Can I brag a little? I'm good in a moment of crisis. I'm sure I will be the one dragging people out of an airplane after it crashes. If I'm told I must pack my bags, leave the country, and go into hiding, I'll start making lists of what to take. Maybe people who get tossed around between cultures, people with somewhat clueless and robotic parents, people who take on change as if it were part of the everyday (did I tell you about the day I got fired from a job? No? Well now, that was a life changing event!), maybe people like that are all good at the moment of The Great Unravel. I seem to have a pattern: crisis leads to quick action (remove passengers from plane!), followed by emotion (lots of tears), followed by very speedy mobilization.
I am at this moment in my "very speedy mobilization" phase.
But of course, there are the chores.
And breakfast. I thought I'd be eating alone, since I'm being a tough as nails partner right now...
But no, Ed wants to join me.
He makes another rather feeble attempt to get me to drop my idea of moving next week. Feeble, because he knows it's pointless: I've decided this is good, that there is no other way (that I can think of) to get him to focus on what he needs to focus on in order to preserve the awesome partnership (what a poor word choice that is! but is there another?) that we have going. Besides, I've signed a lease.
It is going to be an unusual move, to be sure. Ed will be out all week sailing. My lease starts Monday, but the movers aren't coming until Wednesday, so before that I'll be carting stuff myself. And because Ed will be gone for a few days (how long? we dont know -- ocean sailing is always unpredictable), I'll basically have to be at the farmhouse at least twice a day, and perhaps overnight. Without a mattress. Because of the animals. So, partially moved, for only part of the time.
I gently remind him that we were supposed to be biking in Door County this month (his idea) and that he let that one slide. And at least on this one, he feels sheepishly bad: let's go when I come back from sailing! Come on, we can stay in a really nice place! I have to smile at that: Ed, I'm moving for a reason! I'm not paying rent elsewhere to go on a vacation with you! At the same time, he knows and I know that we will be spending time together in the months ahead. How much time together? I haven't decided. We will see.
with so much love...
