My dentist asks me today -- how are you dealing with the absence of structure in your days?
And I tell him quite honestly -- I felt put out today when I knew I had a 2 o'clock appointment that interfered with my structure free day!
Why is it that I get this question mostly from men? I mean, you could hypothesize that women, used to juggling care-giving and work, have been tied to the clock even more than men. You'd think they would worry about being set loose into the abyss of an unscheduled week. Yet I rarely (never?) hear them fret about retirement. Whereas so many men do ask and then inevitably I hear this response -- I don't think I'd like it.
Well, I do like it. Even as this morning I am up again with the cheepers...
But after, I retreat into a few more minutes of rest and so in fact, breakfast is late.
The bugs are out massively right now. The last big swarm of mosquitoes is passing through. Not as bad as some years, but certainly as bad as we've seen this year. And so again, yard work is not going to pull us away from our respective projects. We pick a few weeds and then retreat into our bubbles of self-imposed work.
You would not call this day beautiful. Or at least you'd have to qualify it as "unconventionally beautiful." And yet, these early hours of Fall sit well with me. Everything around us is so established! It needs no help, no stake. It moves at its own speed now.
This abundance -- a summer's growth spurt, it is what the season has given us. And now, slowly, it is time to pack up and put it away for a rest.
But not entirely. No just yet.
We play tennis in the early evening. The best volley series ever! Two people, playing their crazy game even as the pine trees are dropping needles on the court and the sun sinks too low too quickly by my calculation.
Harvest moon tonight. It used to aid farmers in the completion of their work outside. Now, it's just there to love and behold.
And I tell him quite honestly -- I felt put out today when I knew I had a 2 o'clock appointment that interfered with my structure free day!
Why is it that I get this question mostly from men? I mean, you could hypothesize that women, used to juggling care-giving and work, have been tied to the clock even more than men. You'd think they would worry about being set loose into the abyss of an unscheduled week. Yet I rarely (never?) hear them fret about retirement. Whereas so many men do ask and then inevitably I hear this response -- I don't think I'd like it.
Well, I do like it. Even as this morning I am up again with the cheepers...
But after, I retreat into a few more minutes of rest and so in fact, breakfast is late.
The bugs are out massively right now. The last big swarm of mosquitoes is passing through. Not as bad as some years, but certainly as bad as we've seen this year. And so again, yard work is not going to pull us away from our respective projects. We pick a few weeds and then retreat into our bubbles of self-imposed work.
You would not call this day beautiful. Or at least you'd have to qualify it as "unconventionally beautiful." And yet, these early hours of Fall sit well with me. Everything around us is so established! It needs no help, no stake. It moves at its own speed now.
This abundance -- a summer's growth spurt, it is what the season has given us. And now, slowly, it is time to pack up and put it away for a rest.
But not entirely. No just yet.
We play tennis in the early evening. The best volley series ever! Two people, playing their crazy game even as the pine trees are dropping needles on the court and the sun sinks too low too quickly by my calculation.
Harvest moon tonight. It used to aid farmers in the completion of their work outside. Now, it's just there to love and behold.
While I was working, I knew men who didn't want to retire. They've "be bored." Gosh, I don't think I can even imagine boredom. I never have time for boredom, however it may look from the outside.
ReplyDeleteI smiled at the "however it may look from the outside." It is true that, for me, my standards changed after retirement. I used to multitask and rush all the time. I RAN to work from the parking lot nearly every day. I'm just not in a hurry any more and I really don't like to pack days to the rim. I may appear to have slackened. But I still feel busy! Just not rushed.
DeleteNina - I think that's the key, busy, but not rushed. it's all that rushing that wore us out over the years. I like very much your new, not rushing pace! I feel it here in your blog.
DeleteSame here, Lee. Though I do like some structure, self-imposed. I like to have somewhere to go in the morning, after I've had a quiet hour or even two.. and then, it's so pleasing to come home again!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest son, as a tot, used to say he was the boss of himself. We all like that, don't we!
btw, that little boy grew up to be self-employed, no surprise. :)
I suppose my breakfast morning routine and evening dinner routine are very much structured!
DeleteEd is my example of the man who bucks the general tide (as is your son). Ed hated working for someone and at an early age went out on his own, never to be supervised again. He still is the least structured person I know. There is no form to his day. He indulges me on the meal front, but he could well manage without that and I daresay, when I'm away, even the idea of a dinner or a breakfast goes away. He arranges his day as the day proceeds. No structure at all. I'm rigid if compared to him!
I am always amazed by comments about "retirement" that reflect the idea that without the structure of a workday, what will we do. I think part of the problem is the word itself. I think what you, Lee, Joy, I, and many others do is not retirement but a pursuit of living fully. Some of us put structure in our days, others of us are more free-flowing. I find joy in the simple things that I often neglected when working too much, like walking the dog without hurrying her or lingering over my morning coffee (instead of grabbing it on the run or after getting to the office). Yes, I am not officially retired, in that I still work (at home) but my days are mostly mine unlike the years I spent in classrooms and offices!
ReplyDeleteYour days are your own! Very much so. Your final hold is to have to meet a deadline. But it's got flexibility so you're lucky to have that moment in the morning without having to look at your watch. Precious time... We can never have too much of it!
DeleteMany years ago I was a personal secretary for a very wealthy couple in Southern, CA. I remember when they started seeing a counselor who was going to *prepare* and guide them through retirement. I remember thinking at the time that they had waaaaay too much money if they were spending it that way. But I guess for some people, retirement is challenging.
ReplyDelete