This morning, I attacked my mortal enemy. I'd had battles with it before, repeatedly in fact. But it had been a losing cause. I was ill equipped to face the powerful onslaught of this menace. I had to admit defeat. I surrendered, making only halfhearted attempts to stand proud and raise my sword. Without question, I was crushed.
In my new home at the Edge, I came with the most formidable weapon of all: determination and resolve. It helped that I had the right equipment, that the terrain was easier to navigate, that my enemy was at the sidelines, taking a nice long pause, thinking that no battle was imminent. I caught them by surprise! And today, victory was mine. At least on this go around. We will see if I can sustain my fierce fighting spirit.
[I am, of course, referring to dust. It grew in layers, in corners, behind books, on surfaces where cats frolicked, and among the tangled cords of equipment, on lampshades, baseboards and walls, unused pots and neglected toys. Covering over mineral deposits from the well water, attacking everything in sight. And dont even ask about the porch, where its presence was frightening! To the visitor, farmhouse countertops and tables were shiny and bright. Spotless, in fact. An illusion of cleanliness, I assure you. Look deeper and you would see it. I would see it. When I moved, I swore I would not let it take over my space again.]
Breakfast, with a reward of a cinnamon roll.
And then I drive back to the farmhouse.
(the new meadow)
We are slowly going over all that I left behind in each room. Do I really not want it? Do I want it maybe at some point? Or can we just trash it? Today, we focused on the bedroom. Oxycodone left in my nightstand from dental procedures that never quite required a zombie state afterwards. Free slippers from hotels, because I know that after you wear them, they toss them and some of them were quite pretty. And then things I just couldn't decide on. Like, the chef's coat from my work at L'Etoile. (I finally took a picture of it and trashed it.)
Mostly we just piled up the Goodwill stack and filled the recycle bin. If it didn't make the cut into my move, then why keep it at all? I tell you, I have made life so much easier for my daughters who, upon my death, will have so little to contend with!
One room was enough for me. Our other goal for today was to go for a bike ride. Our favorite loop, with a prairie walk thrown in for good measure. By Ed's favorite oak.
And it was lovely! Really grand.
And then I drove home, because I have a dinner to fix for the young family. At the Edge.
For this I have to pull out the table and put it right smack into the living area. There's no other way to do it. But it works!
I was curious how Sandpiper would find this new arrangement. Many of the toys he reaches for are in the closet. Kids his age dont take out hidden toys, they work with what's in plain eyesight.
(here they come! excited!)
(me too!)
He seems to have managed just fine.
(obviously I havent found a good angle for a photo yet!)
Evening: that quiet time that has been my period of peace and contentedness for so many years. I think Ed and I would like to take some of that back, to somehow replicate it even though the arrangement now is so not conducive to it. He talks about creating a space in the farmhouse for me to do my reading or writing. So familiar, from the days when I lived and worked in the city and he lived and worked at the sheep shed! But different now. We have a history. We've been through two decades together. I hope we are wiser now. I think we are.
with so much love...
