big day

Can a dog be mad at you for "ruining his life?" Consider this: I take Henry out for a walk. Yesterday, today, same thing. Upon our return, he sits down on the sidewalk and refuses to come into the house. Each time, it takes a few minutes to get him to give in, get up and saunter up the steps. Or this: in the morning, with the peaceful Goldberg Variations playing in the background, my dog wakes up from a morning nap and walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch. I pat the cushion inviting him to join me. My big lapdog, right? Henry stands there looking at me, then, as if shrugging, turns away and walks back to the hallway, where he takes up his post by Sadey's fence. When I go up to him to give him a rub and cuddle, he looks at me with eyes that seem to ask -- so what other big changes would like to throw at me today?

Well now, Henry, funny you should ask...

I wake up to no Henry in my room. He's downstairs again, sleeping not far from Sadey. And once more I have to wonder: is it to keep an eye on her, or because they're slowly bonding? There has been no growling or barking at each other ever since that unfortunate encounter over a toy this past weekend. Should I be hopeful? If you must know, I'm very apprehensive. If this day doesn't go well, then I have little hope for a good outcome. 

I take Henry out...

I take Sadey out...

Each time they are with each other in the hallway, they sniff noses, sometimes she gives him a quick lick. That's all good of course, but it's still a far cry from happy dogs, at peace and  eager to play with each other.

Breakfast...

And then they both nap. But by 9 a.m. Henry starts getting restless. This is a dog that needs action pretty early in the day. As does she, except she cant express that well, because she is behind the gate. This is the day I've decided to put them together at doggie daycare.

 

Honestly, I am quite anxious about the car ride -- all 20 minutes of it, some on the highway, on a windy and wet day. They have never been in the car together. What if Henry feels protective about that space? What if they start a fight in the car? I take a spray bottle with water -- it's my only defense.

I have the idea that maybe Henry should ride shotgun. Sadey can take the backseat. There are better dog seat belts for the front, but I didn't think to get one. I fasten the extra tether from the backseat as best as I can and hope for the best. 

I've been parking the car outside, by the front door. But the weather is going to be iffy today, so I parked in the garage. Neither dog is used to this entrance/exit. There are steeper steps, it feels strange. I leash them both and encourage them to the door. Henry sits down in his stubborn stance and refuses to move. Okay, little pup. I'll take Sadey first. She bounces happily toward the car. I fasten her in the backseat. (I have to admit, the seat tether, though good, does not prevent the dog from pushing toward the front via the elbow rest. But there are limits to how far they can go. I'm confident that I can push her back should she try this.) 

Of course, Henry does eventually follow. Reluctantly to be sure, but he does come down and when I open the front door, he hops in, almost happily, as if saying -- I've always wanted to ride up here!

Sadey comes up a little, they sniff, neither dog seems at all agitated or nervous about the others presence. Could it be that the ride will be just fine? Or, will she try to come up again and will he feel threatened? Did I tell you this whole morning is making me exceptionally anxious?

The ride is just fine! Henry enjoys the frontal view, Sadey seems okay back there, with occasional nose pokes to the front. What a relief! 

 

We come to the doggie daycare. Henry bounds in enthusiastically. Sadey walks in tentatively. He is taken away to the playroom. Aimee, the director, asks me to keep Sadey back in the office for a while. They're having an issue with one of the small dogs. She wants to solve it first and talk to me about the day. 

She tells me this -- every once in a while we have days like this: the dogs are all a little off. They're not fighting, but they're on edge. Full of negative energy. Maybe it's the weather! You can never tell. You have to decide if you want to introduce Sadey to dog play today or maybe wait for a better day? I dont really have an opinion on this -- it's your call.

There's no way I want to go through this kind of a morning again. And I want to know how to proceed this weekend. Confining Sadey for two whole days to her little room behind a gate is just not good for her. She hates it and Henry is getting the mistaken impression that she belongs there, not in the house. That if she escapes, she should be caught and returned. God forbid she should make her way to all those couches! She doesn't like this, I don't like it either.  Let's try her in the playroom anyway -- I tell them.

 

When I drive off, the relief is tremendous. Sort of like dropping off your young kids at school on the first day after a long summer vacation at home. It's the first time in weeks that I haven't had packing, moving, unpacking, dog integration on my mind. All anxiety melts away.

You could say to me -- well that was predictable! I knew you were taking on too much! Ridiculous days, all of your own doing. You would be correct of course. But I'll say this much -- even though the integration of these two dogs proved to be a much bigger project (in part my fault --  I rushed things), I still have the hope that this will work itself out and the gain will be far greater than this initial pain. Henry needs more than I can give him on a daily basis. The move to a house was a great idea -- his people anxiety is definitely on the retreat. I still do believe that the companionship of another dog is also a good idea. We will soon find out!

At home, I unpack the last of the boxes of kid books. There wasn't a way to do it before. They're in Sadey's room and I can't give my attention to her and the project of sorting through this last batch of stuff. 

Done! And now I finally sit down, give one big exhale, and call Happy Dogz -- the doggie daycare -- to find out how things are going. 

It's been a couple of hours, but they tell me they haven't introduced her into the great room, keeping her in the time-out zone. Why? Because she is reluctant to give it a try. Now that was unexpected! I saw her as being super into dogs. But perhaps not so many dogs at once? It struck me that she has never been in a situation where she could play with several dozen friendly dogs, all together. Henry took to this without issue. Sadey is holding back.

 

In the early afternoon, a staff member calls from Happy Dogz. Sadey is doing great! At first she played only with Henry and now she is branching out. She's having a wonderful time!

I feel almost as relieved as I did when my daughter's pediatrician got up in the middle of the night and rushed to the clinic to check up on my coughing child. He said then -- she's fine! I felt a swell of gratitude and relief. As I did today. I loved my pediatrician! I love the staff at Happy Dogz!

 

In the afternoon I pick up Snowdrop. Yes, there's a dusting of snow on the ground. Not much. Just a thin shake of powdered sugar.

She has been wanting to visit the farmhouse and I take her straight there. 

 

It's not a great day for it -- it's cold, it's gray, the place looks uninviting. So different from the last time she was here in early September!  

We stay there for a bit and read. She punches Ed and he punches her back. She has said more than once that she misses this. 

 

 

She laughs at his messes admitting that it sure looks different now. But she wants to come back. She is that attached to her memories here. And we will come back. Whenever she feels the need to pop in for a visit. 

 

Once I drop her off at home, I go to pick up the two dogs. The staff person tells me they played well, but she cautioned me to be careful still. Avoid tight quarters. Watch out for resource guarding. Oh, dont I know it! 

I debated what was best for them now, back at home, and decided I'd leave the gate up but keep the door open for the evening. She can go in, but she can go out too. And of course, I hide the toys. I know they'll be tired tonight. Let's keep things low key. And just in case, I leave Sadey's leash on, in case I have to pull her away.

I watch them oh so closely. And there are no growls, groans, snarls, yips -- none of it. I can tell that Henry is the cautious one. Sadey is bolder. She'll grab the couch, sit at my feet when I eat, horn in on a petting session. Still, Henry is calm. He's not a smiling guy -- his has always been a serious face. Perhaps she'll be a good match for my more timid boy. This day may well be a turning point. But we're not home free yet. And I have to think through how the weekend will play out. 

One day at a time. One big day at a time.

 

 

with so much love...