It seems that following the herd is dumb, but ignoring cues from where the herd is grazing is even dumber.
So if my commenters tell me I should bowl, and I should wear a special bowling shirt and I should drink beer while bowling, who am I to ignore the green fertile lands of commenter experience?
Ed and I went bowling this Sunday morning. So full of hope…
Light ball. I need a light ball. I have weak wrists and weaker than weak thumbs.
A glance, to the left, a glance to the right. Oh, I see that there are others looking for light balls.
But the little guys get help!
And still, there are the gutter balls. And tears.
I so understand!
Ed and I start out with placing our balls straight in the gutters. Secretly, I am pleased. I am well matched!
But within four rolls, Ed gets a grip. The man is powerful. I am surprised that when he hits his pins, all pins in all lanes do not fall.
And he becomes accurate. Strike. Split. Shit. I mean, darn. Me, I’m getting weaker. He’s getting stronger.
My pickle shirt isn’t working. Hey, commenters, you told me to wear a shirt! Ed explained that you meant one with words. I have a pickle shirt. I'm wearing it! So what happened??
Oh! The beer. I forgot about the beer.
Do you sell beer before noon?
Of course!
What do you have on tap? (This is one bad question to ask in my home state: there’s too much choice.)
Blue Moon? That sounds cool. What’s it like?
Fruity.
Great! Like having Sunday brunch with a mimosa. Fruity!
(I have never in my entire life had a beer before noon. But, if this is what it takes…)
At first, my game (we’re on the second one now) falters. My wrists are protesting.
But soon, I get out of the gutter. And by the third game, I end with my best: 59!
On the phone with a close one later on, I say: guess what, I got more than half! Fifty nine!
Really? Just that? Hmm.
Wait, this is good, no? I mean, you told me you’re not so hot at this either.
Fifty nine, eh?
Hilarious. And, thankfully, not life-threatening, compared to other cliff-related adventures with your OTC.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha. I love your blog. Talk about a sudden descent from the sublime to the ridiculous. There's something inherently funny about bowling alleys. Actually, everything about bowling alleys is inherently funny. When I was 8 my mom tried to learn how to use a sewing machine, before she gave up I begged her to make a bowling shirt for me. I didn't care much for bowling, I just wanted a shirt like that. She tried her hand at it. the result was terrible. I loved it to death.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me laugh out loud. I'm surprised that, in all of your years associated with the UW, you haven't had a beer before noon. Truly shocking.
ReplyDeleteNext Sunday, let's all go to a Quaker meeting. Ed might like that!
ReplyDeleteQ2
Nina,
ReplyDeleteI think commenters were thinking more along the button-front line of bowling shirts.
You're wearing a tee-shirt, with words or not. Check out this, which is more the bowling shirt look, I think:
http://www.bowlingshirtwizard.com/bowling-shirt/index.htm
http://www.bowlingshirt.com/bowling_shirts.bv
Or hit the thrift shops and maybe you can even find one with somebody else's name. 59? I blame the tee-shirt look. Freedom of movement and all...
Mardi Gras bowling shirts, even!
http://www.bowlingshirt.com/
Free beads! (Ed will like, no?)
Of course, with beer AND a bowling shirt (with appropriate bowling team name, such as "The Bowl-derdashes") you also should wear your kayaking helmet. The real Wisconsin Sunday brunch.
ReplyDeleteI bowled a strike once. For the guy two lanes over from where I was standing. In a very crowded bowling alley in Hong Kong. Utter silence ensued. I was the only foreigner there, too, as well.
ReplyDeleteFunny!
ReplyDelete(BTW, I liked bowling. And I love my pickle shirt -- it advertizes a store in NYC that sells only pickles -- even though I know it's not the right kind. It's cotton and doesn't snag. And I think bowling scoring is silly. Fifty nine is up there!)
Great pics of your fun looking time!!
ReplyDeleteI've never had a beer before lunch either.
I may have to try that next time I go bowling. The very next time. :)
Have no idea when that will be - but it will be the next time.
I think the Quaker Meeting idea has legs. Maybe with a potluck following it. Ed might like that.
ReplyDeleteNext time, use the heavier ball. It will knock down more pins and go into the gutter less often. Then try to roll it consistently, adjusting your aim by the markers in the alley until you're mostly in the middle.
ReplyDeleteAfter you've done that, you'll be ready to try out for the UW law School team.
Barry