Memorial Day

The unofficial beginning of summer. The day of remembrance. A day of online sales, a day of community pool openings. For many -- a day of bbq's and family gatherings.

It's a little cool, but nonetheless, it's pretty outside. Light breeze, a few clouds. Short sleeve weather.

For me -- a day to finalize all aspects of the move for my mother: go over every item and put it in one of three piles -- to add to her new rooms, to leave behind for trash, and to donate to people we know who would make good use of it. 

But before I start in on that, I go about my usuals. Yes, there is breakfast...

 And before that, I do my rounds. Chickens, cats, flowers.

Like a doctor tending her patients, no? Checking their health, making sure they have the conditions to thrive. In the case of flowers -- monitoring them carefully, for disease, soil moisture, support needs and presentation, so that they may show us their best face in their period of bloom.

Showing your best face! It reminds me of when I was very little, someone (my grandfather? my father? I don't remember) said to me -- wipe that frown off of your face. Because what if your face froze now? You'd have a frown for the rest of your life!

It was a bit of a tease and I'm sure I didn't take it seriously then, but these days, I think there may be a thin layer of wisdom in those words. It's not that I think that faces freeze, but I do believe that expressions that you resort to with some frequency in the course of your life become entrenched and by the time you are old, you fall back on them with some regularity. You lose the flexibility to cycle through all options and you go to the one that has served you well in life. That scowl? It worked before, out it comes now, with some choice words for emphasis. Target and ready audience? Well, there's your daughter for example.

My mother doesn't have Alzheimer's but I did find some useful advice on the Alzheimer's Association's website for those who are with patients who are, well, grumpy. (And worse.) I read the following:  Many will experience major personality changes. A sweet, gentle person may behave sweeter after the on-set of Alzheimer's, while the “bossy” kind may become even more controlling. So, what you were before, only in mega doses. The recommendation is to not reason with them, or confront them.  I sometimes forget about the "don't try to reason" part! Still, the constancy of that scowl and those harsh words, reserved especially for me, reminded me so much of the childhood warning -- don't frown, because maybe your face will freeze and you wont be able to get your smile back.

 

Later, much later, Ed and I explored a county park we'd never heard of before -- Anderson Farms Park, just about ten miles south of where we live. We thought we had done them all and yet -- here it is, on a map, a completely new terrain for us.

Was it worth the (ten minute) drive? Yes it was. (And not only because it is such a pretty ten minute drive! Past this meadow with grasses that are almost as tall as the longhorns who graze there!)

The Anderson Farms Park itself is a little more manicured than the county park just up the road from us, but the effect is lovely. A prairie extends through its belly and right now, the wild indigo plants are putting on quite the performance!

We actually sit down on one of the benches just to look and admire it all.

There are several paths through wooded areas and these are good as well, though we are close enough to a development that we hear the sound of the lawn mower. It's understandable that someone would be running the machine on a holiday afternoon, but still, it does interfere a little with the sensual drift of a walk along a forested path.  

Yet a third loop leads you past an orchard. We could not find any fruit trees (except for mulberries and they dont really count!), but we did pass a lovely wheat field. The wheat here is used as a cover crop but for me, the associations are strong with my childhood in the Polish village, where wheat crops and potatoes dominated the farmlands around us.

We pick some of the invasive Dame's Rocket to take home for the kitchen table. The Dane County Parks encourages you to pluck these flowers for exactly that purpose. The more you pick, the prettier your bouquet, and the healthier the park meadows and forests will be.

Evening at the farmette:

There's nothing like it! The light fades very slowly. I fix us a supper of shrimp scampi and tons of asparagus. I put the flowers on the kitchen table. 

 

 

And we have ourselves another quiet set of hours at home. Sleepy from our walk, full of gratitude for living in such a beautiful corner of the planet.