The art of buying wine

I was at Steve’s Liquor today, having the following (oft repeated) conversation:

me: “so, I’m serving a roasted tenderloin today, and I want something different, exciting to go with it.. But let’s keep it French and not too pricey; maybe a red Burgundy or a Gigondas?”

Randy: “yeah, sure, whatever you want.. here, let me show you this fantastic Chilean wine I just brought back from my trip there—it’ll knock your socks off!”

me: “I don’t want my socks knocked off…but seeing as I am such a loyal customer, perhaps, knocking off a few dollars off of a Burgundy would be nice?”

Randy, clearly hurt: “didn’t you like the California Vintage Renard Santa Rita I recommended last time? Wasn’t that special?”

me: “so special that I am saving it, along with the Jaffurs Syrah that you rang up for me that was twice as much as I had wanted to spend.”

Randy, feigning indifference: “I had a guy come in and buy a case of that for the week-end.. I mean, you can’t take your wallet with you to your grave, you know.”

me: “no, but I can take it to the grocery store and buy food that’ll last a whole week with left over cash for over-priced lattes. Okay, so what do you suggest? Should we look at a Cotes du Rhone? I can usually find a decent one for around $15 - $20..”

Randy: “I’ve got just the thing: a 1999 Morey St Denis Bourgogne for $29” [before tax, n.b.]

me: “You sold that to me three weeks ago when I was looking for a cheap bottle of French table wine. I’ll take the White Oak Cabernet that I had wanted the time I walked off instead, under your guidance, with the Chateauneuf du Pape from La Nerthe.”

Randy: wounded silence

So it’s not from France, and is the wrong price. At least it’s red. One out of three right.