reality

With dogs, as with newborns, you may know, more or less, what you're getting yourself into, but, too, you absolutely have to be prepared for a world of new consequences that come with the arrival of this living creature. Unanticipated, unplanned for. Prepare for that which you don't know! And if you cannot adjust and make room for these, well then there surely will be lots of unhappy campers in your household. (I suppose if you have a ton of money you can flash your wallet at a problem and offload care onto someone else: an au pair for example, or a nanny for your kid, or a dog walker/sitter/handler for your pooch.)

Henry has, so far, proven to be mostly predictable, with small twists and turns along the way. (The pup crazies. The anxiety at being left. The need for a lot of attention.) But of course, he has been here only two weeks. We are young in our life together. Still, I feel that at my age, maybe I haven't seen it all, but I know what I may face. It's obvious, too, that I'll need to develop new skills to meet the Henry challenge. Sure, a dog can be less demanding than, say, a toddler. Give him a Kong toy with kibbles and peanut butter and maybe you can even tune him out for a while. Not for long though. Not my pup anyway. 

Toddler and dog. Young dog, young child: they both need help. They both need rewards. My daughter sent me a recipe of a dog's very favorite cookie treat. True, I rarely bake cookies for the grandkids because they are way too opinionated about what makes for a good cookie, but I sure do bake other stuff. Who knew that dogs like it when you cut out little cookie pumpkins for them, made with pumpkin!

 

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I was good about walking Henry before my bedtime yesterday, but still, I was sensitive to his morning wake-up time. Normally I'd let him fidget for a few minutes before I hauled myself up and outside with him. Not this morning. I want to cement his good habits and not give him a chance to make another mistake.

And so we are out early. It's not exactly dark, even as the street lights are still on.

It's quiet. Every sound puts Henry on alert.

(Happy Halloween!)

 

Back home: shower, breakfast, for him, for me.

 

 

As I eat my granola and watch Henry play, I do realize that he needs an occasional influx of strangers entering his lair (meaning my home). This socialization element is missing. Too, I hadn't quite understood the gravity of having not one but TWO dogs who panic when owners leave. (Goose has severe anxiety at being left alone, Henry has moderate anxiety, but who cares, it's still anxiety and for the near future, neither dog can be left alone.) Here are some interesting consequences: we cannot have Thanksgiving at the Edge. I can fit the people, but I cannot accommodate an addition of two dogs. That's okay, we'll do it at my daughter's house where the two dogs have ample space to romp. That problem at least wasn't hard to solve. And so it must be for Christmas too, I suppose. I cant see these guys being fully acclimated to being alone by then and of course, doggie daycare is closed on the holidays. We will reshuffle things, but I must admit, this I did not anticipate.

 

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It has been a remarkably beautiful fall. And even now, on the last day of October, it is pretty outside -- these are the ending days of fall colors and I deeply appreciate seeing them along with my stunning boy.

(taken on my second walk with him, after breakfast)

 

Hard to say if I wore him out yesterday, or if he is settling in,  but we do have a lovely and calm morning inside.

Playful, but not crazy puppy playful. Not this morning anyway!

 

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I heard from Ed that I neglected to plant one last dozen bag of tulip bulbs. Off I go to the farmette, with my gardening gloves and a pot of chili for Ed. Henry gets a half-day at day care. 

 

 

 

Ah, the farmette! I sit in the farmhouse for a while, resting (still fighting with that damn bug!). Ed brings me tea, granola bars. Then a table to put all that on. Lamp comes on. "I know you like light." Heat goes up. I take care of emails, he reads.

Honestly, I get that lump in throat feeling, because this isn't part of my everyday anymore. I sit back and watch him doze over his computer, on and off, on the couch, exactly as he has done just about every day that I lived here.

 

Ed and I will move things around again in the summer, but I'm not likely to park myself permanently at the farmhouse. I'll be closer, but this space is now his own. It was my doing and I still think it was the right move, but the reality is that I do miss our time together terribly. There just isn't enough of it, and sweet, sweet Henry hasn't helped: the cats aren't clamoring to meet him and I doubt that they will ever be best buds. Not his fault. Their anxiety is even higher than his, and it will never go away.

I plant the bulbs, pull some weeds, so that there will still be flowers here next summer, and I return to the Edge.

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My apartment complex continues the struggle to create community among residents. We were told that we could post a sheet on our door announcing that we had treats for trick-or-treaters. Or we could put out dishes of candy for the three evening hours. On my floor, I see only one sign and zero dishes of candy. I myself didn't buy any because I doubted that the few kids who live here would choose to trick or treat in the building. A few blocks to the west, they have the typical residential neighborhood where they can go house to house. I did not want to get stuck with leftover candy, of the kind kids like and I no longer eat (weird colorful stuff that sticks to your teeth and who knows what else; I did read that the most popular Halloween purchase is a sack of Reese's peanut butter cups and I do like those alright, caloric as they are, but I think that's just parental thinking at play: people tend to buy what they themselves will eat when the trick-or-treaters leave some behind).

The grandkids are all trick-or-treating of course. I smile at the image of the tired littlest ones going door to door on a cold evening. Why is it that they love this holiday so much?! 

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Henry had a good set of hours at doggie daycare. "He just needs to learn that the small dogs that are resting to the side should be left alone and not jumped over." A hard thing to teach, I suppose!

At home, it takes him a while to settle down. I dont know what triggered his pup nuttiness. Perhaps the evening called for it. Halloween does strange things to people and dogs.

I can't believe tomorrow October will be history!

with so much love...