Henry, my big rescue dog, is both a teacher and a student. He may be a faster learner than I am. He rarely goes after his leash these days, he "hangs back" before entering the elevator, he follows my morning and evening routines with a predictability and meticulousness that is downright disarming.
Nearly three weeks into dog ownership and I am still hoping that Henry will push his awake and aware time closer to 7:15. Okay, I'll settle for 7. Not, like today's 6! I blame the time change of course. You'll tell me to push bedtime and going out at night time and I do! Yesterday I was out with him after 10 p.m. for his final bathroom break. And still, here we are, walking, way before sunrise.
(the remains of the Beaver Moon and a harvested corn field)
Of course, it's not really about Henry: I'm the problem here. There is nothing inherently ridiculous about getting up between 6 and 6:30. My two friends from yesterday's breakfast gathering are routinely up for an exercise class (online) at 6. Willingly. By their own choice. They have healthy habits so I am sure they get the requisite hours of sleep. The trick is to go to bed early. And as I am barely done with dinner clean up at 8 (yesterday it was even later), it becomes very hard to go to sleep soon after. You can't wash your last soup dish and then go straight to brushing your teeth. I need my couch time! With Henry preferably at peace and next to me.
Well, the morning walk is lovely, despite the early hour. Or maybe because of it?
(where are you dark eyes, my beautiful black-faced pooch, on this still dark morning?)
Breakfast. He sees me cutting up fruit and hears the sound of the coffee machine. Ah, she will be at the counter. Time to take my morning nap. I know she will join me imminently.
He is right. I will.
Ed and I agreed to meet up and talk some more today. He actually wanted to do this tomorrow and over dinner. He still does not understand that Henry wont allow us to go out to dinner, and having takeout at the Edge invites the participation of the pooch in some fashion. Besides, I'm not good at waiting several days for a "serious conversation." So it's today. After I drop off Henry at doggie day care, and pick up a few groceries while I am pooch-less.
(Oh no, a selfie?I hate these! If you hate them, we shouldn't do them. I don't mean hate really, but I do this just for you. Yes, I admit it, this one you do purely for me. And that's really sweet of you.)
To me, all this has been stressful and sometimes our discussions have left me feeling depleted and worse off than before they began. But today's felt different. Perhaps we hit rock bottom and now are finally seeing some light, to borrow from a cliché. Talking it through, allowed us to address what we both value and love and what we're ready to drop and move away from. Ed feels great afterwards and I'm okay too. Maybe we're ready to get going on the next chapter? Maybe.
In the afternoon, I pick up the kids.
(Sparrow is thrilled to have a birthday party invitation: it's an ice-skating party... hmmm... do we have time to put him on skates before that?)
(What's the best thing that happened today at school, Snowdrop? We got a stick out a tree by boosting Valeria up to reach it! Why is Middle School so academically boring for so many kids?)
And I return them home a tad earlier, without stopping to pick up Henry. I want to give myself a few minutes with the residents at the Edge: there's a cookies gathering and once again, I want to see who shows up. (Yesterday, when I went out with Henry in the evening, I locked myself out of the building. I realized there isn't a person here whom I could buzz to let me in. I should remedy that!) (Oh, you want to know how I made it back inside? Well, lucky break for me there: you can often spot another resident walking their dog around the building. I cornered one, introduced myself, and explained my predicament. He said -- yes, I know you. You live on my floor. Clearly I need to pay attention more to the people here!) And I'm successful! I now know two names and apartment numbers!
I head out to pick up Henry. How can you not feel all warm inside when you see your dog jumping for joy knowing that you're there for him.
And now it's evening. Just Henry and me. My lively but also snuggly pup that now, when stretching, can occupy the whole length of the couch. And pin me down for the evening with his big hearted affection.
with so much love...
