tomorrow

My old law school buddies (fn: they are not old; their buddyhood status is old) are reuniting in Florida. It was such a good idea! A week-end in March when the weather just drags you down. Florida.

I had forgotten about this conference, here in Madison.

So, pals, I hope you’re enjoying the beaches, the palm trees and citrus groves, the tropical drinks in outdoor spaces. At this very minute, my (Lake Mendota) view out the (conference) window is this:





Never fear, though. The week-end has another day in it – Sunday. Tomorrow, then, Florida!

life

I am, all day today and tomorrow, at a conference. I know… some way of starting spring break! But, there is an intellectual nostalgia in this exercise and so I am not likely to complain.

On my way to the meetings, I passed three weavers and shakers. I remember having once made snakes out of colorful woven plastic ribbons just such as these. I can’t remember if there was a notable final product, but it hardly mattered. The ribbons were vibrant and lovely to behold.

Perhaps there is an analogy there to the conference, but I’m not going to push it. I’ll just leave you with a photo of the weavers.

notes from a pigiste

Wednesday. I enter Monona Terrace Convention Center and look around (where are the banners? why no trumpets?). In front, a row of tables, with men and women (but really men) sitting in pairs, as if in a chess tournament. But maybe they’re medics – all in white robes, peering, dabbing with sharp knives, studying samples?

No, they’re judges and they are picking winning cheeses at the 2008 World Championship Cheese Contest. 1941 entries from around the world, 79 categories, 36 judges. Biggest cheese competition anywhere! We’re good at doing things in big ways.

I walk up to the tables and watch. They cut, they sniff, they taste and most often they spit it out. And eat an apple slice to cleanse the palate.





.....

Jean-Marie Humbert is here to judge from France. I am drawn to his table because he is…expressive. A gorgonzola is placed before him. He looks at it, takes one whiff and shudders. I ask him in French what’s wrong. I don’t want to eat this! He says emphatically. It may make me sick!

The judge from Australia is studying the runny Reblechon. I ask if Reblechons are supposed to run. No, it is unusual. Maybe there’s some excessive moisture… Maybe a drip from the ceiling? – his partner judge looks up. I’m thinking the judges like being watched.

There aren’t many onlookers and I am given plenty of opportunities to ask questions and sample cheeses. Me, I don’t spit. I am drunk with these jewels of the food world! Leave me on a mountainside with a baguette and a good cheese and I shall not complain! (A glass of wine added to this would truly send me over the top.)

.....

Thursday. After class, I rush back to Monona Terrace. The last part of the competition is underway. The 79 categories each produced a winner yesterday. Today, all judges are tasting the 79 cheeses that placed first in their class.




And when their votes are tallied, we will have a blue medal winner. The supreme cheese. The grand dame. The best of the best.



.....

We are waiting now for the results. Jean-Marie comes up to chat. I’m not so good with my English and only a couple of my friends here speak French. I don’t believe him. Foreigners are always understating their knowledge of English. No, really. It took me a while to figure out what they meant when they announced that we were judging cheese 5205. Who knew that the Americans call a “zero” by the letter ”o”?!

I meet Ernst Oettli, the judge from Switzerland. He tells me that big as this contest is here, in the States, it has yet to get huge billings in Europe. There’s room to expand there.





But what will the Swiss or French do when asked to submit a cheese in, say, category no. 78: “shredded, flavored cheese”? The winner in that class (indeed, in all shredded and grated classes) is from Wisconsin. The best shredded, flavored? --from Masters Gallery Team: "Finely Shredded Taco Cheese Blend".

Ah.

But the French judge defends the “shredded” category – they offer unique, interesting textures! -- he tells me. (Even as I know his heart is with the the cheeses from his own neck of the woods.) The French are so kind.





And now comes the announcement: Third place finish: An Emmental from Switzerland. Second place – a Gorgonzola from Italy. And first place? I’m as tense as a parent is on their kid’s big recital.




There you have it. A Gruyer from Switzerland. The Swiss judge smiles. Small wonder. He knows the cheese, the cheesemaker and his family. It’s a small operation. Only five wheels per day! He says.

And now Ernst is surrounded by cameras. He’s no longer a judge, but a spokesperson for his country’s cheeses. What’s so special about the Gruyer? – he’s asked. The fruitiness, the full flavor…

I move to the side. Jean-Marie is there again. He asks me – you’re a pigiste, aren’t you? It sounds sort of porcine, but I know it can’t be that… He’s smiling: it means a journalist that writes what he pleases and then looks for a place to publish his work. Much better than pig-lover. And yes, I am writing an article on the competition. With a small summary exclusively delivered here, on Ocean.

hang in there

I am brimming with thoughts of mold. I can say no more. I will write a lengthy expose tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m providing a photo of those who shared my concerns today.

breakthrough

The door latch was lifted today. The thermometer hovered, wavered and then shot up to an astonishing 39 F.

Buoyed by yesterday’s success at walking home (after all, I made it), I set out with similar ambitions, detouring via the city bike path and Monroe Street.

It’s not a pretty stretch. Yesterday’s lake becomes today’s railyard. Where they dump coal for the power plant. No cardinals. Rather, this:





And the wind. A lake side gust at least makes you feel your lungs are getting a thorough cleaning. Here, it just felt cold.

Still, I made it to Trader Joe’s so that I could buy five boxes of triple ginger snaps – a cookie that keeps me going when everything else in the evening pushes me to sleep. After, I called Ed, on the off chance that he would offer a meet up at a café, followed by a lift home. (The wind plus five tins of cookies seemed a bit much.) He cheerfully obliged.

But to Ed, such balmy weather means it’s time to dust off the Honda. The one with only two wheels and a lot of open space. (For the uninformed: if you’re cold walking, you’ll be extra cold on a motorbike. It’s the wind factor.)

But, it’s a short ride and the backseat offers some protection. Indeed, the view is rather limited. Here's mine:





I made it home. My cookies survived. In fact, so did the daffodils. $1.49 a bunch. I bought three.

for the birds

Waiting for the bus this morning, I got too close to the curb and was rewarded with giant mud spray up and down my pants.


After work, I got the bug to walk home. It’s only 3.5 miles as the bike flies, but it seemed to take forever. And there was enough of a lake side breeze to offset any temperature gains. 31 F, in any event, is not spring-like, though I suppose the Inuit may feel differently about that.





A reader tried to inspire in me hope by writing about the birds that she heard each morning now in the dog park. Birds. That would be good. Listening to birds may send me soaring.

My first sighting was at the campus Centennial Gardens, but it was “only” of sparrows and I had to step over the encrusted in snow leftovers from last season’s gardens to get close to their chirpiness. Lots of pain for very little gain.


During the entire stretch of path along the lake I witnessed no birds at all. Oh, sorry, ducks count. But even these appeared checked out for the day, all huddled into their own feathers.




One took to the water and displayed a gutsy side, but the rest just sort of ignored him.





Finally, walking through Shorewood, I saw a cardinal. In a gray thicket. Unmistakable splash of crimson.





I was coming closer, just to say hi…





…but a garbage truck rolled up the street and spoiled the moment. The bird flew off, the truck heaved forward and I resumed the cold walk home.

spring forward

A few thoughts I had early this morning:

...change is, in the end, a good thing.

...one difference between humans and ants is that ants appear to be far more civilized and team spirited.

And:

…where is it written that anyone can say anything to anyone, without thought or deliberation?

So, I am moderating comments on Ocean. Not all letters to the editor deserve to be published and not all anonymous individuals deserve to see their words on the Net. Not on Ocean anyway.

I welcome stories, greetings, support, suggestions. I will ignore all else.

winter-hog day

Maybe it’s like the movie, Groundhog Day. D'you remember it? You wake up and it’s February 2nd. Again and again. And again.

People tell me that spring is days away. But what if it’s not? What if we expect it to come tomorrow and surprisingly, it does not? And it doesn't come the next day. Or next week, or next month -- the season is wiped off the slate, permanently. Winter, repeating itself like Groundhog Day in the movies. Until you go mad.

You get to thinking crazy thoughts like this if you wake up to another day of cold.


We were to go to Milwaukee, but talk of snow there put us off. Besides, this is the weekend of Canoecopia over at the convention center: the biggest kayak and canoe “convention” in Madison. In the Midwest. In the world. Says Ed.




We attend presentations. Kayaking in Provence. Kayaking in the UP. Kayaking in New England. I feel I have paddled and portaged enough to develop kayak blisters.

And around me, I see endless paddling enthusiasts.





She'd do well in a little polyethylene boat. A paddler in the making. Me, I love kayaking and I am happy to do what everyone does – get in and out of many many boats.





But in the end, I have to wonder: a million people (my own estimate) have come here to look at kayaks and canoes? Wow. We better dig out some more rivers to make room.

Meantime, Ed and I speculate about optimal kayaking places. He likes the spots where cell phone and WiFi signals are... not commonplace. Me? A morning espresso before paddling and an evening glass of wine afterwards seem optimal. Have I mentioned before that Ed and I approach life differently?

We leave the show. We make vague plans about future kayaking trips up one coast or another.

It’s not so cold now. And not a flake in sight. Monday, they say it may rain. So much for winter-hog day.

la vraie wisconsinite

The day moves slowly. I have law applications to review. I concentrate for a while, then put the stack down.

I need an Ocean post, I tell Ed.
I look outside. It’s a bright day. The kind you love in January – blue skies, magnificent sun, temperature hovering around…12 F.


You could take pictures at the mall…
I would like to forget as best as I can that I live close to a mall. No. No.
You’re restless. You want to visit something? A brewery? No. A pastry shop? No.
Let’s look up Madison tours on the Net. Here’s one! You want to take a tour of the radiation center in Stoughton? No!
Oh, here’s another! It’s a Badger Coach thing: you can go on a tour of Savannah! For $999! By bus!
We are getting awfully close to the gates of what I would consider hell – the image of me, rattling along for days on end with a group of cranky strangers first to Savannah, then through Savannah, then back again.
No.

Want lunch? -- he asks. It’s a code question. He knows I don’t eat lunch. It means: I’m hungry and would love to go out and get something to eat and wont you please join me and sit across the table and sip your cappuccino and read a book or something?
I agree. The next best thing to having a plateful of huevos rancheros, with beans, rice and blue corn tortillas is watching someone else eat them.

And still, my camera rests in my bag.

Ed suggests I stock up on table wines (it's cheaper that way) and so we head over to Steve’s. I fill up a box with handpicked selections – all beautifully toned in shades of summer fruits.

And still, I remain uninspired.

But wait. This is the new Steve’s. With a cheese shop at one end and Rachel in her big white apron, waiting to tell me which one to take home.

Okay, show me the most expensive cheese you have. I need an uplifting photo for an uplifting post on the beauty of cheese.
That would be the Hook’s 10-year-Cheddar. Not very photogenic...
She’s right.

Pick another prize of all prizes.
This one! Oh, try the Rogue Creamery Blue, with Pear Brandy Grape Leaf!

It is a beautiful sight: ripples of dark blue against a firm, golden hunk of cheese.





Behind me, a customer is taking in the heady smell of fermented milk. He leans forward and considers his selections.





This is my town! We’re caught in a vignette of cheeses and smiles and paper wrapped parcels and I am drunk without having had a drop of wine (yet) and it feels so good to be here!

Cheese. I belong here. I’m a Wisconsinite. Heady cheese. A cheese in my head. Glorious. (Even though the Rogue is from Oregon. The state. Shhhh!)

the brave, the hardy, the few

It struck me that it had been a while since I went by way of the bike path – the one that takes me past the lake to campus. Since the first snowflakes touched the gravel road. Half a year maybe. Or more. We’ve had snow forever.

And it also struck me that the prettiness of winter (which has left me uncharmed now for a number of weeks) is soon to be a thing of the past.

So I took a detour in the late afternoon.

It was a desolate place. A few hardy souls. That’s it. Here they are, refusing to give in to The Chill. Bundled up and bracing the wind. And looking not unhappy with the ice and snow. Heroes, all of them.



one has fur, the other has a very big scarf





forging ahead






the ice fishers: they've figured it out and for that, they get my top honors

men ingesting

I walked up State Street to get an afternoon cappuccino and I thought about how people who are preoccupied (obsessed?) with March weather are not all that interesting and I should take note of something other than meteorological nuances of a day.

And I did. I took just a handful of photos and after I came home, I noticed that there was a unifying theme: they were all of men ingesting beverages or food.

Conclusions? None. I think, subliminally, I was still pursuing the weather theme. As in – why would anyone eat ice cream today?





On the other hand, this guy, with the Izzy – oh… he was my favorite. He reminded me of (sunny) Italy. They may not have Izzy in Italy, but isn’t Orangina the same? And, isn't he longing to be elsewhere? With someone who cares, deeply?






I left my office when it was already dark (no great feat – it still gets dark early). I passed through the student area, noting the sole person there, eating and working. To me, that’s a very sad combination. Each act deserves its space and time. And the empty chair… can’t someone come over and sit for a while?





Outside, I felt the snowflakes. I hadn’t bothered with a hat. A shame.

waiting

If you love sleeping and if you love waiting, then you have life sewn up, because the vast majority of your living hours are spent on one or the other.

Sleeping… it’s clear when we sleep. Eyes closed, a little snort now and then, tuned out.

Waiting. For the shower to warm up. For the coffee to pour into the little cup, for the light to change, for the bus to come, for the computer to fire up.

…for the votes to come in, for the weather to improve.

For the weather to improve.

No photos today.

change, continued

All this talk of change! Will the real leader for change please stand up? Oh, and the weather? It’s about to change! Time as well. We’ll trade in an hour of time for the perception of the arrival of spring this week-end. Postage rates – I’m at the post office and the clerk is warning me of an imminent change (not so soon! It’s in May and it’s only a penny!). And my age – I'm reading that a local bowling alley offers discounts for seniors, i.e. those 55 or older. That’ll be me next month!

I can’t say that I moved to contribute to this universal shout-out for change. I can offer a very ordinary comment: some change is good. In political leadership, for example. Does anyone doubt that? “More of the same” has never gotten anyone elected, to my knowledge. People always want things to be better. Even as, at this point, people (me included) are desperate for things to be hugely different and therefore, by definition, better.

But walking home this afternoon, I tried to not think about how change sometimes does not happen even as we are ready for it. The melting snow, made mushy by the rains last night, is no longer so mushy. Footprints have turned solid. Sort of like the footprints in concrete at the Grauman's Chinese Theater in L.A. And the idea that we’ll lose our blanket of white became… just an idea. (This week, we can expect more snow.)





And in trying not to think about how cold that 21 degrees felt, what with the wind and all that snow, I thought, instead, about a comment on Ocean – the one about how the reader misses posts about people.

Even though to me, Ocean has to be multifaceted, because life is that way, still, I miss those posts too. I remembered what I jotted down to myself at the age of twelve – I want to be a journalist. (Where did that come from? I was sort of a math nurd.) And still later, when I decided on grad school, it was with the idea that I would become an ethnographer.

Ocean isn’t journalism or ethnography. But it lets me dabble with my unchanging love of the snapshot. Of a life in progress. Preferably not my own. Though, of course, as it presents itself to me.

Anyway, nothing has changed there. Even though my brownie camera and my Smith Corona are no longer trusty nor dusty. They’re just gone. Did I mention that technologies have changed in recent decades?

finding history

I know what you’re thinking. Madison hasn’t a personality. Rip out the Capitol and the campus and you have anytown, USA, with the requisite sprawl and a downtown that, on a winter Sunday, looks hollowed out and, well, dull.

You’re so wrong.

But maybe Ocean hasn’t helped much in creating a richer texture to this town. Maybe my preoccupation with work (hence the stream of campus photos) and my photographic laziness (hence the Capitol, shot from all angles) have lead you to think there’s not much more?

Today – a day as gray as they come – Ed and I set out to walk in the footsteps of Madison’s first settlers. Ed loves reading historical plaques and boards almost as much as reading Wired Magazine and the New Yorker (in that order), but on this walk, we had to rely on notes from the Net. There are few commemorative markers indicating the rich heritage of downtown Madison.

How old is this place anyway?

In 1846, the population of this, well, village, was 626. Perfect for locating the capital of the territory of Wisconsin here. I mean, why not start out small? But as the construction of the Capitol building began, the neighborhood just east of it hummed.

And part of me wants to be in that Madison now, because it grew as a town of family grocers and bakers and saddle makers (I’m talking about a very small part of me, since they had heating issues then), with a rail connection to the north and to the south, a large train depot and several adjacent hotels and dining rooms (is a saloon a dining room?).

In just a small handful of blocks, we saw not a small number of the houses from this early settlement. It’s a terrific stroll to take if you want to get to know the town better (you can find details of the historic neighborhood here). Probably even more terrific on a summer or spring day. But forget the grayness. There’s enough color in the red Madison brick and the sandstone used for construction back in the late 1800s. Take a look:

[East Main Street, as it hits the Capitol Square:]


possibly the oldest commercial block in Madison, circa 1847: once home to a newspaper

[King Street, fanning away from the Square:]


to the left, the building with the turret: a Schlitz saloon, in front of modernity




a detail of a building once housing newspapers and harnesses (and on the left, the Capitol)





once a hotel and livery





began as a grocery, then a bread bakery...


[East Wilson Street, as it runs into Williamson Street:]


former hotel and saloon





once a depot, now not much of anything; though the tracks do swing by the Frank Lloyd Wright Monona Terrace




former warehouse


[the residential South Hancock and South Franklin Streets:]


1853 home of a marble cutter




they made horse collar pads





"downtown" hotel owners


And think how gorgeous it’ll be once the dirty snow disappears. Which, my commenters reassure me, will be very soon.

change

I need a diversion. Can’t always write about the dreariness of a never-ending season. Let me pull out two recent comments and use them as threads for today’s post.

First – on the theme “how Madison has changed!” Oh yes it has. Or, is it that I look at it differently now that I live closer to its nervy center, with more time to poke around there?

Of course, this year, people are preoccupied with the huge amount of snow. A winter like no other: cold, blustery, slippery, snow encrusted. There’s a change!

Oh, sorry. I meant to head in a different direction. So, let me take note of what’s cookin’ in this town of mine.

Any closings? Any hot prospects? (I mean hot in the nonseasonal sense, really I do…) Would you believe that the area around Hilldale Mall has become downright bubbly? Today, you could not find a parking space in the three story ramp adjacent to it and believe me, it wasn’t for the stores at the Mall. It has to be the food. Pasqual’s was packed, Dane Brewery is never quiet, Muramoto – I swear, New Yorkers will travel here for what it does with sushi. Oh, and there’s the 608 Bistro and the Flat Top Grill. Did I miss anything?

Downtown? It’s a never-ending shuffle board over there. Opened: Willie Street Co-Op; closing, or rather, transforming: Cocoliquot Restaurant is to become the new Downtown Muramoto; closing: Scoshi Women’s Apparel; opened: Sucre pastries and edibles on the Square; moving: Little Luxuries, down to where Puzzlebox used to be, etc. etc.

I admit, it’s not a great shake up at the core, but you get the feeling that Madison is like plates of rock along the earth’s faults, constantly shifting things around. But no earthquake over here. Just an ice quake. Oops. Sorry.

Second theme – how the patterns of my social life have changed. How true! And you’re surprised? Settling into a pattern is not something I do well. I can go from being out and about every night for years – to being a total recluse for even more years. I only appear to be hugely social. But you have to wonder, would a hugely social being travel alone as much as I do?

Dinner parties? Why don’t I keep forging ahead with cooking up storms? (Not the winter kind!) Hey, there was the olive party and food was definitely on the table back in December! Sure, in years past, I cooked, therefore I was. I now regard it as my period of great debauchery and decadence (okay, mild, by most accounts, but as close as I’ll get in life to either). I was feeding and wining people every month, at least.

It took me a while to see that, with rare exception, the food was flowing only in one direction.

But more importantly – entertaining is a hobby that works well when you have, here and there, pockets of time to fill. I do not have many empty pockets of time, even as my financial pockets are pretty empty. When I am in town and not working on law stuff, I’m working on non-law stuff.

There you have it: a comment on how nothing is ever the same.

Except the winter cold, the by now tiresome black and white winter forest, the ice-crusted sidewalks and pot-holed streets. I can’t help it. I go out and that’s all I see. I t could be that it’s because I am cold right now, it is cold right now and I have a cold right now. Here’s to change.

in my way

Why did we get an extra day in February? I would have liked an extra day in the month of May – unquestionably the most hope-filled month. Adding a few more hours of hope sounds good to me.

Last night, I barely made it across the Square. My evening companions were hardly bothered by the sting in the wind. Making me wonder if I am in the wrong state, with the wrong people. Or at least in the wrong season.





Just to torture me, two eateries turned out to be closed. Perhaps forever. Still, we made our way to the third -- Muramoto, which is always special, always fresh and creative (and always just a tiny bit cold).





So on balance? I can't complain. Good will and good food trumped the cold.

But the next day? Well, as is often the case, if you start with resolve, you end with resolve and nothing much happens in between.

I worked at home and brooded. Looking out my balcony windows, I was at first buoyed by the blue skies. And then? Let’s just say that clouds got in my way.

what were they thinking?

It is an uncomplicated family. With just two sets of grandparents. No separations, abandonments, divorces leading to multiple sets, or additions. The two pairs? Different as can be. One set has stronger caregiving instincts. The other? Hard to tell. I’ve heard the words “selfish” and “difficult,” but really, who can tell.

They don’t get along with each other. Of that I am sure. I never hear sentences directed from one to the other. Think of all the possibilities: she can talk to the other grandmother, the other grandmother can talk to him and he to her, or to the other grandfather. But none of this happens.

And yet, to the amazement of all, the other grandparents, the ones with no caregiving instincts buy a cottage right next to the fence circling the home of the one set of grandparents. To taunt them? No. Too expensive a proposition.

What were they thinking?? Maybe – and no one thought this is possible, but maybe they had an itch. To be physically close, to their son, their granddaughters, even as nothing else in their nature, or perhaps in the circumstances, permitted the more intangible connection.

All four have died, some time ago, and so it's impossible to know for sure.


I was thinking of physical distance today. And of families. And of partnerships. And mostly of daughters. With whom I have multiple exquisite connections. But, because of circumstances, the physical distance is there. To taunt me.


No photos today.

work

A student comes into my office to chat. He looks over my shoulder – you have over 9000 messages in your Inbox?

I shrug. Sometimes life gets the better of you.


My day? Like countless others. Consumed by work and thoughts of work and worries about work and dreams of less work.

In between various lectures, I sit not too far from the broken fireplace at Acora coffee shop (off the Square) and stare at the logs that refuse to light up. Behind me, a picture with a peace sign feels like it needs a prop to the right.





Perhaps I’m not telling the story well. Okay. Start again.
The Square. Walking toward Ancora.





After, I cut through the Capitol to get to State Street. You know, the street that, in a straight arrow, shoots you straight to Bascom Hill.





Eventually, I lose any conception of time and place. Until the light fades and it’s time to leave and go home.





Long day.

thinking about value

I’ve been thinking a lot about accomplishments today (and lack thereof). Some people give years to this kind of pensiveness, but I gave it only about an hour.

It doesn’t take me long to sort through puzzle pieces – I either find good fits, or I don’t and then I turn to something else. But today, I’m thinking maybe I found some good pieces. Figuratively speaking.

Much of this is about the value of work (not only the wage-earning type) and about whether, at the end of the day, you know you have delivered something of worth.

But beyond this, it's also about how differently people approach value. And that it shouldn’t much matter how others judge value, so long as you can understand what holds value for you. (For a very random example, I see value in a politician’s work ethic and political and personal accomplishments. As opposed to, say, a convincing speech. And I’m okay with that. But that may be just me.)

All this thinking, coupled with a substantial work load (of the wage-earning type) left little time for much else. But I did take a photo. And it reminds me in some small way of a painter. And her paintings remind me of “my own demographic.” Which in turn reminds of me of how sad it is that important work (for a random example – ascribed to one gender, or in the alternative, most often performed by one gender) is so often undervalued by others (for example – by members of a different gender – the one with the louder voice).

So enjoy the colors of the tulip. Think spring. In the alternative, just think. (Maybe about value?)