Monday

Three things stand out for me this morning: first -- how quickly routines can replace excitement, second -- how pretty even a light snowfall can be when there is no wind to shake everything off tree branches...






... and finally -- how much paperwork remains to be done to get my mom properly transferred to another facility.

You can grouse about all that bureaucratic nonsense, but honestly, it's perfectly understandable why it needs to be done. I filled out pages upon pages of an application for my mom, but these are just my words. Everything I put into the forms now needs to be proven with supporting documents. Of course it does. I'm not surprised nor annoyed. Merely a tad overwhelmed by the enormity of the project.

Breakfast -- the more colorful parts of it...






Afterwards, Ed jumps right into my task of gathering the needed receipts and statements. We spend the entire morning on this (and in the process, we unravel several puzzles in my mother's recent accounting; these need to be cleared up and... well, undone). By lunchtime, we're not even half finished. Tomorrow I'll have to chase down stuff on foot. But today, as the afternoon sets in, I need to quit.

Can we go skiing?
Do you think the recent snow has added a thick enough layer?
I do!

It's our first run this winter and oh, does it feel good to take a break from the paper mess!












Ed first learned to ski when he met me. He's now solid on trails, but he can be wobbly on the hills and with icy conditions, I worry that he will someday end up in the lake or glued to a tree...






Still, today he manages to stay upright and we have a splendid hour on an empty, quiet, calm, snowy trail, well groomed just minutes before we show up.






I am back to a routine with the kids. I pick them up at school, I bring them to the farmhouse. I was thinking today that kids do best with a lot of routine in their lives and, depending on the personality, a small chunk of excitement and adventure. So a return to a regular schedule is good, even if the transition can be rocky.

Not so rocky for these two. When I pick them up, they are happy little guys, despite the multiple excitements this past weekend.

(Snowdrop and her friend of many years show me their friendship necklaces)






Surely as we get older, our need for predictable routines grows. My mom's tolerance for adventure is near zero. Me, I'm still thrilled to have days of excitement. So long as the routines come back, the pace slackens again and the calm returns. Until the next adventure!






At the farmhouse, the  grandkids are rarely demanding. We read a lot...






There is always imaginative play...










And oftentimes they get lost in art projects. They never "fight," and their default facial expression is a smile.

Nonetheless, by the end of this particular day, I'm tired, or at least ready for some downtime. Popcorn time. But it's not to be. Ed and I resume pulling documents, creating files, uploading them to the website that demands them on behalf of my mother.

Only much much later, after a supper of reheated leftovers, after many attempts to get one or another document upload correctly, do we put it all away for the day and exhale.

There may be more snow tonight. Quiet snow, A thin blanket of calm.

Sunday celebrations

I've just run a marathon. It feels like that anyway. A marathon of very special events: holidays, birthdays, baptisms: within a period of two weeks, we had them all!

You want things to go well for your kids -- of course you do. When important celebrations approach, you just hope so much no one gets sick and that travel plans do not get disrupted by weather. That the little ones hang in there and put on their best smiles, not out of duty but out of sheer joy. That the food is fresh and honest throughout and that you have the energy to be of help. That at the end of it all, everyone walks away with a big, happy sigh of contentment.

We nearly faltered a couple of times. The weather threatened. The flu is making the rounds in Wisconsin. My mom had a rocky month.

Still, in the end, it all came together beautifully. Celebrations, one after the next. Always with family, with Ed. Little ones to catch and hug, big daughters to adore and admire, with Ed on the couch at the end of the day, asking me -- do you want some popcorn?


Okay, but how did this day turn out? Where were we on this Sunday with all our celebrations?

Well, I wake up to gray skies and very cold temperatures. The cheepers are most unhappy with the icy pathways. I let them out of the coop, they walk daintily from barn to garage. At the end of the day, they will reverse course: from garage back to the barn.






I fix a quick breakfast for the young Chicago family. We'll be in a hurry, so it's just fruit and bread product and coffee.






The two girls never say no to my fruit dishes.






Hey, Primrose and I are both wearing dresses with polka dots!






This is the day of Sparrow's baptism at Grace Episcopal Church in Madison. We hurry to get there in good time for the service.











The little guy is at an age where he is not going to go along willingly with all that is thrust upon him. Let's just say that there were moments of protest along the way during the ceremony. Nonetheless, all's well that ends well! Sealed with a kiss.






With the godparents.






With his aunt and cousin. Do you get the sense that Snowdrop and Sparrow are all photo-ed out? That if one more person asks them to smile for the camera, they might actually throw a minor rebellion?






My older girl holds a party for all her friends and family at her house. You can tell it's big when she goes the catering route. Delicious, warm foods, lots of Prosecco for the thirsty. With a toast, in honor of the little guy, who is hanging in there, considering he is way overdue for a nap.






(There are many people whom I know from my days at the Law School, and it's good to catch up a little with them, but ultimately, I am drawn to the ones I know and love so much! Like these three.)






(Let me reintroduce you to Sparrow's other aunt and uncle. You don't see them often here, because they cross paths with Sparrow's family mostly in Chicago.)






But hey, ultimately, the day belongs to this guy! Here he is, much relieved that he could finally take his shoes off. Turns out his feet grew so much that the parents could hardly shove the shoes on today. Oh well, I'm sure he could have been baptized in his snow boots. It would have been very "Wisconsin."





Oh man, do I love my kids and their families! I know, I know -- we all love our families. Still, at these milestone moments, my heart just swells with emotion!

Tomorrow, we return to our winter routines. Tonight? As I sort through photos, I turn to Ed -- I'm ready for some popcorn.

Saturday celebrations

On the downside, we wake up to some snow, not a lot, but a good layer, covering up an equally good layer of ice. That first burst of wintry mix was icy slick and except for heavily salted highways, all surfaces are, well, icy and slick!






On the upside -- oh, everything else! It's a full and beautiful day!

I clean the house thoroughly, even though we've moved tonight's pizza gathering to a more urban location (my daughter's house). Still, there'll be at least a few people coming through this way tomorrow. I also pick up chocolate cream pies at the bakery. And baked goods for breakfasts.






And now it's time to scoot over to the dance studio for Snowdrop's friend birthday party. I should say -- friend plus family, because many people have driven up from Chicago to be here -- aunts, uncles, a cousin, more grandparents. And of course, there are those who came in from the coastal states. It's a crowded place! Let's focus on the dancers. Or at least the birthday dancer, who chose Cinderella as the story to which they would all dance.

(I'm impressed with the fact that her dad sewed for her the leotard that she is wearing...)






(Sparrow, wishing he could join in...)











(the dress up and acting out part)











Cousin arrives from Chicago! ... and immediately heads for the art table...






Time to eat.






five...






friends...






The little guys go for a little romp. Sparrow really, really likes his cousin!






The party ends. We head out.






At home, Snowdrop's home, the day winds down. Just a few more papers to tear off...






Pizza: fresh and local.
















Yep -- Sparrow really likes his cousin.






How to end this photo run... this day... How about with a photo of my daughters. It all began with them, and then another generation got added...






Good night dearest children of mine!

uncertainty

We're all juggling a lot of unknowns right now. The month's full of them. This weekend is full of them. Can't predict where this is all heading. Must wait.

You've heard about one uncertainty, of course. My mother's move. That'll likely remain up in the air all month long. Or not. I can't tell. No one can tell.

In the immediate future, we have uncertainty generated by the double winter storm that is to hit Wisconsin pretty darn soon (within hours). It also happens to be the weekend when Snowdrop is to have her kid and extended family birthday party (Saturday) and when Sparrow is to have his Baptism, followed by a rather large friend and family party in his honor (Sunday). People are flying in from the west coast and from the east coast. Others are driving up from Chicago. Will they be lucky and avoid the weather craziness? There is a window of calm today and then on Saturday morning. Will it accommodate all the travelers? Will flights be cancelled? Will the birthday party have to be postponed?

I have no answers. The weather people are telling us that this is more like a March storm than a January event. My head spins with that! The temperatures and wind chills look pretty punchy to me! What's so "March" about this double trouble?

Of course, Ed and I do like winter snow. Nonetheless, the timing of this storm is, for our family, unfortunate. Though I remind myself that this is what family legends are made of! My younger daughter was born on the coldest day of the century, remember?? And Snowdrop  too came in on the coat tails of Arctic madness. January births and celebrations are never boring!

Breakfast, just before I run off to do weekly grocery shopping.






The grocery store is crowded. People must be stocking up. I'm supposed to host an informal supper for family and closest friends this Saturday (as in pizza), but the weather is likely to mess with our plans. I can't have more than a dozen people drive out on country roads in a snowstorm. I put things in the cart with some uncertainty. Perhaps we'll shift venues. We're all tracking the storms carefully.

($5 roses; amazing...)






This afternoon, I'm at the farmhouse with just Snowdrop.


 



It's been a while since she has been here alone and she is full of plans for her time here.





Books come first. It's our routine. Today she has me reading for 90 minutes straight. I stop because my voice is giving out.

She then sets up a game for us -- one we haven't played in ages. But I have to put an end to it very early on. It's getting dark and it's sleeting outside. I want to get her home safely before all hell breaks loose.



Night time. It's quiet outside. There is a full moon behind all those layers of cloud. Wolf Moon. And the menacing winds pick up and as the night progresses, and the ice and sleet turn to snow.

numbers

If you are female and manage to not die by the time you get to be my mom's age (96), you are predicted (by our government) to live another 3.16 years. Me, at 66, I have another 19.69, so though I am thirty years younger than her, I'm likely to die about twenty years from now, while she's likely to totter along to a ripe old 99.16.

Oh, numbers! I tell Ed -- if I want to make pizza for 14 people, I'll need to bake at least six large pizzas. Wrong! -- he proclaims. Just five!
That's chintzy!
No it isn't! There's a website that tells you how many square inches of pizza per person to make. For a 16 inch pizza, you only need five!
My pizzas are more like 15 inches.
Five.
Six! 

It is a day for calculating things.

Bleak, gray, warm, with storms hovering to the north of us and more storms barrelling right through Madison this weekend. It makes for an interesting set of days.

(Breakfast)






I drive to my mom's place... (steely gray day)

 



... and attack her kitchen today. I empty out just one of her kitchen cupboards plus her freezer. No comment on her frozen foods. We have different tastes. Understandable. But the kitchen cupboard is, I think, indicative of her demographic: dozens and dozens of empty plastic containers. The kind in which you would buy humus or prepared foods. All washed and neatly stacked, though most with mismatched lids. Out they go. My favorite words these days: give it away or throw it away!

It's a beginning of a slow process of moving out.

(I have no news on where she goes next. Her current Rehab Facility called today: have you heard anything?- they ask. Um, no. And I don't expect to. Not for several weeks. The facility wants her room. I'm happy to hand it over, just show me where you intend to place her.)
 

(Snack, before heading out to pick up the kids. A question to mull over: if you bake an Italian panettone  bread in November with no added preservatives, seal it up and ship it to Madison Wisconsin, and a delighted person opens it up on Christmas Day, how long will it stay fresh? The answer -- at least until January 9th. Mmm, so good with an afternoon cup of milky coffee!)

 The kids are bouncy, happy, playful. Sparrow is 19 months old today. Snowdrop is five years and four days. These are such sweet ages!











(Snowdrop has a bunch of questions for Ed. He often answers with an experiment. Here, his answer was: because wood is lighter than water. It's all in the numbers. The experiment:  Do you have a book? Let's see if it will float!)






Evening. After supper, I look over the NY Times' 52 places you should visit in 2020. You could twist my arm to go to nearly any of them with Ed. But right now he's unbudgable.
Okay, this is off the list, but would you go north of the Arctic Circle? In Finland, we could stay in a cabin with three walls made of glass. 
All the way in Finland? 
I go back to reading about travel to places I am not ever likely to visit.