It had been my dream to have at least one large dog by my side in this next decade of my life. Two may be a challenge, but I felt up to even that. It looks like I may have to let go of that plan. I am on my second large rescue and for the second time, I'm dealing with behavioral stumbling blocks that are more than I can handle. It's true that with the first pup, the problems exploded and became insurmountable, while in the case of Sadey, I truly think they are surmountable, even though I am not the person who can easily surmount them.
Sadey is in fact a wonderful dog. She came to me at a time when I was starting to lose Henry. They got along beautifully at the end, but he was too far gone to save. She, on the other hand was not. Is not.
It may appear that I never bonded with Sadey in the way I did with Henry. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love this girl fiercely. She is the most huggable dog I've ever met. She begs for my attention, but in a non menacing way. If I'm busy, she'll wait for it. A model child!
They weren't wrong over in Texas when they described her as "pure sweetness.". She is a total love bug. And her stranger anxiety isn't like Henry's. She doesn't attack. Or at least not in the way Henry did.
Why do I think she needs a different kind of home than what I can offer her? Because I am afraid of her going the way of Henry. This may be in my head, but it's there -- that fear that she will get more protective. (She is quite the guard dog.) That I should keep her away from strangers. There are all these what-ifs that are pounding away at me. What if she barks at every person who comes here? What if the dog park experience (where she did bark persistently at a chosen few) grows beyond the fences of the park? I love that girl so much -- I could not go through another rerun of the Henry story.
Sadey has a great chance and I have found a good option for her. Without Nervous Nellie (me!) holding her back, she'll likely thrive. But oh, I will miss that great big hulk of dog next to me on the couch!
So, no big dogs coming my way. Because honestly, I am at this point not capable of taking in another large rescue -- not one that could well develop protective responses that are so hard for me to work through. So, unfortunately, I'll have to scale down my expectations. No great big rescue mutt. And certainly not two great big rescue mutts. More like a predictable small sweet pup. For my great big dog cravings, I'll have to go over to Goose's home and snuggle with that hunk of a dog who actually likes most anyone who comes up to him for a hug.
We have another one of those weird warm days. I'm not protesting! At least not yet. Ask me again after the storms pass through!
Breakfast.
Play, rest, go to doggie day care. One more day of playtime for Sadey at Happy Dogz. I buy groceries, I go to Ed's...
(snowdrops!)
... and I come home. Sadey is leaving tomorrow, but I dont want to pack up her belongings when she is here. I want to get them in the car now, without her questioning gaze. Oh, that Sadey gaze! How can I not cry at losing this girl with the loving eyes? A dog with a thousand kisses?
p
I pick up the kids, one, the other, we come to Sally's house...
... and toward evening we drive over to get Miss Awesomeness.
More tears, sure, but it's not as if she's heading to a bad outcome. It's us who have the bad outcome. I will miss that girl with all my heart.
with so much love...
