Tuesday, June 21, 2005

My summer vacation: essay written on the first rather than the last day of summer.

Let’s pretend I suddenly lost all writing skills. Let me rephrase that: the pretense has to be in the fact that I do have them but then am managing to disguise them well tonight in order to act like one who does not.

So let me give a brief synopsis of My Summer Thus Far:

The Daily Show was very funny.

Or was it that I was in the mood for it to be funny?
It was warm outside but I managed to not use the AC.

Who needs the AC anyway.
At work, I tidied up loose ends from the previous semester. [This was MONUMENTAL! Yay me!]
I cooked dinner for a change.
I walked in the morning, I walked in the evening, I biked in the afternoon.
I missed the full moon.
But my day was full.
The summer is a good season: it allows you to move forward in ways that winter would not.

A sign that had “Nina and Mr. B” written all over it

A friend passed this on, straight off of someone’s bike rack:

"Faster faster until the fear of death is overcome by the thrill of speed"

Yeah, I’d say that’s a pretty good way of looking at our current movements around town.


I have heard so many talk about it lately: are you motivated to work steadily, clean up your space, eat less, exercise more, meet new people? Are you motivated? Well are you? Work on it, damn it!

It sounds like a nightmarish rendition of New Year’s Resolutions. Resolve, resolve! Work, discipline, perseverance, determination. A Manifesto! That’s it, a Manifesto for a Better Life!

Better life.

Me, I want to learn to let go, to not be so charged and damn motivated. To think of a day where I accomplished nothing much and went to bed not buzzing or spinning as a good day. To not make to do lists, to work through projects methodically without rush or even much thought. Because most (I admit, not all) projects are rather low-pressure and are well served by insouciance rather than a mad rush of adrenaline. Oh, to not feel anguished and pained at the thought of a week ahead of me! To keep the windows open on the first day of summer and just listen to the sounds out there. And think they’re beautiful. And think about nothing more, for long stretches of time. Hours maybe.

Okay, I got that last thing going now. I’m motivated to work on the rest.