Caramels, from Vienna, with sea salt sprinkled on them. Mmmmm. Oops, there goes that tooth.
Extraction needed. I read Ann's blog post on this. Wow, that sounds like a nightmare! Better have a general anesthetic. Say what? I can’t drive after? I can’t party? I gotta take it easy? Forget it. Tough Polish peasant stock. Make friends with the surgeon by filling out initial form with BIG BLOCK LETTERS STATING PROFESSION: LAW PROF.
It gets his attention. So what do you teach? Do I say Family Law? Do I say Torts? No. Let there be no misunderstanding here: oh, personal injury, among other things. You know, medical malpractice.
Oh, and I want that laughing gas thing.
Man do I get a dose of the laughing gas. It’s like being totally drunk. My head buzzes in the nicest way, without the hangover. I think of all the wonderful people in my life. They seem more wonderful than ever before. I love ‘em all. I’m in love with them. I am making love with them. One at a time. What the hell, oral surgeon too, even though we just met. Pink cosmos are standing on the little dental table. God, I love having teeth pulled.
3 hours ago
you're a sick, sick woman, you are. But it's all good, we love you anyway!
ReplyDeleteNina, this was hilarious. I hope your recovery is as easy as the extraction itself was!
ReplyDeleteAnon: I disregarded my own rule (I require at least some attempt at a name from all Anon commenters) because I totally like seeing myself described as a sick but lovable woman. What the heck -- I make the rules, I can break 'em.
ReplyDeleteJoan: No pain at all, just a pleasant afterglow. You know, like after the real thing.
I wish I had as pleasant thoughts as you when I last had laughing gas. Instead, I punched my dentist in the head. He wasn't very nice, so I guess subconciously I knew it was my moment to let him know how I felt. Happy recovery, Nina!
ReplyDeleteWhere can I get some of that laughing gas?
ReplyDeleteSara: the period of recovery lasted less than a minute. I put my dancing shoes on and had a very lively evening celebrating someone's something or other. With my own private afterglow, I swear.
ReplyDeleteTonya: I have some of those caramels from Vienna still. Want me to bring them over?