The truth about Polish food

1. It blends into the background all too well.

Whole Foods has decided to occasionally feature foods from distant places by grouping together (fresh and natural) products, with signs explaining what’s special and unique about them. The first country to be so honored? Poland! Did I notice? No. At one point last week, I wondered why Polish pickles were taking up room in the aisle (by the meat section) given that it wasn’t barbecue season, but that’s all I noticed. Ann wrote me yesterday asking why I haven’t blogged about the Polish display, sending me immediately into a tizzy of remorse. I am making up for it today, giving it more space than it perhaps deserves.

2. It doesn’t lend itself to easy categorization.

Whole Foods says this about it: Polish cuisine is a blend of Slavic and foreign culinary styles (translate: it has no style) and it is distinguished by its use of foods with well-defined flavor profiles (translate: it’s boring, it’s not selling, let’s dress it up some!). They may be sweet, sour, or hot (who did the research on this?), but are always delicious (translate: positive thinking now, you hear??).

3. There’s not enough of it…

At least not enough to fill a display, because there in the middle, I found packets of “Sweet Clementine Organic Sugar Polish.” Ha! Another one of those poor translation jobs – I thought. Polish what? I picked it up, examined it, wondered if they even grew clementines in Poland, and was about to buy a packet to try it out when I noticed that further down it said “exfoliating and moisturizing.” Oh! It’s those hip sales clerks at Whole Foods having themselves a little joke! Add the face polish to the stand of Polish foods! Ha ha ha, thanks a lot. I almost ate the stuff.

4. It’s what’s inside that counts

Polish pilsner is excellent. Really, it is my favorite. I hardly ever drink beer here but in Poland, my sister has me taste a variety of brews and they are outstanding. But the packaging… For example: I was tickled to find EB beer in the display. It was positively providential because I am about to make chocolate crepes tomorrow (with poached strawberries) and believe it or not, my favorite recipe calls for three tablespoons of beer. Normally I would have thought – eh, I have no beer at home, no one will notice the difference. But then, lo and behold, there is EB and there am I and it’s as if we were meant to be together.

The first thing that happened when I unloaded the van in the garage was that the cardboard container holding the six bottles together disintegrated into Polish nothingness.

I need say no more: let me wrap this post up by showing off two photos: one from the Whole Foods display, the other from the unfortunate incident in the garage. Note how close the glass is to the tire that has already been thrice repaired this season. (Btw – if the beer freezes into crushed ice, how long will it retain its over-powering aroma?)