But it's not ordinary at all! Or rather, it's grand that at the end of the day I can sit back and say -- hey, my life is as good as it was at the start of the day and perhaps maybe just a tiny bit richer.
Before I fill this page with details that probably will make no great impression on you, let me alert you to something that should make an impression: it's a film I watched early in in the morning. It's a documentary short, but it runs close to 25 minutes, so don't click and expect something the length of a tweet. The film is in Polish, but with English subtitles. It is nominated for an Oscar (category: documentary short subject; you might be interested to know that TWO of the five films in this Oscar category are Polish -- the other, "Joanna," is about the beautiful blog of a young woman/wife/mother who is in her last months of life and it is also stunning and I think likely to trump in this category).
The film I'm posting here is unforgettable. It is so deeply moving and so well done (in my opinion), that I may have posted a link to it even if it wasn't Polish. It's called "Our Curse" and it's made by a young couple about their first months with their child -- a boy born with a significant breathing disorder. But honestly, even if you are not particularly fascinated with the topic, watch it for its greater theme. I wont tell you what that is. You'll want to draw your own conclusions.
And now to the threads of my day.
Breakfast. Let's start there. It is predictable, satisfying and gentle. Yay breakfast.
And let's include the cheepers. It's a bit warmer today -- in the twenties and so again they are tempted by the outside world. I'm there, with treats! Such a simple thing: it's cold, but partly sunny, they're wistful, I reach out with cornbread, they are satisfied.
The clouds come and go all day and yet it feels as if the sun is always with us.
Next, I book a spring flight to San Francisco. These days, the entire enterprise of finding good, inexpensive connections on the best possible days that are satisfactory to all concerned is no small task. It takes forever!
As does my continued search for a replacement car. The one in Green Bay was too good a deal. I put off going for it until Monday. Ed said that was a mistake. He was right. The car sold.
Two mammoth tasks follow: weekly grocery shopping and farmhouse cleaning. I should never do them back to back. They take too big a chunk out of the day and they leave me with the feeling you would get from watching too much TV: where did the hours disappear???
I've saved the best for last. Because my daughter is, today, celebrating an enormous professional accomplishment, I agree to stay with little Snowdrop all evening long until a very, very late hour. Normally I'm good for baby sitting until 10, at the latest. You know how it is, once you are retirement age -- you get sleepy earlier every year. But tonight is special for the young couple and I want them to indulge themselves in all forms of celebration and so I pump myself with many macchiatos and I welcome this darling little girl to the farmhouse. Ed is unsure if he had a tiny cold the last day or so and so we decided he should use this evening to stay away from the precious one and work on his projects in the sheep shed. And so it's just me and little Snowdrop. And Isie the cat, who disappears upstairs when Snowdrop utters her first baby sound.
(with lily the rabbit)
I'll post now. The evening's young, but we have a lot to explore!
(with dancing mousie)
Many congratulations to Snowdrop's mom for her accomplishment(s)!! You are so lucky to get to babysit. And Snowdrop and her parents are mighty lucky, too, to have such a great and willing sitter! Thanks for the movie link. I am saving it for a treat for tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteIt's a treat in that it's beautiful and in many ways affirming. But just a heads up: it's serious.
DeleteMy thoughts exactly, Barbara! And one more I'm sure you share... we're all lucky to have Nina's Snowdrop-sharing!
DeleteWell now, Barbara wrote my comment. Yes, big congratulations to S! A day to be especially proud and happy for your daughter, and an evening with snowdrop...what could be better. ox
ReplyDeleteNo, I can't think of anything. Ah: the arrival of younger daughter! And indeed, that happens today!
Delete'Hope, faith, love endure ...and the greatest of these is love'. So heartbreaking, the random unfairness of life - but perhaps love can transcend even this?
ReplyDeleteYes. I completely feel the same way. It struck me how significant the element of love is in that film. Between parents, parents and child, and, too, in the last scene -- between the larger family and the rest as they gathered to celebrate his birthday.
DeleteI'm very interested in what her enormous accomplishment is! but I know you don't write about family members' personal lives on Ocean. What a great time for her! the professional celebration, whatever it may be, and her finest and most enduring achievement of all, the arrival of little Snowdrop!
ReplyDeleteSo dear of Ed to isolate himself and any possible germs from the bebe. We are spending a long weekend in the home of our new little family, and all week I've been hearing every sneeze in the preschool room with horror. ;) Fortunately my immunity levels are sky high after 25 years of teaching. And my husband chooses to take the bus to and from downtown daily through all the neighborhoods, so he has a nice sampling of whatever viruses are offered ...never gets sick.
I'm curious, too. :)
DeleteIt's work stuff, but a significant step for my girl. Possibly the biggest one in her chosen career.
DeleteJoy -- have a wonderful weekend! Well, I know you will! :)
Joy! Seeing Ed smiling again! I was so touched to see the compassion he felt for the tiny kitty. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteBravo for daughter’s grand accomplishment.
Bravo for the brave Cheepers making a cameo appearance.
Gratitude for continued glimpses of Snowdrop's life.
*****
Nina: I watched the film. Excellent. I scribbled sloppy notes while reading the subtitles.
I think all people would find something important to identify with in this film. Though my breathing illness is different and I’ve also lived a full life, I deeply inhaled a connection that I felt and understood.
There was a reference to how happy the baby was in his unawareness. Oh how that resonated with me. For 2½ years I was unaware that I had 0% chance for a donor match for a lung transplant. Hindsight, the unawareness was divine. Hope came silly-easy. Positivity was a snap. Fear wasn’t a huge element. I was going to be given a chance to begin again. (All of these thoughts came from notes I took.)
Last week was especially difficult for me. I’m having trouble establishing a support person to move into the adjacent apartment – someone who can be with me when the time comes (and there’s no telling when that might be) when I’ll need to be given the meds to ease me toward death, peacefully. When the time comes, I might not be able to do that on my own. It wasn’t a good week as I tried to problem solve this crucial problem, which was fraught with fear.
So, I took as deep a breath as possible with renewed positivity. It will all work out as it should. It always does. I’m working on a solution. Being proactive.
I’m sorry I made that film about me… but isn’t that what films, books, blogs are supposed to do – invite connection and relevance? I think some people become annoyed when connections are expressed in comments. I don't think you're one of those people. :)
I have a *special needs* granddaughter. I’ve witnessed the courage and strength and perseverance of her parents. So many marriages collapse – some become stronger. That’s what I’ve observed in my family – a stronger team.
The couple in the film closely resembled what I've witnessed in my own family. The trauma, shock, fear... it was all so overwhelming at first. The unexpected hurdles - anger, frustration, doubts. The perfect little family with the white picket fence? Acceptance came swift - that undeniable, undefinable element called *love* rose to conquer so much. Challenges continue - will always continue. Death may even visit. But love and courage have taken permanent residency. And guess what? They are still that perfect family. xo
Irene B -- I thought about how various readers might react to the film. I have you, with your enormously serious lung issues and, too, with your daughter's child who poses challenges. I have a reader who lives far away and struggles with a disease that unfairly invaded her young life. I have grandmothers whose vulnerable newborns are just finding a place on this planet. And so on. And then I thought there are all those who really have no connection to the substance of the story (to my knowledge), but who may nonetheless identify with the hugely important theme of adversity, struggle, fear, death, hope and love -- all playing off of each other and ultimately giving us the small victories that we cherish even if some of us, unfairly, cannot have the big victories.
DeleteI watched the film twice.
I think you might also identify with the second documentary-short subject, "Joanna," directed by Aneta Kopacz, but I can't yet find a link to it yet. It's a young mother and she is near death and she blogs about the wonders of life to her young son. It's incredibly beautiful cinematography. And again, the theme will be very close (too close?) to your wonderful heart.
love.
A P.S. -- of course I am hoping your caretaker issues get resolved quickly. I have no advice to offer -- I'm sure you've thought of it all, just real concern for you and a hope that, as you say, once again, you'll find the best possible solution.
Deletexo
Thanks, Nina... for everything. xo
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