love's challenge

It's hard not to fall back on platitudes and banalities when writing about love. On the other hand, it's hard today for me to not write about love at all. Love is at the forefront of all my thoughts as I try to figure out best courses of action for the weeks ahead. Love is the culprit here. Without it, I would shrug and let the days unfold. But I cannot do that. I have to stick with a plan to maximize our chances for a good outcome. 

Two beings frame the day for me: Ed and Henry. Yes, that's right, the men in my life.

Ed has developed an asthmatic reaction to being in Sally's House. He believes that the new house is "burping" and the settling gases are aggravating his bronchial tubes. In the middle of the night, he was enough short on breath that he went home.

I know what you're thinking -- he may be allergic to the dogs. We are almost certain that they are not the culprit. He spent plenty of time at the Edge with Henry virtually sitting on top of him and he felt nothing, nothing at all. Of course, I myself do not care for self-diagnosing and yes, this could be an event that requires medical intervention, but he is so convinced that he is right ("I walked home and was fine immediately") that I just have to accept it as a hard truth.

Until we can keep the windows open, his visits can be frequent, but necessarily shorter. That could be classified as love's challenge, don't you think? I moved here for Henry and to be close to Ed. Henry's anxieties have lessened, though they're not nearly cured. Ed -- well arguably this is better, despite this setback. We see each other a lot, but most definitely the flare up is costing us some. Still, you could say it's good that he lives almost within my field of vision. Hop on.a bike and you're there. 

 

About Henry now: I have myself a calm and easy dog -- that would be Sadey -- and a passionately neurotic pup -- Henry.  

Henry spent the night downstairs rather than in his usual doggie bed. That could be because he really loves the new Ikea couch. Or because Ed dozed off on the older couch and Henry has a total crush on Ed. Or he stayed to keep tabs on Sadey in the fenced off playroom. When Ed left in the middle of the night, Henry remained on the couch downstairs, coming in to wake me at sunrise -- just before 7. Here, you can see it from the upstairs bedroom.

Obviously both dogs need to go out ASAP. Would one at a time work? I didn't see myself taking Sadey and leaving Henry with heightened feeling of jealousy. And she is the newbie, so I need to walk her often until she sniffs out the area. So, I clip on two leashes. It may be the last time that I go out with them on two separate leashes.

(from hot steamy Texas to snow!)

(Ha! They both like to bark at other people walking dogs!)

 

The number of times they got tangled up in their leads, around me, around themselves is... a bit unnerving. They are both strong, enthusiastic dogs and neither Sadey nor Henry is shy about pulling toward a scent. One trip around the block and I take them in.

The greatest challenge is to get Henry to accept her inside his house. It wont happen overnight. For now, he's fine with her being in her room. He believes the rest of the house is his. The canine introduction protocols are such that you can might have to keep this going for several weeks.

Overall, I would say that at this point we have just a modest amount of territorial jealousy. There was a lot of positive energy in their exchanges. But Henry issued a warning, especially when she reached for his toys,  and that was enough for me to put up the gate. And there it shall stay for a while. If you just let go of these baby steps and let the dogs loose in the house, there may be a fight and it will then take far longer to restore calm. So, my assignment is to not rush things. To go slow for the love to grow.

 

Breakfast.

The grandkids once again want to spend time with the dogs. We had tentatively arranged a walk for today -- two dogs off leash, Sadey on leash, in the local dog park -- but my daughter seems to have picked up their bug now. Still, Snowdrop's persuasive powers are as strong as they come. The dad caves and brings the kids over to the park. Ed takes Sadey in the car  (she needs to be apart from Henry, just in case). I take Henry, and we meet up with the three kids and Goose at our local dog park.

 

I'd say that of the three kids, only one really wants to be there. The terrain is awfully muddy (not to Sparrow's liking), the dogs are fast and they splash and sometimes knock you over (which is exactly what happened when a St. Bernard jumped on Sandpiper in the most "friendly" greeting). Then too, there's the dilemma of what to do with Sadey. It's a gorgeous day -- we're having record warm weather with plenty of sunshine (hence the mud). Obviously this is the day to exercise your dog (if you dont mind the mud afterwards). But the adoption instructions warn you about overstimulating your adoptee on what is effectively her first day. Besides, how much does she knows us? How much does she trust Henry? Will I be able to call her back? For all these reasons, I start off with keeping her on the leash. 

 

 

 

But it's an impossible assignment. She wants to be with the running dogs! She pulls hard. I can't torture her like this --  as if dangling ice cream, but ultimately delivering water.  So I take a deep breath and, recognizing the risk, I release her.

 

 

 

I call her back once just to see if she will listen. She does. I relax. To soon. Sadey runs off far far ahead. So do Gosse and Henry, but of course, they know to return.

 

 

 

I ask Ed -- do you think we'll get her back? Eventually! -- he answers. The park is of course enclosed. She seems to recognize us as her caregivers. What can go wrong??

What can go wrong is that she is capable of running so far ahead that we can't really see her. In the meantime, the boys are slogging through the mud letting me know that life is not good at all. Snowdrop, who is unfazed by any of it, runs ahead and eventually leashes my dog. Sadey stays for the remaining walk on leash, but at least I do know now that she is that much closer to learning what's at stake. Prairie Morraine is too big a park for now, but our local doggie place is perfect. If muddy.

So muddy is it that both dogs are covered with dirt. Caked up bellies, paws that look like they walked through a swamp. What to do! 

I pull up into the garage and fill a bucket with soapy water and attack one dog at a time. They come out almost squeaky clean!  Almost. And then, back she goes into her little room. Sadey would like to come out. But I don't think they're ready for an unrestricted run of the house. For now, she is safer in her space, with Henry resting by the gate.

In the late afternoon I take the two out for a walk. I remember how little I knew about Henry when I first walked him. It took a while to make it an easy adventure. Well, I'm learning that I actually know very little about walking these two dogs together. I purchased a leash with two separate leads coming out of one long leash. 

This is a disaster. Sure, they did not tangle around themselves. They did tangle around me. I went down once to learn that! 

More importantly, whereas Henry was pretty easy to walk by now, Sadey and Henry together are a whole other ballpark. They feed off of each other and pull harder than you would think possible. Add to it Henry's barking at strangers and you have yourself a walk from hell.

I realized right away that there will have to be separate walks. And when I join them at some point, it will be on two leashes, both dogs to one side, Henry as the taller guy near me, Sadey on the outer side. And if they pull, I stop and go no further. That is my current plan. Will I modify it? Oh for sure! We are just figuring it out. It will take time! 

 

Evening. My first day with two dogs is behind me. Apple music has a playlist called calming music for dogs. Just a touch boring, but maybe effective! After a while I'll switch to "Ina Garten's favorite love songs" -- my Valentine's Day treat. Are Ed and I celebrating? Well, I could twist his arm to do something, but these days I dont do much arm twisting at all so perhaps we'll make do with a phone call! We had our sweet embrace earlier in the day.

I survived my two pooches! 

 

 

 

 

 

And I hope made things better for both of them! And for our family. Eventually all this will be peanuts. For now, there is a challenge to loving someone. (I'm lookin' at you Henry, Ed!)  Don't I know it! 

with so much love...