Friday, December 06, 2019

Friday: the tree

Picking up a Christmas tree is not that complicated when you live in Wisconsin. I mean, we are in the top five on the list of tree growing states. Chances are you got your tree from one of our tree farms. A number of plant stores in town sell them. Grocery stores sell them. We're golden!

Our family has had a special fondness for the trees sold by the University's Forestry Club. Over the decades, we have set aside time, late on the first December Friday, to stop by the Stock Pavilion (which has the look and feel of a huge barn) and pick up a tree there. The prices are unbeatable: you can grab a balsam fir of any size for $45. The money is used to benefit the programs supported by the Club. It's a great way to bring a tree into your home.

If you have been looking in on Ocean for a number of years, you'll perhaps remember that Ed and I do not have a large holiday tree at the farmhouse. At first, I used a potted norfolk pine for a tree substitute. That was fine, but my potted pine has sprouted in many directions and it is, in fact huge. It looks more like a monster bush than a Christmas tree. And so a couple of years ago, I began to bring in a little Christmas tree here. Ed was a little concerned about a cut tree, but I assured him that if it wasn't for our purchase, trees would not be planted, birds would not nest, our landscape would grow barren. In other words, growing Christmas trees is good for the environment. Even if they do eventually have to be cut down and brought indoors.

The young family, however, continues the old tradition of going to the Forestry Club. But, last year, when we merrily drove over after school on Friday (the sale runs from Friday through Sunday), there were hardly any trees left! We purchased a reject. It was in the end a fine reject, but there really was no choice.

This year, we think we're smarter. Mom and kids will drive over and meet me at the Pavilion at 8 in the morning -- the opening hour of the tree sale. Mom will take tree home and still get to work before 9. I'll shuttle the kids to school.

Great plan!

Not wanting to be stuck in morning rush hour traffic, I do everything early. I feed the animals early. I shower and put on my best gingerbread man shirt early. I tell Ed we can eat breakfast after I get back. No problem. The guy's still half asleep. I drive up to the Pavilion ten minutes before the opening time. Brilliant!

Or is it?

I see a long snake of a line extending from the Pavilion, around the corner, onto one of the campus streets. Dozens and dozens of cars! The set up is the same as always: you drive into the Pavilion, you get out, pick your tree, pay for it, some forestry student ties it up to the roof of your car, you drive out. The Pavilion can accommodate maybe five, six cars at a time. There are many trees. People are (understandably) poky in making their selection. I get to the tail end of the line thinking  -- this is going to take forever.

My daughter, arriving promptly at 8 with the kids is even further down the line. We confer by phone. There are so many cars before me! Even more before her. Some cars come in from the side and try to budge the line. Sometimes successfully. Chaos reigns.

My daughter is worrying about getting to work. The clock ticks.

We have a plan! This is it: I will ditch my car in a campus parking lot. I'll walk over to my daughter's car, grab the kids and hustle them inside the Pavilion. We pick the tree. I take photos. By the time she drives into the Pavilion, the tree will be ready to be hoisted up onto her car.

What could possibly go wrong??

I get the kids out. Sparrow is heavy and slippery. Snowdrop would have been fine on her own on the sidewalk, except that a police car chooses this moment to drive up along the sidewalk to get to the head of the line, possibly thinking that they can in some way reign in the chaos. She clings to me. Sparrow slips precipitously as we stumble along into the Pavilion.

Oh the trees! The beautiful trees! Kids, lets take off the jackets!
(Gogs, I'm a little cold...)


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Okay, put on your jacket.


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(Gogs, I'm warm ...)


Despite the traffic, the confusion, the difficulty in picking, given that most trees are stacked one against another, Snowdrop is in fact in a state of delightful exuberance -- happy as can be, she dances between the tall firs and tries her hardest to pick the best possible tree for their home.

Sparrow, on the other hand, is terrified. I try many, many times to put him down next to a tree, any tree for that beautiful photo of kids in the thick of pines. He will have none of it. Full of tears and unhappy cries, he runs to me with arms outstretched. This is the best I could do, in a moment when I asked him to look up, just for a second....

(Oh, but the trees are so tall! So scary tall!)


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Well, never mind. We pick a tree that seems a reasonable size (I rely on Snowdrop for this -- I cannot pull out trees and hold onto Sparrow all at the same time), get a student to saw off a few inches and lo, here comes mommy in her car!

You could posit that all is smooth from hereon. You would be wrong.

I get the kids in the car and attempt to start it. Nope. Key is stuck, wont turn, wheel is firmly stuck, wont turn. I write this because maybe someday you'll find yourself facing this very predicament. Everything is locked, nothing moves. What do I do?
Ed!!!
What's up, gorgeous?
I'm in the car with the kids and everything is frozen solid. Nothing moves!
Try turning the wheel hard.
I cannot! It wont budge!
Can you get out and roll the car in neutral?

I do that. Problem solved. Snowdrop pipes up: I told you to push the car! Someday, I'm going to learn all about driving!
Nothing daunts her today. She is one happy child.

And in truth, everyone buying trees this morning was if not exuberant, then at least in a state of good cheer. Despite the lines (I had been sitting in the car waiting to snake into the Pavilion for close to 40 minutes), despite the difficulty in sorting through all those heavy trees, people wore goofy smiles on their faces, perhaps loving the smell of fir, perhaps feeling happy to be finally inside, among dozens and dozens of tall, beautiful trees.

The kids are late for school. Breakfast with Ed is very very late...


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But on the upside, my daughter made it to work on time.


I set aside time this morning to decorate the little farmhouse tree. That takes all of five, maybe ten minutes.


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And in the afternoon, Snowdrop comes over...


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But not for long. We are due at her home in the early evening. Today is their tree trimming extravaganza. Gaga helps.

Sparrow is, initially, intimidated by the tree, the boxes of ornaments, the rearrangement of the living room. It takes a while to get him to accept the new normal!


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(Finally: a relaxed little boy...)


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Snowdrop does help toward the end, but she is also a tired girl. It's been a very long day for everyone.


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(the ever present smiles...)


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(the Christmas books...)


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The trees are up, the lights are aglow. The colors of the season are fully upon us!

Thursday, December 05, 2019

Thursday

I'm sure you have them as well: days, where you set out early and one thing leads to the next, and then the next, and then the next, and you follow this chain until the final link, when late, oh so late, you pull into the driveway, come into your warm home, throw down your coat, your purse, your bag of food for the day and heave a great big sigh of relief.

When at breakfast Ed asks -- what do you have for the day? -- my response is "don't even ask."
Feeling perhaps that I could use a pat on the back, he tells me -- gorgeous, take my picture.

It's become somewhat of a funny skit now. When he wants to show his willingness, his desire to help me reach a point where I can smile about everything, he'll ask, indeed plead for that photo.


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Animal care takes a long time again. I don't really understand it. Perhaps it's that on crispy cold mornings you are more attentive, less casual about it. Porch cats, chickens -- they need your help after a cold night. (I have no pity for the shed cats, who lead a life of luxury out there, in the heated sheep shed.)

But the day warms up past freezing again and shortly after our morning meal, I set out on that first link, which is a quick run to the grocery store. Everything is a little off schedule, since my last grocery trip was on Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Last night I still managed to scrape up a solid dinner based on turkey leftovers, but I need to look ahead to other foods now. So I shop.

And I pick up a little Christmas tree!


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From there, I go straight to a Thai place for lunch with a friend. Me, eating lunch out is so unusual that it completely throws me off balance. I feel I should nap afterwards. Isn't that what you do after a big midday meal? Aren't siestas there exactly for that purpose?

But I don't have time for that. My next link is picking up the kids and bringing them over to the farmhouse. Along with the wee Christmas tree.


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("No, Gaga, I don't like it up on top of a crate! I want to reach the top!")


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And then comes that tricky Thursday medley: of getting Snowdrop into her dance gear, hustling both kids back into the car...

(such a beautiful sunset!)


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... and then into the dance studio, where Sparrow is picked up by a parent and I make sure Snowdrop is prepped properly for her class.

I watch for a while...


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... and then the second parent comes and I'm off to pick up Ed's favorite take out food (at Chipotle).

By 6:45, my coat is off, the trays of food are on the table.



Wednesday, December 04, 2019

Wednesday

On this beautiful day, we're kicking around various irritants. Ed is under the weather. One grandchild has a medical procedure to go through, one great grandmother is bouncing around health concerns as well. Ah well, we're all headed in a good direction (meaning getting better rather than getting worse) and this in itself is reason to rejoice.

And the weather! Oh, the weather! It's beautiful! I mean, November beautiful, but still, I am taking note of the sunshine. It is lovely to wake up to!


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Animals, enjoy it, because the deep freeze is lurking, waiting to make a reappearance.


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Days that are pretty have a way of escaping. Running way from us. Perhaps it's because we want so much from them! They should not be wasted! On a freezing, icy gray day, time can stand still. You can light soy candles, you can play beautiful music and still, the clock moves slowly. That's not necessarily a bad thing. You can accomplish much when the minutes crawl. But today, I look up and see that the clock has put us already into the afternoon. Never mind. It was grand to look up all morning long and see a blue sky.

The kids are here after school.


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And I'm so happy to see them! There is work in child care -- don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But it's good work, where you do not have to question the worth of the hours you spend with them. Sometimes, especially when I am sick, when both are needy, when it's dark outside, time moves slowly. But this merely means that I have to put in extra effort. And honestly, when life demands of you extra effort, usually it means that you are going to be doing good stuff.


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Today, the minutes do not drag. The kids are content, full of kind impulses toward each other. The books are wonderful, the snacks -- plentiful. And the warm light just keeps pouring in and the day zips by speedily, like a champion skater on glistening ice, all the way to the finish line.

Tuesday, December 03, 2019

Tuesday

It's a beautiful, sunny day here, in Wisconsin. I feel a little like I did when I was working: such a pretty day! Too bad I have things to keep me inside!

I have another early morning trek out and once again I drag Ed along with me. (That same Ed who stays up late and likes to sleep in even later.) Morning errands deserve companionship!

And afterwards, we make our way to Finca Cafe, where the sun shines with all its wonderfulness and a tree is up and twinkling and the coffee is so very good!


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There is an article in the NYTimes today about getting a jumpstart on your New Years resolutions. Didn't I just say that I need to hike more in 2020? According to this piece, you need to get going before your sacred date is thrust upon you.

We head out on our county park trail. Not a long trek, mind you. But at least we're trekking.


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(a flooded segment causes us to backtrack)


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In the afternoon, the kids are here. December routines? Advent calendars!


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Maybe I'm reading things into the kids' behaviors, but it did seem to me that there is a bit of a turning point for them today. Sparrow gained enough physical confidence to chase down his sister for a big hug. And another and another.


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She was so surprised and so happy with his effusiveness, that she invited him to dance...


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And eventually, to play restaurant.

They were one joyful team for a good chunk of the afternoon!


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Evening. Ed and I had an event to attend (one of the environmental causes we like to support), but in the end, we do not go out. Evenings that are slow paced and warm are precious. We did not want to give this one up.

Monday, December 02, 2019

Monday

Sunshine! At last, plenty of sunshine!

I'm up early.


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Ed and I are off to a clinic for a medical one thing or another. For me. I've noticed something: when you get older, you either ignore quirky stuff taking place inside you (that would be Ed) or you wind up visiting a doc's office quite a number of times (that would be me) to make sure that your insides aren't completely unraveling.

As we pull into the parking lot of the clinic, I get a call from my mom who is feeling really, really not well. I'm two minutes late for my appointment, but this is no time to pay attention to such detail. Instead, I make sure she goes through with her call to the ER. Relieved that she is under a doctor's care, I turn to my own doc visit.

I come out of the clinic a bit woozy and in desperate need of food and coffee. We head for Paul's cafe where I down a whopping  avocado scrambler, which makes me feel superb!

And I tell myself this: I have got to move more and visit clinics less in 2020!  I love my health care providers (which is not the same as loving my health insurance!) but I would love them even more if I saw less of them. There isn't a doubt that my resolution for 2020 has to be about upping the activity levels and polishing up my inner calm.

I comment to Ed: you are never anxious!
Hmmm, I guess...
I  mean, I can't imagine you having an ounce of anxiety, whereas I can list for you ten things right now that are keeping me on the verge of worry!
That doesn't mean I will never be anxious...
Honestly, I just don't see this as a possibility for you...
Whatever you say, gorgeous.

I can never be like Ed. But in the second half of November alone, I've made great progress toward incorporating a calmer set of reactions to usual triggers of stress. I don't know about you, but for me, this will be the great project for the next decade: to continue along the path of calm.

In the afternoon, I pick up first Sparrow (you'll carry your sister's lunch box?)...


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... then Snowdrop.


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How easy it is to enchant these two! In my travels, I had picked up an old world Advent Calendar for Snowdrop and Sparrow. You'd think a little door with just a drawing behind it would not inspire a child. You'd be wrong. Snowdrop loves looking for those dated doors!

(Sparrow shows a passing interest, then returns to his world of dance...)


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And today, Snowdrop is in for a real surprise: in the mail, another old fashioned Advent calendar makes an appearance. A gift from one of you. A million thanks!

The little one is just thrilled and spends many many minutes imagining a world that fits into the calendar set up.

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(Sparrow returns to his books. We call them "the boring Sparrow favorites," but secretly, we love how much he loves these sweet little texts.)


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In the late late evening, Ed and I sit back with our popcorn and odd movie selection.
So, it was a good day, wasn't it? -- he asks.
He's right, of course. So much could have gone haywire, but it did not. And the kids were fantastic and there was sunshine. Very very good, I agree.



Sunday, December 01, 2019

Happy December!

Don't you think that this last month of the year, a month that, in our half of the planet, brings with it too many hours of darkness, as well as the official beginning of cold cold days and nights -- that it is, nonetheless a month of privilege? You may belong to a subset that doesn't like all the holiday trappings -- the parties, the glitter and shine, the food, the gifts, the fables, the music -- but trappings there are and they do give December a punchiness and sparkle that no other month commands. Call it commercial nonsense, view it as excess, be the humbug in the crowd. It doesn't matter. No one's listening. The rest of us are enchanted by the transformation: a month of coldness and darkness is suddenly beloved and appreciated. Amazing!

The weather here, in the upper Midwest, feels drizzly cold. A breath above freezing. Nothing to write home about. The kittens and Stop Sign have returned to the porch. They huddle on the heating pad, coming out every now and then to frolic. Well, the little ones frolic.


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Stop Sign is getting old. She does a lot of resting.


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Breakfast. I still record it here, on Ocean (how can I not!)...


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... but I've put away the camera for this meal. Ed asks -- don't you want to take my picture?
Nope, no need.
Oh, come on!
Really. Not necessary to my story line.
Gorgeous, take a picture!


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In the early afternoon, we work hard on motivating each other to go out for a walk. Neither of us finds this to be an attractive possibility. Wet snow flakes are coming down, melting at the touch of any surface. The landscape is muddy, offering shades of dark brown for your color palette. Still, we have to embrace this season! Staying inside all day long is not an option!

The trails in our local county park are... wet.


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(Pond half frozen from the early weeks of November)


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I am so glad to return to a warm and dry farmhouse!


In the evening, the young family comes for a spaghetti dinner.
 

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(Sparrow makes the rounds: we're all sick of this book. He finds Ed, who never says no to a kid request.)


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And so begins another month at the farmette. Happy December indeed!

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Saturday after Thanksgiving

It is the last day of November. I can hardly believe it! Thirty days have September, April June and November. Thirty days at a dizzying speed in a month that typically drags.

This year, just a few hours into November, I got this uncomfortable feeling that the month would not let me just coast. It immediately posed challenges. Then, two weeks into the month,  I was stunned at how inconsequential events could catapult you and toss you into uncharted waters and raging seas. Three weeks into the month, I had to find my way home again. Four weeks into the month, the family gathered with love and gratitude, and the kids played, and the oven got crowded again with tins and sheets and pans. And I trimmed Ed's beard and he no longer looks like a sailor lost at sea. Or, in the alternative, Santa Claus.

In other words, the month started with a tremble, moved through an earthquake and finished with a lullaby.

And today, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, that lullaby grew into a full blown operatic masterpiece.

It was not a complicated day. The two young families gathered at the farmhouse for brunch. Big deal, right?

Well, it is a big deal. Our big holiday together is behind us. Today, it's just us being us, with each other. Me making a frittata (with spinach, tat soi, and clamshell, trumpet and pioppini mushrooms. And cheese, of course). And baking cinnamon rolls. And mini pancakes for the kids. Oh, and bacon, because it smells so good on a cold wet day.

It's my last day with Primrose and I watch her extra closely, to get my fill of her at this beautiful age.


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She has a special spot in our hearts, though of course, they all do. Special spots, overlapping, as daughters and their daughters and son spend precious free minutes together.


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(Sparrow is the family sous chef. We see him as the next competitor at Junior Master Chef. Well, except for the fact that he is a terribly fussy eater. Perhaps we don't rise to his standards of excellence...)


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Brunch. Happy, happy brunch.


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(Snowdrop discovers the penguins on her napkin. Snowdrop does love penguins...)


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(Primrose, grateful that grandma remembered the mango and the degree of ripeness was just right...)


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There's still a little time for play. The two toddlers find a common love: trains, with room for passengers.


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Snowdrop has reconsidered many of the little kid toys ever since her brother rolled them out on the play mat, but putting in and taking out characters into things that move? That's just too yesterday. She chills on her mom's lap.


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(Sparrow's dad loves baseball caps. It looks like the little guy will form attachments to them as well.)


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(She has that "little kids and grandmas! what are you gonna do with them" expression...)


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Time to put on your shoes, Primrose...
No!


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That's me, happy to have had this magnificent set of hours with the whole brood here once more, at the table with two inserts stuck in to accommodate us all, and a beautiful table cloth that my friend Bee and I picked out in Paris...


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Life is always a tad more complicated than you may want, so I should note, for the record, that November ends with a lullaby alright, but with an asterik. My mom hasn't been feeling well lately. The kids had a good visit with her and Ed and I spent the day trying to fix some of the technical challenges she is facing, but, we cannot fix the fact that she is not feeling well.

What was that? A lightening flash outside? Pounding rain? Oh, November! You really are hellbent on inserting bits of trouble this year, aren't you?!