Christmas Day

Merry Christmas to those who love this holiday. Happy Hanukkah to those who love this holiday. Happy winter to everyone!

It's a beautiful morning. Blue skies, just enough bite in the air to make you feel appropriately cold for this season. 

Good morning, chickens.

Good morning European Starlings.

Breakfast time. Ed comes down, but he isn't hungry. This is not unusual. I learned in our first months together that a set eating schedule works for him... most of the time. His appetite at breakfast fluctuates. Chocolate and pear panettone notwithstanding. Hungry or not, he is sweetly accommodating for a self-timed photo. I insist on it because as the designated photographer on holidays, you rarely see me in any of the photos. So I insert this one -- to prove that I was there! 

The day is very very full. I dont have many traditions exactly because everything that I ever did for Christmas, I invented, or adopted from what books or magazines suggested. And then, certain things stuck. And one of them is making a yule log, from a Gourmet recipe dating back to 2000. (I tried earlier ones, but this one was the best, in my opinion.)

Yule logs aren't hard to make, but they do take time.The flourless cake has to be baked early. And it has to cool before the cream is spread. And then it has to set before the ganache frosts the exterior. I've done it often enough that I should remember to get started immediately after breakfast. But, I linger over emails and such and it's nearly noon by the time I put it in the oven. 

When it's out, I let it rest and Ed and I go for a walk. The sun is out and there is still enough snow on the ground to make us happy to be out among the trees. 

 

 

 

 

 

Still, I have to rush him when we gets back. His job is to tidy up, To break up just a few more boxes. To vacuum.  Me, I have to really speed it up as well in the kitchen. 

(Here are the stages of yule log making:)

For the main course, I want to roast up a chicken (Ina Garten'srecipe because her stuff is always very straightforward), along with potatoes (these are J. Kenji Lopez-Alt's -- his are never easy, but always good), beans, salads, scallops for the pescatarian... In other words, there's stuff to do!

The young family arrives around 4. There's time to sneak in presents around my cooking imperatives. And in fact this is easy, because the boys' tables with their legos and city tracks (and the girl's "airplane seat" for her doll) are greeted with enthusiasm and so the three are kept busy by the new additions, while I work fast to throw things together for a 6:30 meal.

(the doll was sneaked in by mom from home)

(too, there are always snacks, and new books added to their collections...)

Yes, the grownups also do their gift exchange. All except for Ed, who is part of the giving team but absolutely refuses to ever be on the receiving end of things. My daughters learned early on not to try to coax him into even useful presents. Over the years I've come to appreciate not ever worrying about pleasing him with gifts (nor does he ever buy presents for me). I have others on my lists. That feels plenty!

The last stage of buche prep is working on a good presentation. The kids help with this: they hit it with "snow," and lay down the branches I'd picked from farmette lands. And add berries.

Dinner is only five minutes late! Amazing.

The details of this day sound... well, ordinary. And yet, there is absolutely nothing ordinary about it. Yesterday, Snowdrop told me -- Gaga, I changed my mind. I do believe in Santa Claus. I know what she is telling me: she sees the magic of this holiday. This morning "miraculously," a much, much wanted cat (from the shelter, not from the farmette!) appeared underneath their tree. They all know this cat is from their parents, but the fact that there is this animal they've wanted since September, when their other cat died -- well, it may as well have come from the North Pole. 

I hope your day had at least a hint of magic. And love. Lots and lots of love...

Christmas Eve

And here we are, the day of great importance to so many for so many reasons! For me it's very simple: it's a day, a time of year really, that celebrates human connection, nature's abundance, our ability to create beauty out of anything at all -- it's all front and center, where joy isn't just wallpaper in a drab house. Peace, love, reaching out beyond your own small world of concerns and grumblings. And on this Eve, you stand ready to engage, to give, or maybe just to soak in all that is good in the world around us. People go to church for this. As you know, I am not a church person. But I share a love of this holiday exactly because it celebrates such core elements in life -- the indisputably most important elements of our existence. 

So, yeah... Christmas Eve day. Beautiful, by definition.

It's cold again, which means that the melting snow of yesterday, froze into a nice ice pack today. Walking is treacherous! But the chickens have freed themselves from the barn. They want to roam!

I drive to Batch Bakery. I need loaves of baguettes. Again, I did not reserve any and I almost paid a hefty price for this essential component to several meals this week. But, I was in line early and nabbed the last four. Yes, they're baking all morning long, but had I come later, I would have had to wait a very long time for my share. 

While there, I picked up some croissants and cookies and admired a whole lot more.

I asked my sales clerk how long she'd been working today. Since 3! -- she said, eyes glazed over. Well yes, that is a baker's life. I did that on Saturdays for several years, a while back. Rolling croissants and baking gougeres. It's one thing to do it on Saturdays only, and it's another to bake like that every day of the week. And still, the atmosphere in the bakery is festive today. People are looking forward. At the very least, to wonderfully aromatic freshly baked stuff on the table. It's enough to make my heart dance!

At home, Ed and I sit down together...

... then he goes off to give blood, while I finish wrapping. (Well, almost finish.) Ed especially loves giving blood on Christmas Eve because they give out free t-shirts. Long sleeved ones that make him happy. 

By 2 o'clock, I have to leave. Where to? Well, I'm actually joining the young family for their Christmas service at St. Dunstan's Episcopal. Services haven't the meaning for me that they do for them, nonetheless, the kids are in the Christmas Pageant and I hear Sandpiper is very excited to debut in the performance as... wind. He gets to move around a lot. Sparrow is a little disappointed that his role -- snow! -- has no speaking part. Snowdrop is assigned the part of a muskrat, which in this iteration of the Pageant, apparently has a lot to say in the matter of... well, you know, the tough life of a muskrat in December.

(I tried hard to get a good picture of Snow and Wind, but Wind especially flew by me so fast, that it was always just a blur.)

In this very child-friendly service, there was a lot of discussion of the needs of animals living in the wild. Trays of nourishing foods were assembled. 

 

The music was of course very familiar and beautiful and everyone loved having a lit candle...

Okay, time to go home.

I cook Christmas Eve dinner, but I do it at their house, which brings with it its own set of challenges. Where might you have a medium sized pot and a wooden spoon? 

 (Sandpiper helps dish out the salads.)

  

Over the years, I really strayed from the Polish rock solid tradition of herring and borscht with uszka (meat tortellini) for the Eve meal. I made it easy on myself by doing a beef fondue, where all I had to do was cut up meat and make a salad and sauces. The young family has stuck with this menu and each year I go over there and we dip meat in bubbling broth. However, in deference to the pescatarian in our group, I add some salmon chunks this year, and in addition, I prepare a second pot of cheeses (gruyere and swiss)  for dipping bread. 

 

(With crackers to pop and crowns...)

They get ready for the big day then. I return home. 

At my age, you often like to roll back into your memories of past holidays -- their delights and yes, sometimes disappointments. All the riches of a long life! You remember the year you were charged with bringing home a tree (because no one else felt like doing it, and because there weren't stores nearby selling them). And the year you'd rummaged in your mom's closet to find Santa's gifts. (Mary Poppins album; not the original soundtrack, unfortunately!) The year you were stuck overseas because of snowstorms and almost didn't make it back home in time. A million vignettes like that, all leading to one big smile. 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, rejoice with the passing of solstice... May your days be full of love...

December food

Well now, that was some morning!

The trouble with having Christmas Eve fall on a Tuesday is that half of humanity takes Monday off from work to do food shopping. I should have anticipated that. I should have picked any other day in the month to shop, other than today. However, like everyone else, I thought -- my, that's convenient! Shop on Monday, cook on Tuesday! 

Mistake.

Here's another mistake: I woke up early (significantly before sunrise) and I decided to try to figure out what combination of physical indicators might lead you to diagnose yourself with one thing or another. I came up with a theory and I was excited to tell Ed about it. His response: A.I. could do it better at one hundredth the amount of time. Feed me the indicators and let's see what happens! -- he suggests.  

He was right, of course. Same diagnosis (So A+ for me for coming up with it in the first place), but much more nuanced and of course, speedy as the devil. Ed's been rather obsessed with AI lately, feeding it all sorts of questions on machine design. Perhaps not surprisingly, he has been very impressed with its capabilities. The reason I mention it here though is that the whole "game" threw off my schedule. Not enough sleep, and, too, I lingered in bed luxuriously while he read out loud funny articles about "shouses" (combination houses and very large garages) and people's comments in the paper -- all well and good, but as a result, I began the day focused on stuff other than what I should be doing. I was running late before I even got out of bed! And all this playing around with questions and answers? It will come back to haunt me later in the day.

Animals were impatient. The snow? Starting to melt.

And then -- here's the really stupid thing: I decided that I would "run out" to the grocery store to pick up foods from my holiday list before we sat down to breakfast.

Be back in an hour! -- I shouted up to Ed. 

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

True, I had to stop at TWO grocery stores because the first ran out of meat. I buy red meat exactly once a year -- for the fam, for Christmas. I guess I did not remember that you have to preorder it. Oops!

Big crowds in both stores. I mean, hugely big crowds! But, I got it done. And I pulled into our driveway in time for breakfast at... 12:30 p.m.

Things aren't that bad. The house is warm, the lights on the tree are especially delightful because it is rather drab outside. W're having a very light snow fall, changing to rain this afternoon.

 

A friend stopped by with an annual gift of a homemade nut roll. I find this to be a really warm and kind gesture. There is no reciprocity here: we dont bake treats for people, let alone bring it to them. And yet, here we are, on the receiving end again. 

 

And this is how it gets to be dusk before you even sit down and allow yourself to feel the beauty of this pre-holiday evening. Unfortunately, that tranquility doesn't last. It is about now that I get an email from my doc's office. "You should be checked out by a real medical person (rather than by AI)..." Wait, you're telling me this at 5p.m.?  When it's already dark and your offices are closed and tomorrow's Christmas Eve?? 

Dutifully, I follow her orders and drive myself to the hospital. I'd rather do it tonight than waste time on it tomorrow. And of course, I'm fine.

And that's how the day got filled to overflowing. But tomorrow -- ah tomorrow. The day before Christmas, when all through the house...

 

 

with love....

December in wraps

There is no time for putting it off. No wiggle room here. It's now or never. I must wrap.

But first, well, can I interest you in some time spent on animal care? (Ever since the snow came down, the chickens refuse to leave the barn.)

And too, my friend is in town! Breakfast, morphing into the lunch hour, downtown. 

(the drive in...)

Haven't you heard -- adult time is very important, especially when you are 71!

And it is the last day of snow on the ground weather. So we must ski. Who knows when an opportunity will next present itself.

Finally. Get to work, Nina. 

Ed, I'm so sorry, but there will be many boxes and a mess and it will look awful here for a few hours... I suggest hiding in the sheep shed! He obliges. Hanging out with the cats in the shed is a priority of his in any event.

(I hide packages, once wrapped, in various corners of the play room; I've learnt not to flaunt Christmas too much in Ed's face.)

At long last I make progress. [Once again I vow to myself that I really will keep gifts under the 24 by 12 inch rule. Small is good! Right? Right??? Wrapping is more of a chore for me because I use recyclable paper and tape does not like recyclable paper; but it is especially a chore when the items are.... not tiny.]

I call Ed back and cook up some fish and spinach for supper. May as well inch into days of holiday indulgence feeling like I paid my dues in healthy eating. 

Hey, how about we watch Love, Actually? 

We've seen it many. Many. Times. 

I dont push it. The guy is so accepting of my holiday madness. Ok my love. You want to watch Pete the farmer rebuild his old truck? We can do that. Life is all about balance.

with love...

December solstice

How beautiful it is outside! How cold. Winter solstice, perfectly presented.

I have an unusual and supremely helpful calendar quirk this year: Christmas Eve is on Tuesday. From then until New Year's Eve, nothing will move slowly. But I have three days now to get ready. The kids are spending time with other grandparents and on their own holiday preparations. Ed and I have a very quiet farmhouse. Three whole days of it! Enough time for getting things in order, don't you think?

 

 

You know the saying -- "Kto nie doznal goryczy ni razu, Ten nie dozna slodyczy w niebie?" Well, okay, perhaps you don't know it. They're words from Adam Mickiewicz's epic poem Dziady -- a 19th century literary masterpiece known to every Polish person who completed high school. (Mickiewicz was a writer, but, too, he was actively engaged in politics, and many would regard him as a philosopher, a Romantic, a teacher, and military superstar.) It means "s/he who has never experienced bitterness, will never taste sweetness in heaven." My Polish lit teacher took it to mean (and I did as well) -- crudely stated -- that you cannot appreciate the juicy sweetness of an apple unless you've tasted a rotten one first (the apple metaphor is my own). Or sentiments to that effect. For me, this gentle roll into the holidays is especially beautiful because it wasn't always like that. Never mind that my parents weren't especially holiday or tradition inclined. When I was already with my own very young kids, the days before Christmas were madness. I was a law student when the girls were at their youngest ages. For six years, the first half of December spelled exams, often all the way until just before the holiday. And inevitably one of us would come down with some bug, because, you know, 'tis the season. And of course, there was no online shopping. And I insisted on baking stuff myself, because the offerings just weren't good enough back then. When my younger girl was old enough to dance in the Nutcracker and started amassing parts that required her to have ringlet curls, preparing her for rehearsals and shows was another level of craziness. Money was tight, time was scarce. All of it was a fever pitch level of insanity that would drive anyone to despair. And yet, I loved the holidays. I know others had it a thousand times worse. And so I didn't care. I let go of ambition. No writing for Law Review for me. No perfection anywhere, in fact. Just joy. I sweated through the tough times, the strep throats, the exams, the long lines in stores, helped along by the music and the scent of a balsam in the living room. All that is in the past, and now here I am, retired, with a whole weekend of no demands on me! The sweetness of this apple knows no limits!

Breakfast, with Ed. Oatmeal. I have to cut back on sugar!

 

And then my patient and ever so tolerant guy agrees to put together two big toys -- one for Sandpiper and one for Sparrow. 

I tell him it's the last time I will need to put together big toys -- there's enough in the farmhouse to last all kids until they stop playing with toys (which isn't that far off anyway).

I tell him I'll donate away three big toys (that I decided aren't worth the space they take up).

I tell him this will keep things neater in the play room.

I tell him these will give the kids hours of play.

He tells me that kids would play with bricks and cardboard boxes equally well. Evidence: Dance, the cat. Her hands-down favorite toy is Snowdrop's hair tie.

I tell him he doesn't have to do it. He grins, takes out his phillips and sets to work.

I tell him thank you very, very much!

Each boy gets a table with drawers for the toy that comes with it -- a train/plane thing for Sandpiper, and tiny classic legos for Sparrow -- and these tables with their quirky storage bins are what require many screws and much patience. I help assemble the actual toys. The whole project takes us the better part of the day.

 

 

 

But not so that we haven't the time to ski in the forest. On winter solstice day, this is nothing short of magical.

We head out in mid-afternoon, but of course, the light is already low now. (Our sunset today is at 4:26 pm; our sunrise was at 7:26 a.m.) And golden!

The forest is still -- the kind of still that you get only with a snow cover.

If trees really do take care of us, we said our thanks to them today. 

At home now. At dusk, the deer come to the farmette lands.

I feel as if on this day we've all come together -- animals, birds, the two of us -- to celebrate the passage of time, the shift toward brighter days, always.

with so much love...

December break time!

The last day of school for Snowdrop, Sparrow, Sandpiper and Primrose too. This afternoon rolls in the start of winter break. How I used to love a winter pause when I was a kid. The fall semester is unusually long and without a reprieve. Two months into it you realize you've got almost two more to go before you can catch your breath. And of course, winter break spells Christmas, full speed ahead! Lights, music, action! A kid's dream.

And of course, we wake up to snow. And sunshine!

There is a bit of a mad dash to this December morning, but you know, who isn't running around chasing a cat's tail these days (is that a thing? I have too many cats in my life...). We do start the day right: breakfast, together, with gratitude for a beautiful and snowy day!

I have an appointment then. And Ed needs to get his truck over to our front yard (big eye roll here). All this takes time. What we do want, more than anything, is to get back on our skis. It's kind of tight, schedule-wise, and it means lunch will have to be in the car for me -- while driving to pick up the kids -- but we manage it! 

I am thrilled to be skiing again! And Ed is too, though he has a couple of tumbles and he tells me later that his balance isn't as good as it was in years past. 

We're weirdly mismatched that way: I feel grand on skis and my pace is easily twice his. He, on the other hand, feels grand on the bicycle and only because I have the electrical charge on mine, can I hope to ever keep up with him. Perhaps the lesson here for all you young people is keep at it if you want your favorite movement to stay with you long into your senior years! (He's been biking forever, I've been skiing forever.)

I pick up the kids then. How was your last day of school? Amazing!  -- this from both of them. In their pajamas, with their stuffies. 

I have to say, I'll miss the December pickup mood. The kids are excited, agreeable, and swooped into the giddyness of the moment. Typically, they never want my music in the car (classical -- too staid!), but in December, they have loved my Christmas playlist. Choral, jazzy, all of it. The car rides have been made beautiful by it.

The weekend before me is for catching up, for baking, for wrapping. We're getting a blast of cold air, but in fact, the snow wont last for long. Weather bounces are not unusual for this month. For now though, it sure is beautiful out there.

with love...