leisurely Skype session with the friends I was to visit in Florida. Honestly, if you cannot travel, what better way to talk than through video chat? Oh, we are a spoiled people!


Late afternoon. It's so rewarding to see the sun now! It wont set until around 5, which is so wonderfully late! Ed and I go out for a walk along the rural roads. We've been discovering the quieter ones just to the south and east of us. It's really true that you miss the detail if you simply drive through them.

I'll leave you with photos from our walk. This is the true winter that I am so used to here, in the northern parts of the country. It's a beautiful winter. At least today, we surely felt it to be so.







(We strayed to a path through the bordering marshlands.)












(Then, back along the road, past farms and fields, past tractors hauling stuff, even in the cold season.)

gap day

You know how some kids take a year off before or after college to take stock and to recalibrate? It's called a gap year. Well, call today my gap day.

Somehow, even though I'd gotten a good night's rest (finally!), and have a mild weekend ahead, and have an easy cheesy day before me and a lovely breakfast to start us off...






...By the time I get to the grocery store to do my weekly shopping, right there, halfway between restocking all my veggies and selecting the cheese for the week I feel lousy.

The moral of the story -- we all need a gap day to keep the machinery oiled and running.

I spent a good part of the day visiting doctor's offices and I had some very pleasant conversations with some very excellent medical people. I especially loved the doctor I saw who kept insisting he had seen me at Dragonfly Yoga where he and his wife routinely do, well, yoga. I assured him I'd been only to Perennial and he looked glum at that: I'm loyal to Dragonfly, he said. I felt sorry that I wasn't who he thought I was, but still, we had great rapport.

Because I hadn't felt well in a grocery store, I left it to Ed to pick up and put away the groceries, which was very funny as he puts lettuce on a top shelf and leaves flowers lying flat on the counter top until I come home. I mean, the man needs me!

Once I felt better, I sought to recover the rest of my day which included spending some few hours with Snowdrop. I did not have my camera and so all you get is one iPhone photo of a most sparky, lovely and lively little girl.






And that's it! Ed and I are hanging loose tonight. My gap day requires it!

Thursday

Ed, knowing that I need more than anything, a leisurely wake up, is off in the morning to tend to the cheepers. I take the time to think. I'm tired and just a wee bit sniffly, but there is nothing like a brand new morning to set the mind in a good direction.

First, importantly, I'll use this weekend to catch up on rest. I was to go to Florida for a wonderful reunion with my good friends, but I see that what I really need is time to unwind at home.

Second, I'll put some thought into other strategies in terms of The Great Apartment Hunt. Because it's not true that this has been a failed search. I learned a lot about real estate in Poland -- how things work, how it all proceeds. I learned about the market. About neighborhoods and communities. I feel much more connected to it all. I'm not just the person coming back after a long absence. I'm more informed, I understand what I want and what can and cannot be accomplished.

And I've met some interesting people and developed some connections for further work on this project.

Alright. Time for breakfast -- in the front room. A relaxed breakfast. A happy few minutes.






And then I am with Snowdrop. The energetic, adventurous Snowdrop. No commentary. Just photos:
























I'd forgotten that she is to spend the evening at the farmhouse. (What's the point of typing it into a calendar if I don't check the calendar?) How could I forget? Well, it's been that kind of a week. We are delighted of course to have her. I'll not post yet another photo of her joyful face. Though I do wish I had a picture of her delight when I fed her some shavings of real parmiggiano reggiano.

Wednesday

In the middle of the night Ed says -- I think the garbage mouse has been caught. I hear mouse noises downstairs.
He goes down, comes back -- yep. We have him. He's very active. He's likely to work his way out of the trap in the course of the night.
Maybe you could take him into the fields now?
Want to come?
No!
Why don't I put the whole trap in some glass jars for now ...

Five minutes later he is back looking rather sheepish. He was such a cute mouse. Very frisky.
What do you mean "was"?
Well, I opened the trap a tiny bit to feed him a peanut for the night...
And?
He escaped.

You have setbacks with mice. It's just the way it is.

Morning. I'm up early. That full night of sleep is still elusive. Darn mice. Still, I have places to go people to see (mainly Snowdrop).

I go downstairs just at the crack of dawn. Ah, I see the mouse came back, aiming for the garbage can again and being tempted by the peanut butter in the trap. So perhaps not so smart after all! I lock the captured critter in a plastic bin -- to be driven away into the fields later.

The cheepers are released, and now breakfast is ready. In the kitchen again. I'm in a rush.






Snowdrop is just waking up when I arrive and we have our beautiful morning together.












Though I admit, my eyes are a bit on the computer. I'm supposed to hear from the "quiet apartment" owners whether my offer is acceptable. But I hear nothing.

Is there to be a failed search? Am I going to have to start all over again? I get tired just thinking about it. Sleep deprivation makes you think everything is bigger, heavier, weightier than it really is.

Never mind. Snowdrop keeps me busy and in the best of ways!






At the same time, she treasures her independent moments. It's incredible and so satisfying to see that some of her favorite times are with books.






Toward the end of the afternoon, I hear from the Warsaw apartment people. They're proposing a complicated agreement which effectively postpones the sale until a time when they find a place to move to.

On the one hand, I understand. On the other, if I agree, then there is a lot of waiting in store for me. It's not a quick and easy step toward finality, that's for sure. Well, on the upside for the Ocean reader, I'll be putting the topic of apartments to the side for a little bit. There is no sense in a daily repetition of the obvious: I'll move into a Warsaw place (for the days I'm there), but it wont be quick or easy.

January 19

At times, it seems like you've been through this day before. (Which, by the way, is not necessarily a bad thing!)

A wake up to a cold day (I would improve on this if I could).

I let the cheepers out and thank Butter profusely for laying an egg before my eyes. If you don't pick it up soon after it pops out, it freezes. Ed claims it's delicious anyway, but I wont use it (for one thing the shell cracks).

I walk back to the farmhouse...






... but with a detour to the car to check on the mouse situation. Okay. The trap is untouched -- peanut butter still inside. That means for sure that the mouse exited when we left the door open yesterday. Satisfied, I retreat into the warmth of our kitchen.

I rush to get breakfast ready. Ed still sleeps -- who can blame him. We had one of our late night discussions about work, play, apartments. They're wonderful conversations, but honestly, I'm way too sleep deprived right now and reviewing life as we know it at 3 a.m. is probably not the cleverest of ideas. Never mind. I'll catch up tomorrow. Surely I've been down this sleepy path before.

In the kitchen, as I throw away an empty container of something or other, I notice the tell tale sign of a chewed garbage bag.

Really??

It appears that the mouse left the car and came right back into the warm house (smart creature), going straight for the garbage can again. This time the mouse remembered that how you get in is also how you get out.

How many times will this repeat itself? How does a pea brained mouse have such a good memory?

Fortunately, I do find the problem: the garbage can has a hole in the back for picking it up and moving it around. Obviously an entry point. Blocking it will be easy (I hope). Catching the mouse? Well, this is what you do when you live in a hundred year old farmhouse: you have to keep at it all winter long. This year we've been lucky because until now, the occasional critter has kept mostly to the basement. But cold nights breed desperation. We'll be reloading all the traps tonight.

We eat a rushed breakfast. Just in the kitchen.






And then I'm at Snowdrop's.

She is just waking up and I go through her morning routines with her; Breakfast, bath time, the usual stuff. And then she plunges into play.






It's a good time to be with her -- she is full of energy and fun.






And she can amuse herself enough now...


 


... that I have no trouble calling her great aunt (my sister) in Warsaw  to discuss the what ifs in terms of the apartment purchase. I'm hoping that we'll have a beautiful end to the negotiations tomorrow, but of course, I've been down this path before too. Things can unravel. Though this time I know I wont be the one unraveling the strings of an agreement.


Upstairs, she is back to being Christophera Robin again...






It's repetition, but with twists and turns. (And spins and rolls.)






..Because little kids do not ever do the same thing in completely the same fashion as the time before.






And then, because I have a dinner out with friends from law school work days, I don't return to the farmhouse. I go to a coffee shop where I do not buy coffee but a glass of wine and I give myself time to think. Not about the apartment. Not about Snowdrop this time either, but about another little one -- my younger daughter -- who turns 31 today.

(Here she is at two and a half. I always thought Snowdrop has a bit of her in appearance. I keep this photo, which actually in its entirety is of both daughters, in Snowdrop's playroom. Snowdrop looks up at it constantly, as if she sees her mom and her aunt in it and mentally reels them back to her own age and station in life.)






My daughter is, of course, in Minneapolis and I am here. Not too far away by American standards, but far enough that I can't go up to give her a birthday hug. But I spend these few minutes thinking about her and they're good minutes, beautiful minutes.





Oh, I do hope she has a happy day!

Back at the farmhouse now. It's cold, but we're in for a warming trend. By Sunday, we may jump above the freezing point. All this is enough to make me smile and smile.

a Monday at the farmhouse

It was the coldest of the cold nights. Yes, I slept some, but I had important issues to discuss with my sister in Warsaw and of course there is the time difference: if I want to settle on a strategy before offices open for the day, I need to talk to her by 10 a.m., her time. Which, of course is 3 a.m. for me. I wont call it a sleepless night, but surely this is not what's meant by a good night's rest.

Issues to discuss? What issues? Several of you weren't sure what my next move would be with respect to the purchase of the Warsaw apartment. Well you might wonder! Deciding on the next step took up most of my thinking time in the 11 hours I spent in the air and the 10 hours I spent at airport terminals yesterday. Well, maybe I devoted just one of those hours not to thinking real estate thoughts, but to chatting to my seatmate  -- a well traveled man who makes at least three or four trips to South Africa each year. For pleasure (and because his wife is from there and she probably insists on it). Suddenly my own travels seemed very simple and uncomplicated.

To remind you: I chose to purchase an apartment that wasn't as beloved by me in terms of style and decor as one of the others, but nor was it as troubling in terms of location as the more beloved. It was a compromise: not as good, not as bad. And then I un-chose it because I felt I had been lied to and that the fundamental problems with it had been swept under the fake wooden floor.

In the end, I decide that the next step will be to make verbal offers on both of the remaining two units (that's the way it's done in Poland: negotiations are almost always verbal). It's like shaking things up a bit and seeing where the dust settles.


And now comes the time to get up and get going. I fix breakfast. It's lovely to have Ed across from me again.






I clear the dishes, wipe down the counter, tossing the paper towel into the garbage can.

What's this? The plastic garbage bag is all chewed up. In fact, the trash bin is chewed up from the inside.

Oh I know what that means. We have a farmhouse visitor. A mouse.

How the hell a mouse would get into a tightly lidded garbage pail is beyond me, but it's there. Right in the garbage bag. Moving about among scraps of trash.

Ed!

I take out the torn bag with mouse, stick the whole bit in another bag and I hand it all to him.
The mouse will chew through that in two minutes... Ed reminds me.
Then hurry!

When he returns, I ask if he released the mouse.
I don't know -- I shook the bag and didn't hear a mouse, so maybe.
It didn't escape in my car, did it?
I don't think so. I kept an eye on the bag.




By noon, Snowdrop arrives. Hi sweet sweet girl!
Ah, straight to penguin she goes.



















Where is grandpa Ed, she seems to ask and then hurries over for her welcome snuggle.






And again, in my absence, she seems to have grown into the next developmental stage, or the one after. She stomps around with confidence, but also responds with much more attention to my words. In other words, she is a terrific toddler!












When she naps, I scoot out to the car to look inside.

All is quiet.

And then I see it. The mouse had escaped the bag and is now in the car.

Ed!

I leave a trap inside, but I know this smart generation of winter mice. They can bite through anything. Our unwelcome guest had chewed hard on the garbage can in an effort to get out. (How did it get in??) What you don't want is to leave a mouse inside a car too long. It'll damage the vehicle in no time.


And the apartments? Well, of the two remaining, the central one with the great decor responded to my offer with a flat no, not that low.. They'd just listed it and wanted to wait to see if a person with fuller pockets would come along. The owners of the other place asked for a couple of days' time.

Appropriate responses, both of them. Come Wednesday, I'll know which apartment will be mine. (Ha! I had that certainty once before!)


Ah, but the day doesn't end there. I had invited the young parents to stay for dinner when they came to pick Snowdrop up.

And so there was food to prepare and a kitchen to tidy after. Oftentimes, Snowdrop helps. Here we are on a selfie, Polish bear in hand!






I'd rarely seen Snowdrop so happy as this evening. Suddenly, the world knew no limits.






She chomps down fistfuls of food and gives us winning grins all night long.












And now of course my eyes are nearly closed and tomorrow I resume my early Snowdrop sitting schedule. And you know what? That's a grand thing indeed.

Decisions

The final quest, deliberation and decision concerning the acquisition of a Warsaw apartment happened soon after my sister and I left Lazienki Park -- that place of tremendous beauty, enhanced even more by the snowfall of the previous day. We were on Pulawska Street -- a broad boulevard that slopes down to the south of the city. The third apartment that I had wanted to see was at the corner of this street, but about four kilometers away from the park. The question for me was this: has the neighborhood changed here in the past decade? Has it improved? Is there a sense of community? Would I enjoy walking these blocks in the future, or would I just want to hop on the metro and get away?

As we neared the apartment building, we came across this cafe. It's part of a bakery with very traditional Polish cakes. We had some time before the appointment with the agent and the owner (in Poland, you tour the place with both) and so we sat down for a coffee. I couldn't resist a poppyseed cake.






I let out a deep sigh of relief. Maybe it was the poppyseed cake, but for whatever reason, it felt good to be there. The neighborhood passed the inspection. If the apartment lives up to its description, it will be the place of choice and my future home for travels to Poland.

And now we come to the block with the building that houses the one bedroom apartment. The listing refers to it as a building of historic interest and I think that is quite correct. It's one of the not too many prewar buildings in the city (and in Poland, "prewar" refers to only one war -- the war, the one that toward its conclusion left most of Warsaw in rubble) -- date of construction: 1934.

(Here, you see the corner. By allowing an ad agency to place an advertisement on its facade, the housing coop brings in extra money to the coop pool for repairs and improvements.)






The entrance is around the corner and by American standards, it's very bleak. In Poland, most people would not give it a second thought. They'd merely look to see what's beyond the gate (there'll be a second entrance inside).






This particular building privatized quite recently -- five years ago I'm told. The coop that formed is invested in its future and they have improvement project lined up, one of which is revamping the stairwell. I am used to very rundown stairwells in this city and so I was pleasantly surprised. I thought it was quite adequate. The mosaic tiles at the landing appear to be again "of historic interest" and they will be preserved after the renovation.







The unit I'm to view is on the top floor -- fourth by American standards -- and the building has no elevator. Again, this is not unusual. One of my Polish friends commented that not having an elevator probably added ten years to his aging parents' lives.

Because it's a high floor (with higher than average ceilings), the noise from the streets is barely perceptible.

The windows face south and on a day like this, the sunshine overwhelms the spaces. Here's a view of the open plan living room, leading back into a kitchen nook and forward toward the bedroom.






The apartment, I'm told, was gutted and redone a year ago and since then, the young owners have used it as an investment: they operate an AirBnB out of it.

And this was an eye opener for me: The photo doesn't show it, but parts of the spaces, the walls, the bathroom are already looking warn. What's with people?! The shower leaks, the cabinets are chipped, the door frame is rotting, there are smudges and stains on the wall. Cosmetic, but still. I mentally calculate to deduct costs of repair from my offer.

I consult with my sister. She's willing to oversee the work. And so I enter into negotiations with the owner and agent.

The bargaining continues throughout the rest of the afternoon. By phone on the street. Quickly ducking into a tea shop to warm up and continue (by phone) from there. (I thought it was opportune to stare at the sign on the well about, effectively, taking it all in stride.)






On and on, back and forth, but by the time I have to leave for my friends' house for a dinner party, we have a deal! Negotiations switched to how and when we should enter into a preliminary and then final agreement. Everyone is in a rush: if I am to let go of the other apartments, I dont want to lose this one to a more moneyed buyer. The agent obviously doesnt want to lose the sale. The owners badly want the cash, as their other investment -- the sale of green teas (yes, Poland is changing!) needs a capital boost. And so we work quickly toward the deal, to be notarized, deposits made, etc etc on Monday. (My sister, sweet person that she is, will do all this for me.)

We ride the metro to my friends' place now for dinner. [My sister is invited as well -- my Warsaw friends were like family to me once and perhaps they still are. My real family -- sister, daughter, granddaughter, partner -- is always of concern to them and it is always welcome.]  I reflected how, in the end, my warm feelings toward the apartment come not only from the sunshine that pours into the rooms, but also from knowing that this spot survived a tumultuous period of war and reconstruction and now, more recently, it proudly holds its own in Warsaw's complicated real estate market.

On a more practical level, I love that at the side of the entrance, there is retail space that has been taken over, I'm told, by someone who wants to put a restaurant-cafe-bar at the ground level. Talk about having a neighborhood bistro right at your doorstep!


And now we come to the social part of the evening. I wont spend many words on it. My friend is a great cook and so the food is fantastic... (Here: a fish pate on arugula for starters.)






In a corner, a female subset reflects on the difficulties of the year gone by. It was a great year for me, but a terrible year for some of the others. There is a lot to talk about.






Someone finds a laptop and these guys examine photos of my new apartment.






Below,  a photo of our whole group. Oh, there are a handful of others who are missing, but these guys are the essentials. They are my closest and beloved Warsaw friends.






It's terrible to watch the clock tick down the hours. My flight back home leaves at 6 and so by 4 a.m., I'll have to leave for the airport. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I left Madison on Wednesday. And yet we stay and talk until someone realizes that her dog needs to be let out and so we slowly allow the evening to come to an end.

I return to my sister's and use the remaining hours of the night to draw up lists of things that need to be done with respect to the apartment. It's not a short list. We talk about what should happen when. We talk about where I can buy a bed -- the one essential piece of furniture before I can stay there. And I catch up with email, with blogging, with packing, with reaching Ed back home and making up additional lists of things to do after reviewing the apartment purchase with him.

By the time I'm done, it's pretty much time for me to leave.

The taxi takes me to the airport, I catch the flight to Amsterdam. I eat my breakfast at the airport. Same one as last time! I relax. I am counting on sleeping on the plane. I am absolutely exhausted.

The Amsterdam layover is long, but I'm okay with that. I stretch out and having done all that needs to be done, I surf the Net.

It strikes me that I could look at how the Airbnb unit fared -- remember, the apartment I am buying was, for the past year, hosting paid guests.

I read the reviews. 4.5 stars out of 5. You think that's good? I'm not at all convinced. AirBnB reviews are, for whatever reason, terribly inflated. I read on. There are dozens of reviews. For once I dont care about the ones that grouse about the occasional lack of neatness. But I do care about the ones that talk about the flooded shower. Again and again.  About the scars -- nicks, cracks, unhinged that, broken that -- which come from a hard use.

Have I been lied to? About the active co-op? About the restoration itself? About the quality of workmanship? In the end, what's true and what's fiction?


I call my sister and tell her to call the deal off.


I'm back to agonizing in a state of no sleep and not insignificant time pressures over the virtues of primarily residential versus primarily commercial neighborhoods. Over beautiful interiors as opposed to beautiful neighborhoods.

I get on the plane from Amsterdam to Detroit in a daze. My real estate venture has blown up in my face. I am such a bad capitalist.



Detroit now. A five hour layover. Soon I'll be boarding for Madison where the air is as cold as its been this year. Ed will be waiting in the car. I'll exhale once more.

But I'll leave you with another Warsaw winter photo -- from yesterday's walk in the park. Decisions about apartments are insignificant as compared to the beauty of that walk through Lazienki and the prospect of many more such walks in the years to come. One must remember that.