morning with the Chicago girls, evening with Henry and Ed

The rain continues. And it doesn't matter. I'm in Chicago and the plan is to stay indoors. Juniper's Sunday soccer is called off. And that's fine too: I'm heading out to their place to eat their fantastic granola for breakfast.

And then I watch them bake a cake -- a project they had planned for this day because... well, the girls wanted to bake a chocolate cake!

I cannot leave without playing the timed-released selfie game.

I always end my visit with the younger family with a Sunday brunch, whether it be at the farmette (or these days at the Edge), or at a favorite neighborhood place in Chicago. Today, we decide to stick with the Mediterranean theme and go to Andros Taverna, a Greek eatery not yet brunch-tested by any of them.

It is... fabulously good and filling!

When I had first looked at the menu, my enthusiasm targeted their wonderful pastries. I lit up at the sight of a Baklava Bear Claw, and  Olive Oil Lemon Cake. And French Toast with Tahini Honey! But today I hesitate. You cannot do too many days chasing the sweet stuff in life. Should I hit pause button?

I opt for both: the healthy and the pastries. Which are... huge! 

It's always sad to leave my daughter and her family. 

 

 

It will never stop being sad. But, I also know that she will plunge into the next rich adventure and the next one and the one after, and I'm okay with just knowing that she is happy, that her girls, her husband are happy.

 

*     *     * 

 

I arrive in Madison in the late afternoon and I am on full speed ahead: I have to unpack all the stuff I had ordered for Henry. I have to get dog food. And then I have to go pick up this great big mutt (they call him a Retriever/Lab mix) and bring him home. (I asked them to weigh him: 51 pounds, so far.) His new home -- perhaps a concept totally unfamiliar to him as in Dallas Texas he was a street boy, picked up by the Rescue people and eventually sent to Wisconsin's shelter ("Shelter From the Storm"). 

(last moment at the shelter)

The ride to the Edge is about 20 minutes.They told me he's good in the car. Well sort of! He basically moved from one side of the back seat to the other. And yes, I know it's not safe for dogs to ride without being crated, but I cannot fit in a crate big enough to hold him in it, so there you have it.

I realize as I drive back that I am now a dog person. And it's either the best decision ever made or... not. I'm going to push it toward the first! 

At home, he is puzzled, disoriented, but not unhappy. He loves his toys -- the duckie that squeaks is his favorite. The retriever in him, for sure

He has the same chill in him as Goose, but he is in all other ways different: more youthful. Exuberant. Shy initially with a stranger, but not for long. Voracious eater. We will see if he has the same separation anxiety. I'll know tomorrow!

I worried about potty training, but so far he hasn't messed up anything. Maybe this wont be too hard? 

The kids come over to meet him. Joyfully. And then Ed comes with pizzas. This is another milestone. Will he be a food thief? Nope, not tonight anyway. 

 

(not sure I'm going to let you do this going forward...) 

 

Henry needs a lot of petting and reassurance. Of course he does. Everything is new for him. Has he even seen the inside of a home? A refrigerator? A table where dinner is served? Most likely not. A life of streets and pens. 

I'd say for the first day he did splendidly. We will see how the night goes!

With so much love... 

Chicago melodies

Much as I do not love the drive to Chicago (boring), I sure do love being here, for all the obvious reasons and then some. And this morning, I'm off to a good start!

(John Hancock tower and Lake Michigan at sunrise)

 

My daughter had given me a couple of suggestions for breakfast downtown (of the type she knows I like) and I decided to take a nice walk... 

 

 

... to Eataly.  

You know this place maybe? There are several dozen of them all over the world (including in the major cities of Italy). They specialize, of course, in Italian foods -- market and prepared, to shop for, to eat on the spot.

 

 

I had the most perfect breakfast of an almond coronatto with a latte, looking out on the street, reading my book, talking to Ed who now calls regularly in case I get lonely!

And of course, I could not resist -- their teas, their chocolate. Their kitchen stuff looked good as well, but I am no longer adding anything to any room in my home, no matter what, so I just looked and sighed.

On the way back to the hotel I stopped at a grocery store to pick up some fruit (always the missing component when you have breakfast in cafe-bakeries). And I thought -- what a fine day this is going to be!

 (elevator nonsense)

 

My assignment is to pick up Primrose at her ballet class at 12:30. I worried about this because her ballet studio is awfully close to where the Chicago No Kings demonstration will take place. (And yes, were I in Madison, I would be there for our own, because I do believe in democracy. Ed was there -- he could have been one of those with the sign "Even the Introverts are here.") This is why I came to Chicago early -- I can leisurely walk to her studio, rather than relying on the car or on public transport on what is sure to be a packed noon hour in Chicago.

And by the way, the city is so... calm. In case you doubted it. The observers could see a packed avenue of protesters, twenty-two blocks long. Moving all the way to this building:

 

 

 

I abandoned the marching route to get to the ballet studio on time to catch a few minutes of the girl's dance routine.

 

 

Primrose knows her routine well and so she basically guides me through the process of checking out and finding the El stop so that we could take the Blue Line to her neighborhood.

She hadn't eaten lunch, so we pop into Mindy's to pick up more treats for a late lunch. And a bag of freshly baked treats for Goose and Henry.

And then we finally made it back. 

Now is the time to read, to play, to wait for Juniper to wake up....

And to listen and watch Tianyao Lyu perform her two Chopin pieces as a finalist in the Chopin Competition taking place in Warsaw. A remarkable moment!

 

 

 

Oh! Juniper is up! Bringing a snack of seaweed chips for her sister...

 

 

We used the rest of the afternoon for Halloween. At least the preparation for it: the girls were eager to try on their costumes (characters from the K Pop Demon Hunters movie):

 

 

 

 

 

(oh that hair!) 

 

 

 

 

Time to get ready for dinner. (Snowdrop, wont you ever learn to like pony tails or braids??) 

 

 

 

For the evening meal, we head out to Lula Cafe. 

 

 

 

I have eaten there before, apparently, but at this point, it's like trying to remember what you wore on one certain day ten years ago -- there were too many meals, too many days, too many happenings in between and so the memories fade. In any case, it is a fantastic place of Mediterranean foods -- so good, so up my alley right now!

(dessert time)

 

 The day's excitement catches up with the three year old Juniper. That's okay, she is reminded that she can practice what they taught her in school: meditation!

 

 

 They return home, I Uber back to the hotel. It's pouring rain at the moment. I hope so much it's equally wet back home. But maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not on the day when I am to bring Henry home.

I knew it would be a grand Chicago day. It always is. Primrose said to me -- grandma, even though we dont see you as often as the other grandparents (they all have homes in the city), the nice thing is that when you do come, you hang out with us all day here. You're the only one who does that. Yes, there are at least a few benefits to being the more distant grandparent: when you come together, it's always incredibly special!

with so much love... 

 

music to my ears: a Chicago and Henry day

How could I neglect to tell you that the eleven finalists of the Chopin Competition were selected yesterday! Among this noble group you will find two Americans, one Pole, just one of the favored Canadians, four women and among them -- my own "I'm rooting for you" favorite -- the 16 year old Tianyao Lyu from China. All eleven will play (along with the Warsaw Philharmonic) one of the two piano concertos and a Polonaise. It's going to be a tense weekend!

But not for me. I have four things going and they're huge! But not tense. 1. There's the Chopin to listen to, especially tomorrow, after Tianyao plays; 2. There is Chicago: I scheduled a visit with my daughter and her two girls (dad's away) and it's a good thing that I did! It fit in well, given the weeks ahead; 3. We are coming onto Ed's 75th and our 20th, this Monday. We will be celebrating for sure. Though he wont admit it because, you know, every day is a birthday and anniversaries are silly. 4. Today I adopted Henry.

Henry??? Who is Henry???

Well, one of the local shelters wrote to me late yesterday -- do I still want Henry? He is a black lab/retriever mix. That's Goose's combo too and indeed, Henry also comes from Texas -- abandoned there, sheltered and transported to Wisconsin just a week ago where again he found shelter in a shelter.

Henry was born in March and I gather he has never known a home life, so he remains somewhat of a mystery. Is he house-broken? Who knows. Does he know how to walk on a leash? Um, ask me later in the week. What I do know about him is that he has a temperament that I think fits well with mine: he is chill. Seemingly not excitable. Quiet. Cautious, but cuddly. That's all that the shelter knows about him and I confirmed much of it today when I went to meet him.

 

 

 

Here's how that happened: as you know, I expressed interest in about ten rescue dogs that I can pick up within 100 miles of here. Out of literally hundreds whose profiles I studied. Some had detailed descriptions, some, like Henry, had only a few sentences, because what more could you say after only a one week shelter stay. Out of my ten picks, by this morning, three had responded. Henry's shelter wrote to me first. And the application for him was the shortest. Clearly the place (which we know well, because it is where Ed takes the feral cats to be spayed) wants to find homes quickly so that they can make space for the never-ending stream of mistreated and abandoned dogs.

By midnight last night I pretty much knew Henry would be coming home with me (at the end of the weekend, because, well, right now I am in Chicago!).

I spent a chunk of the night, making lists of needed supplies and getting Amazon to hightail them over to the apartment by Saturday. They are so good at that! And I made an appointment to visit Henry at noon.

This morning, well, there was a quick breakfast...

I packed for Chicago, and went to Mounds to get a crate for the guy. Amazon cant quite promise one that quickly. I had the feeling that I would like him, so I even ordered a tag with his name before I met him.

With all those swirling questions and mysteries, I knew that the thing that mattered most was that he should be really mellow with people. That he isn't totally freaked by them. That he would like kids. And that he wouldn't be a barker, because I do live in an apartment. He sweetly checked off all those boxes and I signed the adoption papers then and there.

 

("do I have to sign anything?") 

 

("do I at least get a treat for being such an adoptable dog?")

 

 

And then I did my grandkid-pick-up routine. First one, briefly at home with his Goose...

 

 

 

...then the other, and both to the Edge.

In the evening, I drove to Chicago -- not my favorite time to drive, but I need to be here tomorrow morning and with the demonstrations and traffic I decided that it was better to drive at night and get here today rather than the risk it and travel tomorrow.

I surprised them with my early (meaning Friday rather than the usual Saturday) arrival! As always, I parked by their home. The traffic wasn't terrible so I got to see the two sweet girls before they zonked out for the night...

 

 

 

 

 

... and I grabbed a quick supper at their place and visited for just a brief while with my daughter before Ubering over to my hotel downtown (the Sofitel)where I landed a fabulous twoffer deal, in a room that I swear is the same as last time, with the same view...

So, it's a busy weekend, agreed?

But I should write a few words still about the nature of this leap into dog ownership. It's not as crazy as it seems. I love having a dog at home (I dont love all strange dogs with their varied personalities, just as I dont love all people with their varied personalities), but a dog always had to take a back seat to everything else that was going on in my life: adolescence, marriage, family, work. Farmhouse cats. I always knew that if I had to live alone, I would be now, in my retirement, tempted to take care of a needy dog. As I told Ed -- we are still together, but I live alone and you dont really like it when I worry about you so now I can worry about the dog instead.

Perhaps that's a simplification of the progression in my thinking, but it is also true that if I am to care for a dog, I cant wait much longer. It wouldn't be fair to the poor pooch. As it is, I hesitated about taking in an animal who requires exercise, because who knows if in ten years I'll be even mobile enough to handle him. But my best guess is that I can do this. Now. When you are a senior, you really do need to make decisions quickly because big-time long-term projects are not going to hang around waiting for you. If you dont lose your memory or your mobility you can still grow just too tired to handle something like... a big dog!

Okay, I need to catch up on sleep. From flowers to Henry. I think it's a good pivot! But now, let's focus on my Chicago trip. With the tall buildings and the awesome girls.

and so much love... 

 

invisibility

You've heard this complaint before: older people claim they are invisible (in this country). Most youthful types out there would like to ignore them, try hard to ignore them, work on it fastidiously, because, well, you know, the age of the elderly might rub off on them. I never found this to be terribly disturbing. Being ignored by young people is fine with me. It's not as if they're able to offer you life's wisdoms that only come with age. Besides, they live in a state of perpetual frenzied stress. You don't want that to rub off on your nicely aging state of calm. So we're good, right?

Well, along comes this day. I was up past midnight, fixated on this idea that perhaps I should train a dog to be a support animal (see previous post on that one). I have the time and patience for it. And there are lots of dogs that have been abandoned in this country (and probably everywhere else: many humans have been notoriously mean to animals). I could work with them. Especially the big and gentle ones. Like Goose, only not Goose because Goose is happy in his new surroundings.

Try putting in an inquiry for a dog when you are 72 years old. Go ahead, just try it. Pretend you are and fill out the forms. I can promise you that the phone will not start ringing off the hook. You will not get instant messages or emails asking for details of your situation. Basically, you will be ignored.

Now, I get that. If you take in a young pup at 72, she or he will likely live when your frail self will be pushing 87. And what if you get sick or die, what happens to the dog then? Everyone imagines that the ideal placement for an abandoned dog is a happy family with kids and a fenced back yard. But tell me -- who has the time for an animal in need of time, a young family with working parents and school aged children or... me?

Anyway, now you know what I did last night and this morning. I studied pages upon pages (hundreds of them) listing abandoned dogs, with histories that would make your hair stand on edge. Before breakfast, with breakfast,,,

 

... after breakfast. 

It was the day for me to go to the farmhouse...

I should have put in a few dozen more bulbs, but instead, Ed and I sat on the couch and he helped me fill out forms where forms needed to be filled out (he is quite supportive of any care any human wants to give to any animal; he's also very good at filling out pdf files for free).

And still, in the end, nothing came of it. So far, anyway. 

 

And then it was time to pick up Sparrow... (and to say hello to Goose)

Then Snowdrop...

And bring them home to the apartment for a while...

 

 

 

 

 

After returning the two big ones home, I come back to my Edge apartment and wonder about this world of people and animals and how it all hangs together, but just barely, with not necessarily a happy outcome for very many. At least not all the time. But one can hope! I haven't given up -- on humanity, or on dogs.

with so much love... 

 

destiny

Destiny, belief in a supernatural guiding power, divine decrees -- all these concepts are foreign to me. [An insert here: might they be increasingly foreign to others as well? A couple of days ago, Snowdrop said that kids in her class were tasked with writing an essay about themselves. The teacher suggested mention of religious preferences. Snowdrop said several kids asked "how do you spell atheist?"] I just don't subscribe to them (though I certainly respect others who think differently here. After all, half of my family attends church services on a regular basis). I'll stick with concepts such as nature, science, love, community and a whole bunch of unknowns that we have yet to discover.

However...

I do think it's eerily interesting that I woke up at 5:23 this morning. I've been sleeping very well in the past couple of weeks, catching up on much needed rest every night. And here I am, awake with the knowledge that I could be (should be?) doing something right now.

Yes! The Chopin Competition! Tianyao Lyu had been scheduled to perform at 12:25 Polish time (5:25 CST). I bring my computer to bed and turn on live streaming.

I should have checked on that time, because I see that actually she began playing at noon. Five my time. Not sure if I got the schedule wrong or if they moved things up. In any case, I heard her live, for at least two of the pieces, and I caught up with the rest over breakfast.

It felt like destiny.

Lyu very much reminds me of Olivia Hussey, who played Juliet in the 1968 movie Romeo and Juliet. Olivia was British-Argentinian and Tianyao is Chinese, but there is a physical similarity. And they are both 16 when put on the world stage. And their emotional depth is intense. I was mesmerized by Olivia. I was just 15 when I saw her on the big screen and it utterly transfixed me. I went to see the movie a dozen times in one month (in Warsaw -- I was living in Poland then). I can't say that Lyu's playing has that effect on me -- at 72 you dont get transfixed by much anymore -- nonetheless the girl (young woman?) really has had an impact on me. I can't help but wonder what goes through her head and soul when she plays Chopin. When she plays anything at all.

 

The day is wet. Rain at last. May it keep coming down all day long. (It doesn't, but in the morning, I have hope.)

I have two events scheduled for this day (which is a lot for me!). One is life changing, the other -- not so much.

Let's start with the not-so-much one: the Edge apartment complex strives to create a community among its residents. Every week or two they organize events where people can meet and spend some time together. I admire this effort quite a lot. Community is something I do believe in and I notice an unusual amount of respect and courtesy among the residents here, which, I think, is not unrelated. People hold doors for each other, they greet and pet each others' dogs. It's just a very polite place! Today they have a "pumpkin and dessert" event, where you can sign up to decorate (with paints I believe) pumpkins -- they supply them! -- and eat desserts -- you supply those. I dont have any pumpkin decorating skills so I signed up for bringing a dessert. I thought I'd bake, but I changed my mind at the last minute. I noticed on the sign-up sheet that many were bringing cookies. No one wants yet another cookie if there are several dozen to choose from already. So I drive over to Bloom Bakery to see what they have there that would be more unusual. A lazy person's approach to be sure!

I pick a combination of salted caramel brownies and yes, cookies -- their rich cherry chocolate chip oatmeal ones, and a maple apple danish, cut up into small pieces.

And then I am back, because I have an appointment for my second event: I am, for the first time in my entire life, about to hire a cleaning service. Just once a month. Honestly, my apartment is immaculate right now. I have fussed exceptionally hard to keep it that way. But I am terrified of a slide, because at the farmhouse there was indeed a slide. It was tough to vacuum under the bed, around the cords, so I did less and less of that. It was tedious to dust off the baseboards, so I didn't bother. After a while, it showed. In the apartment, I dont want to climb up and dust off the cabinet tops. And washing the floors? How often should that be done? Not often enough at the farmhouse. Again, I'm so traumatized by the slow deterioration of the farmette lands and spaces that I want to put up some guardrails going forward. I will spend the money to have a person come in once a month for an hour and clean all the places I'm sure to neglect. Even if s/he is starting with a very clean apartment!

I'm excited. I had to ask around -- who do you hire? How do you tip? Do you clean before they come so you present as a neat and tidy person?

My team comes... as a team. A crew of four! Oh my. By the time they enter the apartment it is crowded in that wee space. I go downstairs to the lobby to sit out the hour. 

After they finish, the place looks really clean! Even cleaner than it was before they showed up! Oh, I know how that goes -- you may have thought you did well by your spaces, until someone comes and does it significantly better.

I am hooked.  

 

The pumpkin and desserts event is well attended. I pop in for all of ten minutes. That's how social I'm feeling today! 

There is one encounter, however, that is quite interesting. I meet a woman and her dog, Oscar. He, too, is a rescue pup. Well, at 11, not really a pup anymore.  

(super good with people)

The owner took it upon herself to train him as a certified support dog. He's a regular at our local hospital, as much for the stressed-out staff as for the patients. 

I've heard how difficult it is to train a dog for this. It took her four years of intense work, both in obedience and in working with people. At this point, he's one of those dogs where you can place a steak in his doggie dish and he wont touch until you give him permission. Of course, he has the temperament for it, but only partly so. There's a border collie mix in him and you know the intensity of those dogs!  

I'm getting too old to take on a dog (aren't I?), but I always thought if I lived without Ed I'd consider it. Because it is a project, and at all other dog-owning times, it was a drain to work with the animal, but now, maybe it wouldn't be such a drain. A dog, instead of frequent travel. But then, am I really living without Ed? Or is this temporary? And if it's temporary, how will our not-temporary time look a year from now?

Or maybe it's my destiny to rescue a dog and to go with him or her to hospitals and soothe frazzled nerves. 

Choices. When you are approaching the most senior of senior years, you have, more than ever before, choices.

with love...