With camera lights glaring in your face, would you, without thought or hesitation, have said the same (assuming you are a mom)? Would I?
I panicked for a second. Do I have something in me that would push itself forward, in competition with motherhood? When I was significantly younger, I thought, at different ages, that I would make the following a priority: a career in journalism, then academic math, then academic economics, then academic sociology. Eventually law. But not without hesitation: confused and infused with wanting to be a cook, a photographer, a horticulturalist, a cartographer, a downhill racer, and through it all, a writer. When career choices weren’t pounding at me, I thought about wanting to be a “good person” rather than “an angry and selfish person.” I assumed I would also be a wife and mother, but I gave those categories no great thought. Dolls were a small part of my childhood play. I had them, but I didn’t quite know what to do with them. Not once I started going to school.
Still, it was hugely reassuring to realize that now and indeed from the first day after the birth of my first daughter, I think that the most important things that have come from me have been those done in my role as mom.
Perhaps nearly every mother would answer in the same vein. After all, we spend so much time on this project – it would be a shame to say that parenting is a mere secondary talent.
So, insofar as so many of us think the same way, why are we so lackadaisical in our preparation for it? I never held a baby until my own was born (at least this is my recollection) and I did more to sharpen my cooking skills than I did to figure out the mommy deal. Learn it as you go along.
I thought about this as I drove past my writer’s shed in the making. There it is -- to the left of the silo and the old barn:
I came home to the dusty draft of my writing project. I put it aside and called daughter. Not available. So I went back to the writing project.
Your love for your daughters, and your humble pride in who they are, is woven through the fabric of your entire blog. The thought may not be on the tip of your tongue, but look in the mirror and you will see the reflection of a mother smiling back at you. There is no higher calling.
ReplyDeleteHey, that shed looks pretty good. Pictures of the interior please, when ready. My favorite piece in The Guardian each week is a picture of a writer's study/office with a guided explanation by the writer of what all lies within.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement Nina, both here and on my blog. Even though I'm in the midst of motherhood, I too wonder if my answer would be as quick as Michelle Obama's. I have no doubt that it eventually would be that I am a mother and wife, but I also feel the tugs of a million other little dreams and things I'd like to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteAnd, though I know this stage I'm in with the boys is just a phase, it's quite inspiring for me to see that you are now a writer, horticulturist (sometimes!), photographer, journalist, the best law prof at the UW and cook (among many other things) all while still being a mom.
Motherhood has been my most rewarding endeavor, ever, and I look forward to being a grandmother someday. My family has lived in the same small town since 1881, which is kind uncommon in Southern California - having the extended family close at hand has been a major blessing and enhanced all of our lives.
ReplyDeleteYour shed looks awesome!
"So, insofar as so many of us think the same way, why are we so lackadaisical in our preparation for it?"
ReplyDeleteYou certainly never saw K's nightstand during the pregnancy! Prenatal health; first year development; first year health; Raising a Confident Child; Raising a Confident Girl; Your Baby's Mind; Prenatal Diet; Holding Your Baby; Coddling Your Baby; Swaddling Your Baby.
K never does anything without substantial research!