Cars

This afternoon I entered another universe. A galactic space of metal and metallic lacquer: moro blue, brilliant black, ocean blue (no, dear Ocean, this is not your world, keep quiet, lay low, I’ll get to you and a post soon enough). I am in Audi-land and Ann is buying a car.

…and you can have satellite radio, broadcasting clear signals of your favorite station anywhere in the country.
What if I am driving through the desert, will it broadcast in the desert?
Yes, of course, anywhere. It works especially well in the desert.

This car has the built-in system with one of the two brands of satellite radio..
But that brand doesn’t pick up NPR! What if I want NPR in the desert?
(Ann, don’t, please don’t pick a car based on the one hour you may conceivably spend in the desert without NPR.)

…excuse me while I cough again. I’m in the latter stage of a terrible cold.
(I back away)
…I got it from a friend, so yes, it was contagious, but my symptoms are different.
(he describes them. It seems ill-suited in this commercial upper stratum to be talking of your lung deterioration)(coughs again)
(I have to say this:) May I give you some free advice? Get a glass of water.

…I used to drive the Van Galder bus you know. It’s all about distance. And my wife, she had an accident and though she was found at fault, she was not.
(describes what happened, wife’s injuries and current state of her driving)

I’m feeling post-traumatic stress right now… Maybe I should not buy a car.
Ever? Ann, you need a car.

…unfortunately there are no cars with your desired specifications… Color is definitely an issue.
It’s not an issue for me! I’m feeling exhausted. But I need a car. Oh, but I have a pink house! But I’ll take any of the colors (she states one exception: for some reason she does not like the blackish green --If you’re going to make a green car, make it so it looks green!), I'll even take the whacky orange or bright yellow. Ocean blue would be my first choice. (She’s an Ocean fan, I can tell.)

Nina, I am worn out. This is taking forever.
(it does seem like forever, but we are in this astroland of Audis only 3.5 hours; But still, no car…)

Finally, a different, earnest young man finishes the deal.
Will my son hate me for the fact that you can’t sit up straight in the back seat? Will he think I don’t care about him?
Ann, this is about you: you will drive this car 99.9% of its waking hours. Your son will understand. He will be happy for you. We are happy for you. Be happy, you just bought a car!
[Sort of. As soon as they find one that they can get off the boat and roll out to Madison so that it is here by Friday. That's the goal.]